Lately it seems as if everything is just piling up on top of me. I got wrongfully terminated from a job i was at for 16 years which was extremely stressful lately. I have a 3 year old son who i cannot for the life of me get to behave no matter what i do. I found a job and havd only been there two days and already feel as if im walking into a place i dont belong. This past weekend i have been nonstop crying and thought how easy it would be to just take my medicine and not wake up. Im at […]
So here i am in church and the only thing i want to do is leave and and cut myself he is talking about depression. So its not like i cant.Relate but i cant breath and i want ro leave i understand what the pastor is saying.but i cant. All he talking about is suicide and o get god you you dont like it i want do it. Dont give up in your convince and hope and you will be rewarded. Ok i get but damn. I cant breath and I want to leave .
Sitting in the dark waiting for nothing
Well, hello everyone..
I haven’t written on a site like this before but tonight I needed to tell someone, anyone before I explode. Just as an over view I’m an 18 year old in the grey as hell country of England on the south coast somewhere..
I have always been treated for one kind of mental health issue or another. My mom had me put through Dragonflies which is a kind of bereavement councillor when I was in year six so around 10 / 11 years old, I think she was hoping I was just sad when my grandad passed. Don’t get me wrong I was but […]
When you express your will to die, all we get in response is the common “Dont do that you have so much to live for ” :It will get better” “There are people who love you” but I gunna say this plainly. It’s our choice, dont try to stop us….it’s our free will. “When things come falling down, we’ll do what we want to” -sws
I hate my life.
I hate my life because I am too stressed. I have been pouring over textbooks my whole life and I have been judge by my peers many many times. I can tell you ,any educational facts, but I cannot tell you the value of security and/or kindness. I can tell you many people have attempted to take their lives because of school. I can tell you that mistakes are viewed as failures in many hallways. A wrong answer is a sin you must atone to, not a human error, but a flaw so grand it defines your life course. When I get […]
My destiny is suicide.
So my Dr. forced me to go to the hospital on Wednesday and I got out yesterday. I dont really know how that helped me. They upped my doses of meds. I haven’t had any suicidal thoughts in about a day. I haven’t choked myself with anything either but I still fill depressed. I really Dont know how its going to get better. It seems like I’m in an endless hole of despair.
Cant take this anymore.
Im no longer alive, i simpley exist
Cant remember the last time i saw sense in something
Everything just seems like its not worth it
Dont know why i still bother
I simpley just lost my power to feel anything
Im trapped in this hell where everything just seems pointless.
(forgive any gramatical eror. Inglsh is not my first language)
Another conversation passes another friend I’ve pretended with. life’s a game I don’t wanna play anymore. But I have to, if not for myself than for my friends….i cant be so selfish to them. To Tammy Lee
The only thing that burns in Hell is the part of you that won’t let go of your life; your memories, your attachments. They burn ’em all away. But they’re not punishing you, he said. They’re freeing your soul. […] If you’re frightened of dying and holding on, you’ll see devils tearing your life away. But if you’ve made your peace then the devils are really angels, freeing you from the Earth
life is full of surprises right and i have faith in it too but i dont get it why im being so impatient. there are things which i let go of and trust me i never had any regrets but these days it is different story, Â i always value my principles and morals and always used to think that if people come to me because they think im someone who have power and money they are not sincere. BUT lol due to this i have been isolated by my family they dont value me anymore they only pity me and that is quite upsetting i […]
Hard to fight,
The urge to cut,
No one cares,
Or so i thought,
Dont give up,
Just yet my dear,
Hold on!
As a child I started hating everyone. 2 years ago it got worse and i stopped going out, i didn’t go to School anymore, I stopped eating and never left my room. My mom started worrying but she didn’t know what to do so she just argued with me before she called a psychiatric and a lawyer which said that they will hospitalize me in some time. I had to wait about 3 Months before the could take me, they said. I was glad to be free so far although I was just sitting in my bed all day. Then I decided to end this pain. […]
my name is callum im 14 years old and i have destroyed my life. It started with me always yelling at my sister and my mom and dad holding me back my dad always told me it was just a phase and i would be ok. he is gone now and he was wrong. recently i threw my sister into a wall and broke her arm. my mom locked me in the washroom and turned up the heat. she wanted me dead. i broke the window and ran. ran. ran. i was downtown , freezing and starving i decided to head home . my mom […]
He called my name
I walked away
Now im wishing i would have stayed
We walk around
Both looking at the ground
Scared to catch the other staring
But we both move on with out a sound
Remember the first night we kissed
I hope im not the only one who misses it..
I’m stupid for still loving you
My hopes are childish like i am
1 year younger, worlds apart
Here i sit with a broken heart
You said you wanted to ask me somthing..
Now im wondering what
But i lost my chance to hear it
By my own stubborness
Forgive me
For loving you
More then you could ever love […]
This is me and my x boyfriend. I met him at a party he was the first guy i was truely happy with. I love him so much i was willing to give up everything.. even my virginity. but we never made it that far. When he got a job he started to like another girl. Weeks past and i noticed he was distancing himself from me, one day i asked him ” what time do you get off tonight” and he snapped saying “why do you […]
Quit Worrying About How You Look, it’s About Whats On The Inside!
i don’t care who you are. your beautiful and amazing in your own unique and special way, please don’t let what he/she says make you stop believing that. the people who hurt you most are the ones who usually are the closest to you…but don’t beat yourself up, and depress yourself with it, because they may have called you ugly. stupid. fat. etc..but only you can believe them..only you can take it to heart. only you can take it as far as it gets. You, are Your Biggest Enemy. free yourself from mental slavery, […]
Its been heating up nicely in Pennsylvania. Had some ugly (obvious self harm) scars on my arm since last November. 5 of them, they made me sick. I was so fucked up (drunk) when I did them it was hazey to remember. I used a steak knife because I didn’t have a razor. Really tore the skin apart. (Saw fatty tissue) the next day I was fucking pissed. I let a fucked up shell of the worst of me scar me. The first month was bad. They wouldn’t heal. I thought I was going to have to stich it up myself with fishing line because […]