Fuck. My. (So-Called). Life.

Everyone’s annoying and out to get you. Your friends are disrespectful and unappreciative little cunts who don’t give a shit about what you’re going trough (the only reason they ask ,,what’s wrong” is purely curiosity) and the people around you stopped appreciating you a long time ago. 

You’re an ugly little ***** who no guy will ever date, fuck or marry.

You’re not doing well in school or work ergo you deserve to die because you’re a useless member of this society. 

By wanting to kill yourself, talking about depression and anxiety, having anger fits and complaining makes you either boring or a scary individual that nobody wants to interact with.

By talking about dying and never actually going through with it, makes you a chicken shit. 

You are so ugly and disgusting that you avoid going out in public, being around people & partying with your friends. Oh and don’t even get me started on where this perception of yourself does to your sex life or just your personal life. I’ll give you a hint : 5 months of nothing…and not much before that. This makes you feel even more like a loser and not to mention lonesome. You are going to die alone. 

You’ve done it all : Therapy, psychiatrists, prescribed medication , seminars, self help books,recreational drug abuse…But nothing seems to work. You have lost hope. 

You are completely and utterly useless and hopeless. 

These are the frequent thoughts that go through my mind every hour, maybe even every few minutes. This is my outlook on life. Now tell me, how am I…suppose…to continue being alive…when I see no way out of this dark hole I’ve created for myself (with a little help from others).

I usually don’t ask people this but…ANY ADVICE WOULD HELP AT THIS POINT. I NEED IT, REAL BAD.

P.S

This blog & my anger tonight was triggered by an Asian ***** who works at Rikki Chan’s, a chineese fast food place. I ordered noodles and chicken while this stupid ************ gave me a handful of noodles, a little bit of chicken and a SHITLOAD of rice. I fucking hate rice. So I called the place and screamed for about 5 minutes before she agreed to give me my next meal at Rikki Chan’s for free. Fuck her.