I attempted to commit suicide last night by suffocation. Did not work. I also tried hanging myself: no success there. Think I might try a drug overdose next time.
I will start out with saying that I am only alive today out of spite. I have had family and friends who have tried to destroy me, and failed. I have fought to stay alive, and I have had nothing handed to me. I learned how to program, how to make more money in a month than many people see in a year, graduated high school, and survived multiple hospitalizations for various things, none of them being psychiatric. I have only lived this long because I had decided that everyone who had tried to hurt me had been my enemies, and that the greatest suffering […]
…Or rather, life when depression is artificially suppressed by a drug called Abilify. It’s pretty good peeps. The weather here in the UK is freaking gorgeous at the moment. Not hot but so mild and balmy, cloudless sky, pollution in the high range here in London apparently but I can’t say I’ve really noticed.
I was getting out and mixing somewhat before, but always driven by desperation, need and fear of the alternative. Now I’m getting out coz I’m kind of excited to meet new peeps and do new things. Went to a local social meet up thing this afternoon, for peeps over 50 with a […]
Hi sweet suicidal peeps. I love you. I’m up in the wee small hours again. No surprise there. I went on a drug called abilify a week ago. At that point I couldn’t take any more suicidal depression. Abilify does a number on you. I can’t sleep, am restless yet terribly fatigued, worried about high blood sugar/pre-diabetes. Yet I have to say it’s stopped the depression, and the effects kicked in real quick.
Abilify also makes me want to eat everything in sight, with unhealthy, fatty, junk foods being the drug of choice. I can’t afford to indulge though. I’m 53 and carrying a lot of […]
So I start my position as assistant manager today and I just did a shot of heroin in front of the cameras. It’s sad that a hardcore drug addict has a better work ethic than all of these normal people. I feel bad when I get promoted over people that have been with the company for years and I havent even been here a year.
My username, effystonem, is based on Effy Stonem, a character from the British television show Skins. It’s truly a great show and if you watch it you’ll enjoy, I’m sure. Effy is a main character in the second generation of Skins, although she does show up in a few episodes in the first generation. Effy is completely relatable; at least I think she is. She’s quiet, dark, an alcoholic and drug addict. And she’s only 16. She’s drop dead gorgeous on the show, although her personality tends to repel people. She’s just a girl who bottles up all her emotions in this tiny, frail body. […]
Ever heard of MSM? It’s a dietary supplement, so it’s all natural. It enhances cell permeability and thus allows nutrients to flow more freely. It makes you feel a lot more energetic! Sleeping might be more difficult, but lol. Compared to the lack of motivation associated with depression, this makes me feel like I could do anything! Like woaaah. And it’s not a drug either, it’s naturally found in diet. It’s also called organic sulfur, and it’s in garlic, meat, chicken, eggs and milk and so on. It’s also available as pills and powders in health stores. The powder tastes awful. You should take it […]
These are the main emotions I’m feeling right now as i desire to take my life away. I am a complete and utter failure and drug addict, I’ve manipulated and lied to those around me and the people who care for me, I really just want someone to kill me, atleast that way I can’t fail at suicide. I’m consistently troubled and shut down to anyone who tries to get close, I’ve failed at school twice, have no money to my name and just am at a lack of words now, I want it all to end now.
So hey I’m new here so please don’t judge me with what I post.
I’ve had suicidal thoughts since sixth grade. I’m now in tenth. I’ve kept telling myself to not worry that it will get better. That’s only a lie though. It’s gotten way worse. Especially high school. This past year I’ve made mistakes and I’ve trusted the wrong people. I was bullied on Ask.fm because of it. It got so bad that I wouldn’t get out of bed. I just cried all day. Every time I get a notification from it I jump. I’m scared to death that it’s going to be hate or […]
A psychologist gave me a booklet for ‘the bereaved’ to inform me on what I would feel in the coming weeks/months/years. Seeing as every time I start to read the shitty booklet I bawl my eyes out, I’ve decided to write about what I am feeling and hope to feel in the coming weeks/months/years. I hope that in writing this, others who may find themselves in a similar disastrous situation can get some sort of comfort in knowing that shit luck affects a lot of people.
First of all, my boyfriend committed suicide. We were at my house arguing, it was an ongoing insecurity fight that […]
Hi everyone, I used to be a frequently posting member of SP even before the site’s new look and new options with the dash (….which really wasn’t all that long ago guess.) I usually found answers and help here whenever it was sought, but it has been awhile since I have come here to say anything of real pertinence. I am back now because I have a real strong conviction and yearning to commit suicide and stop all of this damaged, irreparable ruinage. I know such things get said over and over on SP’ however it is difficult to go through […]
a man died and went to hell. after wandering around for a while, he ran across the devil. the man said ” ya know, devil, ive been here for awhile, and its really boring. do you have anything to do down here?” the devil looked at the man and said “why, of course we do. do you like to drink?” the man said “yes, yes i do like to drink”. the devil replied ” on mondays, we drink as much as we want,from dawn to dark, whatever flavor you want,beer, wine, whiskey.” the devil continued,” do you like to do drugs?” the man said ” […]
My step dad is a drug addict, and yesterday he said he was quiting and then today he has the nerve to come to me and ask for my pills, it’s like if i dont give them to him hes gonna hate me but if i do then i hate me i just want him to get better or get out it’s not fair that i have to live with him let alone my 2 year old sister i mean just fix yourself or leave my house.
Oh goodness I am so tired of people telling me I have a drug problem. I do not. My Mentor told me, “If anyone takes a substance to not feel, then that’s a problem.” I’m sorry I feel so sad all the time and am worried about other things, that I take pain pills to deal with it, and I cut myself to deal with it. I don’t know what else to do when I am so down in the dumps. I don’t know what to do. If I do have a problem, so what? No one is going to ‘help’ this poor 16 year […]
I am 60+. I am desperate. There is no help to be found, anywhere. Even for my simple problem.
I look for ways to exit. That is my right. But I can not find any sure way that is even semi-humane.
Why? Because every damn drug that could’ve helped me to do it peacefully has been withdrawn from the market.
They proudly announce their success in reducing peaceful suicides. Even though suicide rates continue to rise. Yet they offer no help in return. That is brutal, primitive and being proud of increasing torture. That is being an uncaring monster.
What a sick society we have.
Hello, I have severe migraines and headaches- headaches daily, migraines every several months or so and they last for usually one to two or three weeks. I’m a fire Tech student but because of my migraine I haven’t been to class since two weeks ago. It hurts constantly and on top of that I dislocated my knee in class several weeks ago trying to advance a charged hose line.
At at this point everything hurts and becoming a firefighter seems to be looking less and less like a possibility. Today I’m likely to be kicked out of one of my classes for lack of attendance and […]
Nobody loves me, in fact no one particular gives a shi* about me. My family’s screwed up, always arguing. I live with my nan, my mum has schizophrenia, my Granddad has bipolar and my dad is a drug/alcohol addict. No one at school likes me, I’m too ugly and fat.
I just feel like suicide is the only way out.
Sorry if I blinded you.
Sorry if I blinded you
It is hot and sunny out. 12:30pm. I hate feeling this way when it looks like that outside. When it’s daylight. Feeling suicidal in the sense that it’s more comforting to think about suicide then it is to think about how awful and worthless I am, but I’m not sure I would actually attempt something.
I got a new job. A real job. Real money. Real benefits. I should be ecstatic right now…and I was yesterday. So much so that my head was completely spinning with lists. Things I need to do. Things I need to buy. Things I need to be. Spin spin spin. I […]
Things are still pretty bad inside my body. My head and heart hurt really bad, but not as bad. I want to go on Facebook and say I want to die, not because I’m planning suicide but because this feels really serious to me. But I don’t need a 72 hour hold and I think all the “buck up camper” replies I’ll get would make me throw up.
I’m frightened that I’m never going to be able to function at a job. What am I going to do with the rest of my life? I can’t keep giving my all over and over again only to […]
I used to be so much. I used to be a firefighter and when i would show up on the scene of a suicide I would always wonder how low does someone have to be to do that. I understand now. I have so much hate built up inside. The things that I once loved have turned away from me. The woman i love would rather be beat by a drug addict than be with me. I stay around for my mom, but it’s getting so bad I’m sure she would be better off without me too. I want to see my sister she’s been […]