Im out of my meds, and havent taken them for a couple of days, and im freaking the hell out. I need my fucking zolft . I feel like im trying to swollow a fucking knife right now, I want to cry , can you belive that? Im a guy im not supposed to cry, im supposed to just lock that shit away but with out drugs im fucked. I feel like ripping of my face or throwing everything on the floor and re-organize for hours(last time I arranged the house for 2 fucking days) Fuck OCD and Fuck depression and Fuck anxiety. I am […]
Tag:
Drugs
I stumbled upon this site on accident, as I’m sure a lot of users have. Â After spending a good hour reading through older posts I decided that maybe it was a good idea to share my own story. Before I do though, I would like to request that I don’t get any of those standard responses that you see on most forums. I really don’t want to hear about how selfish I am, or how things will magically get better one day – no offense, but none of you know me and you can’t rightfully say anything about my lifestyle choices. Isn’t the internet grand?
Anyway, […]
I love my friends with all my heart, but it really seems like they just don’t care about me. Saying they do is one thing, but doing is another. Whenever they need help, I’m there. Whenever they need anything, I’m there. It could be just a small problem and I’ll listen to them no matter what. I have picked them up in the middle of nights many times. I do things without expecting a thank you in return. But whenever I’m feel sad or hurt they just give some one-liner bullshit like “Oh, I’m sorry.” Then they move on with their day. I’ll be honest […]
I’ve been a cutter since I was 11 or 12.. since before I knew why I liked it, or that other people in the world did it.
It may be a dangerous addiction, but I argue that it isn’t worse than drugs or alcohol or smoking.
I basically live in long sleeves and pants, but in ten years, I’ve slipped up and had some scars spotted by friends, family, co-workers.
I find some morbid fascination in people’s reactions and wondered what kind of reactions other people on here have received.
These days, I only keep close friends who understand my issues, but when I was a kid, […]
Are you afraid of being alone? ‘Cuz I am. I’m lost without you. Are you afraid of leaving tonight? ‘Cuz I am. I’m lost without you….
by Nat....
written by Nat....
I have the worst fucking headache ever. 🙁
Today during first lesson, I got this amazing feeling. Y’know, That feeling of ‘everything is going to be okay’? Well, it’s gone now. It’s been replaced with hopeless despair and the slight sickening thoughts of ‘This could all be over’ are slowly creeping into my mind and taking over. I’m afraid of being alone.. I’m really afraid. I don’t want to be alone…
I really want to have something new to say, But I don’t. I have nothing. Same old shit about this broken toy that you’ve all read before.
My OCD is getting worse, A fuck load worse. And […]
Hello everyone,
I guess I’ll just start with the basics. My name is Jamie, I’m 20 years old and I live in Ireland. I study Computer Science and I’m just starting my last year. I have suffered from depression for close to 7 years now. I guess I had a rough life. I was abused by my father, sister and my relatives. My mum died from cancer when I was 14. She was also abused by my father (which is the worst part). I’ve been through foster care. I hate myself. I cut, I do drugs and I don’t eat enough. I’m ready to die but […]
I’ve done so many bad things I don’t know if there’s hope for redemption and I feel like I may as well end my life. Â About a year ago I started drinking heavily and started consorting with people from the gutter. Â I then began using drugs and since then have continued to use Cocaine. Â Every time I do it, it’s after drinking a lot and I drink a lot because I feel despair and lost, and then the next day I feel even worse. Â My wife wants to divorce me, I’ve ruined our finances, I’ve cheated, stole, and gone from being a good father […]
I really am trapped in nothingness, I have a problem where I just cant occupy myself or be active. I dont know wether its due to a neurolocal problem ive got but its like this claw is digging down in my brain, keeping me locked just to my thoughts, my standard of life is so low that my main things in it are websites and an on going conversation with the samaratans lol .. now thats some life! I did drugs again on the weekend (amphetamine) and it brought me to life, felt so much better, spent days writing lots and lots of song lyrics and […]
It’s been a while since I posted. I’ve been super busy with my new cashier job… Which makes me want to cut my arms open. I drive 40 minutes to stand in one spot for 8 hours doing the same thing over and over, making min. wage. Everything is all wrong. This life is too much. My family is in pieces, my love life is falling right behind it, I’ve lost all my friends and become addicted to drugs and shit…
They keep telling me I’m crazy and I need help so I just keep telling them to shove it. I may be crazy but I’d […]
Ever since I can remember I’ve been alone. When I was a baby my dad left and I’ve never met him, my so called mum wanted to give me to foster care but my nanna stepped in and took me in. My poppa mostly ignored me when I was growing up and he and my Nanna divorced when I was 10. I lived with my Nanna for a year. When we were living together she started a relationship with this guy and all I remember is her telling me it had ended with him because I was a bad kid. Then she sent me to live […]
Okay. Hi. I don’t know what posting here will do, I think I’d just like to share my thoughts on this somewhere. I’ll cover the steps I’ve taken, the thoughts I’ve idled over and my plan.
For my own reasons (which I won’t share, I’m not here to do that) I have decided that I am going to die. I’ve put a lot of thought into this, and death, and am okay with that decision. It has been in the works for a number of years. I have doubts, which I’ll cover, because anyone who can say they’re facing a big decision with no doubt is […]
I never liked drinking or smoking weed or any other drugs for that matter,hell i never even liked to party.I always liked being alone,me and the tv or reading a book or video games, whatever. I never even liked women that much, but i know for sure im not gay (no offense) but even the act of sex seems evil and strange to me???? I dont think im from this planet
lost my mother,my father,my uncle,my car,my dog,my cat, my health, my home, I’m wanted by the sheriff, no one in my family hardly talks to me, I’m thousands of dollars in debt. I can’t have sex, I’m 42 years old. I’m an alcoholic and use drugs, I hate my job, I hate my neighbors, I just want it all to go away!!
I’m really, really sad.
But at the same time everything just seems so free right now. I just want to be free. I think I make believe too much. I pretend that I’m this girl who just has fun and doesn’t care and is free. The only time I’m free is when I’m intoxicated by alcohol and/or drugs.
That’s not ‘free’, That’s a prisoner. I’m a prisoner.
I think it’s getting serious again too but I dont know where or how to get help because of trust issues, And also the fact that
When I’m sad, I have no friends.
Now people think I’m happy […]
I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder two years ago. I took drugs and went through therapy, and I did end up feeling better. But for the past 6 months or so, when I’ve been alone with just myself, I’ve been incredibly suicidal. I can’t talk to anyone about it, because they’ll just put me back in the hospital, but I’ve been through all that, and obviously it’s not helping anymore, if it ever did at all. When I’m around other people, I’ll generally have a good time, but as soon as all distractions are gone, I’m back to suicide. I don’t have a difficult life, I’m […]
This is the question:
I wonder where it will end should it be in the neighborhood park or a diff city and state?This is my story:
I have tried to OD on drugs at 15 years old I’m 47 now. The drugs was not enough to kill me plus they pumped my stomach. The state of GA took me away from the ones who would beat me and stomp me. I was in hospital for 3-4 days then I was put in a crazy house and stayed there for 6 long months. When I did get out I was placed in a home that the state […]
All my life ive been used, abused& hurt. Ive been treated like i dont mean anything. Its been like that since i can remember. When i was in my moms stomach she would drink and do drugs and still smoke. She didnt care. Shes never cared. She cheated on my dad all the time and treated him like nothing. She would leave and stay gone for short periods of time. She lost her good job for the state because shed rather go outand drink. When i was a baby and my little sister was a newborn my mom decided to kidnap us. Yes aparent can […]
there is so much i have to say and i don’t really know where to begin… so i’ll try to start from the beginning. i don’t really remember ever being very happy. i spent the first five years of my life with a father who did and sold drugs all the time and when and if he came home he was abusive towards my mom. i don’t remember this but my mom told me that he pushed her down the stairs when she was pregant with my youngest brother. we never really had much money because my mom couldn’t work with all of us being […]
Damnnit, ive took all of this stress to long! i Need Drugs!