Well….here i am again staring at this page not really knowing what to do anymore. I chickened out on telling my parents about my depression and the cutting has become more and more, when I first started it took me a few minutes before i could actually gain the “courage” to cut but now its become really easy an effortless for me. I know that I really need help because its come to the point that I’ve actually convinced myself that being bulimic is okay, not that any of my other friends have told me otherwise, all I ever get from them now if I […]
Tag:
easy
I used to consider myself pretty smart and a good student, but nowhere else have I felt as lazy and stupid as when I’m in class. High school was a breeze cause the stuff was easy and we hardly did anything, but this so called “Higher Education” is such a waste. Many professors don’t teach and expect you to do everything they can do. Nice self-esteem killer. And even if you pass it doesn’t prove you have any practical skills.
So, feel free to share your college horror stories.
i will not say why i want to suicide, i dont want you to tell me that i should accept what is happening or blah blah blaah..
i just want to die, i really really want to, for to times i took more than 25 pills and nothing happend, just pain, and now i know that it is not a good way to suicide, brcause it won’t kill you, so i am asking for an easy way to suicide, please help me..
I’m not sure why I’m feeling the way I am. When I made my decision and came up with the plan, I felt relieved. When I took the first step and bought a burial plot in the small cemetery where my father is buried, I felt I had accomplished something concrete. I already have rough drafts of my letters written, and decisions made on where and how. I’m just waiting for one more (unwanted) event to occur, after which no one will need me anymore. Yesterday I went out and ordered my headstone, which looks just like my dad’s, except that I wanted to put […]
Nothings seems to be okay anymore I’m tired of trying to make everyone happy I wish it was easy to be what everyone expects but I don’t know how to try anymore. There’s to much to understand to much to wish went right. How can I smile when all I do is lose every fight.
why is death the only answer? what happen if i succeed only to find that it hurts on the other side? where does this anguish come from and why cant i beat it? why cant i be a normal person? why do so many of us suffer from this? why cant life be simple and easy? why do people prevent me from having work, a place to live and food to eat? why cant i abide by the rules? so many questions, too few answers
I’ve felt empty since my teenage years. And now I’m 24. I never felt disapointed in me, even though I’ve never been happy with myself. More like always on other people. I never have spoken out loud about these things. Vice versa I pretend to be happiest person on this earth. Always cheering people to chase their dreams, whatnot. I never felt that there would be someone that would fully understand me enough. I get always the attention I don’t enjoy to get but don’t show it. Every single night I cry myself to sleep and wake up with a such a heartache. I feel […]
when I was younger all I wanted to do was grow up, now I just wish I was 5 when life was easy and carefree. Growing up sucks, period.
Music & Lyrics By: ?
We Know Full Well There’s Just Time
So Is It Wrong To Toss This Line?
If Your Heart Was Full Of Love
Could You Give It Up?
‘Cause what about, what about Angels?
They will come, they will go, make us special
Don’t give me up
Don’t give…
Me up
How unfair, it’s just our love
Found something real that’s out pf touch
but if you’d searched the whole wide world
would you dare to let it go?
‘Cause what about, what about Angels?
They will come, they will go, make us special
Don’t give me up
Don’t give…
Me up
‘Cause what about, what about angels?
They will come, they will go, make us special
It’s not […]
If I could just do it right now, it would be very little planning, as few “tools” as possible and I would REALLY enjoy feeling physically amazing just before starting.
I would want to do something quick, like a little slit of the wrists, thighs,and then carotid and jugular veins / arteries. Either that our I’d eat a bullet. Quick, precise, and thorough.
The only reason I can’t do it right
this moment is because I have so much shit to wrap up so that I know that I will be absolutely no more burden to anyone. , Plus, if I were to go […]
My mind won’t focus on anything but suicide. Everyday I envision the multiple easy ways I could end it. I don’t only think about them, I visualize them. Like mini hallucinations. I’m terrified of what my brain is doing to me. Should I check myself in somewhere?
Anyone who says suicide is a choice is full of shit. Suicide is a battle, one you only hope you’ll survive.
All advice is welcome, and yes, I’m medicated.
My desire and motivation have been very low for the past couple of years that I have been called “depressed.” I couldn’t go to college for more than a couple of weeks before I started skipping and realising that it was just like high school, where it seemed that the aspirations of everyone were to get drunk and make stupid decisions, which I had a difficult time understanding. (If they hated consciousness so much, why didn’t they commit suicide?) What is the point of living past high school anyways? I always liked learning, but that’s proving to be more trouble than it’s worth. With the […]
if you were reading me i’d be scared because then you’d really know how bad I get without you how bad I’ve been but I guess I enjoy the satisfaction that even if you read how crazy I was you’d at least find out how you were the only one who kept me sane for a little while. Sane is probably the wrong word HAPPY? HEALTHY? I don’t know lively to say the least. You see without you I see how filthy the world has become you were the best distraction you were the only good man my only good man. Oh how we talked […]
Some people think life is so easy.. so easy to take.. to live.. life is so fucking easy when you are speaking your own language… but what if I can’t hear it? What if I can’t see it?
Think positive?
Thinking positive isn’t the same as what some would think… A positive notion to me would be if I just so happened to not wake up tomorrow. It’s not that I can’t make my life better (which I probably can’t) it’s that I don’t want life. I hate life. People can’t understand that, and I’m so confused as to why everyone isn’t born with […]
For three years I’ve been depressed, as the doctors say. Last month I hit what felt like rock bottom. Still, I feel like I don’t deserve to talk about it here. I feel like I should be happy since everything comes so easy to me. I’m so angry with myself for purposely failing my tests and I just want to hurt myself for hurting everyone around me. I feel so guilty. I love my family and my friends and I’m only hurting them by feeling this way. The pain and emptiness inside is overwhelming, and only seems to be growing. I don’t know if I […]
Happiness. A word. I feel it at times, I feel a lack of it at others. I’m not always sure which one defines the word. I have been feeling as though happiness is making me feel empty lately. Maybe this isn’t happiness then. But why do I long for the hopelessness I fought so hard to escape from? Perhaps I never truly escaped. Perhaps this is just a masquerade of emotions to trick myself into living to fight another day.
Do I know who I am? Does anyone? Am I anyone? These are real questions for me. I have four distinct versions of myself. Family, girlfriend, […]
I don’t know how to. How do you just spill out the contents of a bottle that has been filling up for the past few years? The nightmare I’ve been so afraid of, is finally here.
It won’t be easy to pour out everything. I’ve gotten so used to storing this within me, it’s part of my life already. Oh how I wish I could tell you. But I don’t know how to. I suck. I really do. I am sorry.
The world can be changed in a fort night by a person with a strong conviction to do so.
where does one find the strength, i wonder, to be the arbiter of their own fate, and still find
the means nessacary to empart their brand of wisdom on humanity
I understand now that I never had a chance against these convicted people, because I
flock to folly, I just cant stand against the tide of human emotion,its all just to fucking much to feel.
I am a runaway in my own skin, I am making a concious and concerted effort to check out, I just […]
An 18 year old, senior in high school. She found a way to survive for 6 years and finally set herself free. The pain and anxiety got to her. The depression ate her alive from the outside in. The tears lay on her pillow case where she suffocated herself the night before. Her father, still the drunk he was before, still doesn’t realize that his screams actually got to her. He doesn’t understand that after every hit, it pushed her off the edge more. Her mother, still the druggie she always has been, doesn’t understand that it’s not easy having a parent that would rather […]