I just want to die today I’ve been hit with the most painful
Feelings, I can’t keep this up, I can’t keep feeling life is not going to get better. I would prefer to be dead. I can’t eat barely sleep, I’m so distressed I did yoga before and all I could think about was please let me end this. I’ve got no stability , no security, an addiction, one that won’t leave its grasps. I know the reason why I want to die is because of the addiction. But I have tried hundred of times to give up, I’ve been to countless rehabs , […]
No.
Hi. This is my first post on here, and I think that this would help me a lot, considering I’m feeling like a sealed time bomb. Call me Cyn. I’m a teen, but I’ve been through a lot. Lately, I’ve been feeling like nothing. I have the very popular, “things feel like they’re getting worse” and “I feel like my mind is being taken over.” I’m not okay. I don’t have anti depressants, I live off Advil. My mother hates me, and so do my aunts and my grandmother. My whole family hates me; on my mother’s side at least. My boyfriend is the only […]
I go running everyday, lift weights, and try and eat healthy because from what I’ve experienced nobody likes a fat fuck. Healthy body healthy mind I suppose. Effexor day 1 so good so far, noticed a slight increase in motivation and energy, could be a placebo effect I’m not sure but I definitely feel more content. The next few days are gonna suck balls thought ’cause no boooooooze :(. Glad I got benzos to help me get to sleep from this fucking stupid ass withdrawal.
Thought I’d take the effort to upload it to youtube, this song is just stunningly beautiful.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VwzTEq9CUGQ
Lyrics:
Call me crazy but maybe this seems a little movie like
This whole saying goodbye
This whole frozen in time thing
“Well it’s better to have loved..” I keep telling myself
Well anything is better than this
There comes a time when you realise
That it’s better to let go of a dove than watch it become the vulture
We pray that this won’t eat us up
To every chapter written be thankful it was a part of the book at all
There’s a lot of blood in the ink
There’s […]
We’ll eat our candies and grow our magic plants.
How about it, pal.
:*)
I feel awfully confused, overanalyzing every single move, thought that comes into my mind. A couple of weeks ago, I had my first anxiety attack which I think I’m recovering. I haven’t had any symptoms lately, I sleep well and eat when my body asks for food, it isn’t very hard waking up, I can concentrate, I tend to forget small things but I think I’m doing fairly well. But sometimes I don’t really know how I feel although there is a sense of emptiness. I often contemplate suicide and think that my life is not that bad, that I have been strong, that I […]
All around me the world is going insane, people getting bolder and indane.
Violence throughout with no discrimination, all people lost in oblivious conversation.
Society falls apart before our very eyes, and we fail to see through the silent lies.
Told through the pages of history, that have now become a lost majesty.
Bring us our daily bread, and then choke on the toxic lead.
That you feed us through a broken spoon, but then lead us to a lost tune.
I know this poem makes no sense, but neither does this world so tense.
Our world has reach peak insanity, yet there’s still yet another calamity.
There’s always enough room, for yet […]
I’m 23 years old still living at home with my mom. I have no goals or ambitions. Everyday I sleep, eat, work, repeat. I have no social life, never even had a girlfriend. I only have one friend and we’re drifting apart. Im suffering serious depression and anxiety everyday but have no one to talk to about it.
Sure it would hurt a couple people a lot if I killed myself but if this is all my life is, what’s the point? I’m existing for the sake of existing
We all gotta do something to raise our own confidence because the lack there of is purely our minds own doing. Some distract themselves, some eat, some play dress up and some crave attention.. well that last one is me. My confidence is in constant flux..always in tune one minute and gone the next minute. Sometimes I really give no shit that I do things purposely to gain attention. One thing my confidence never shatters is certainty in my physical appearance. I feel that I am half gone in my sanity but still a decent looking dude. So I’ve decided to sit pool side for […]
So I’m gonna share one of the reasons that tempted me to end my life (Read my last post). So, I’m not really close to my father. He always works overseas. And I always thought he was a good guy, working his hardest for us, for his family. Then when I was around 10 years old, I heard my mom and dad fighting, me and my sisters were downstairs, trying to eat our lunch peacefully when suddenly our mom screamed. She screamed at our dad, the kind of scream that breaks your voice, the kind of scream that was full of emotions. About 5 minutes […]
I currently weigh 150 pounds . I don’t eat some days just to get my weight down . And when I Â do eat I count the calories .. Does it have to be so hard ? I want to cut all the fat off my body … And see my bones and collarbones and my hips.. I don’t want my stomach to fold when I sit down.. Or people to call me fat any more. I don’t love my life, I don’t love my body, I don’t love myself… When are things gonna get better?
It’s funny how I ask to be normal. I wanna do normal shxt.
Like I wanna have a normal day. Get out of bed, shower, eat, go to work, come home and go to sleep. I can’t even do this.
My day is more like wake up crying [cause I wish I were dead] cry in the shower and don’t wanna eat. Call in because I’m too sad to work or go to work and cry. Then have insomnia all night.
Ppl take for granted the ability to have a simple day.
I’m keeping all these feelings locked up inside of me, and they are beginning to eat at my soul, inside I feel like my heart has turned into a black hole sucking every ounce of happiness I can manage to obtain. The smile I wear each day is as fake as each person that says they care for me. I’m looking to obtain eternal happiness, and the only way it seems like I’m going to get it is in death. Because in life you can’t depend on anyone else but yourself, but what happens when even you give up on yourself.?
I can keep it together for pretty long. Sunglasses on, hair down, blank fuckin stare.
Threw up “mop that shit up with your hair *****, i want you to get on your fucking knees and mop it up. You’re lucky i dont make you eat it.”
Lol. Call me a monkey, I love monkeys, im a ****, i love that word, very empowering.
Keep it together, don’t laugh, for gods sake don’t cry. I’ll be laughing when I’m selling my engagement ring. I’ll […]
Once there was a little pinhead who became infatuated with another little pinhead. The two pinheads pinned around together and produced five mini, pathetic pinheads. The pinheads lived from lousy paycheck to paycheck, their kids miserable, lady pinhead an anorexic crying mess half the time…
Finally daddy pinhead meets a sexy blonde library pinhead and they start pinning around secretly. Lady pinhead doesn’t like this. Not one bit. She quits her job, quits taking care of the little pinheads…
3/5 little pinheads end up in institutions for various reasons. Eventually lady pinhead takes her turn in the hospital, where they force her to eat little […]
I got close again to my ex and it’s clear as daylight can be when you go from the dark to the outside…she is my doom. I know what I can do to be okay. I simply do not like this life and find it boring… So I should shit on other people to be happy myself… So I need to lower my standards….
Side note… I know depression And cancer are caused by foods that we eat (stress also helps) and I wonder these rich companies… We’re they aware ? Or should we believe in their stories when the time comes that they get unmasked? […]
I have decided to go ahead with it. Today is day 1 of death by dehydration. I will go for a long run tomorrow and thursday to speed up the process and will only eat dry food.
Wish me luck, Ill post my progress day by day 😀 look for me in th news guys 😀
I have a sweet tooth.
Days can pass and I won’t be hungry, won’t eat, but the second someone offers me something sweet- or if I find it myself- the fast is broken; it can be an apple, a piece of candy, grapes, ice cream. Anything.
But why? Who cares?
The reason is old and sad (or pathetic, if that’s how you want to see it).
We’re not rich. We usually don’t have a lot of food.
When I was younger, we still didn’t have much to eat, but we rarely got anything sugary (or fruits, because parents just went and bought fast food for the starving masses).
…Or rather, life when depression is artificially suppressed by a drug called Abilify. It’s pretty good peeps. The weather here in the UK is freaking gorgeous at the moment. Not hot but so mild and balmy, cloudless sky, pollution in the high range here in London apparently but I can’t say I’ve really noticed.
I was getting out and mixing somewhat before, but always driven by desperation, need and fear of the alternative. Now I’m getting out coz I’m kind of excited to meet new peeps and do new things. Went to a local social meet up thing this afternoon, for peeps over 50 with a […]