Alone I sit,
Alone I think,
Alone I experience,
Alone I cry,
Alone I reach for the knife,
Alone I cut,
Alone I watch the blood,
Alone I feel the pain.
Alone I think about cutting deeper,
Alone I experience my sadness,
Alone I cry my eyes out,
Alone I reach for the knife,
Alone I cut my wrists just a tiny bit deeper,
Alone I feel the pain.
Alone I think about slicing pictures,
Alone I experience my emptiness,
Alone I cry for all I’ve lost,
Alone I reach for the knife,
Alone I cut nice drawings for all of those who want to […]
Tag:
Emptiness
When I look in the mirror, all that I can see is emptiness inside of me and I ask myself…
Who am I?
On the outside it seems to clear.. I am a daughter, a sister, a friend…but who am I?
Every morning when I awake, I tell myself it is time to put on a show..don’t want no one to know, what I feel when I am alone. I can’t let them see the tears I cry.. As keep all my fears hidden deep inside..
I tell myself; I do not know how much more I can take before this life I choose to forsake..
It seems to easy […]
i just want everything to stop.. come to an end i don’t care how, i just want it gone… i’m scared and all i feel is emptiness and sadness and i want it gone i hate pain, sadness and emptiness.
Hello.
There are a few background things you might want to know. Firstly, I’m a clinical psychopath. This doesn’t make me a killer or a psycho, although it is generally a daily struggle to keep from being either. To me, the world is black and white; there exists, for me at least, no shades of gray. My parents have known about my condition and have actually by and large done an excellent job of raising me. I come from a privileged family and have had everything I have needed provided for me, within reason. I’ve worked to secure that which would not be provided, namely the […]
I can’t seem to get myself to do the simplest things. I am wading through life fighting against this current that tells me it would be better if I just left this plane and stop wasting resources. I feel ashamed constantly and I can’t shake off this feeling that the future is hopeless. I am disoriented. I want to get better, I’ve done therapy, meds, drugs, and yet this heaviness, this emptiness still lingers. Even with some of the ups I’ve had this monster of a feeling is ready and waiting to take me back into the darkness.
I’m stuck between wanting to break free and […]
Isolation
Anxiety
Guilty
Yet Quiet
Pushing myself Slowly
………
Distractions
Still worried
Caring but
Really
Challenging
Missing
Emptiness
Lost
Frustrated
Sad
Reality I really do have too
Can’t go…
Near…
Supposed to move forward plus…
Others are happy.
Its like…
I never existed ever…
I always understood the fact where everyone always moves forward,
Abandoning others
I try so hard not to abandon other people though…
Even if i am mad,
Pissed off after we make up we still say hi and have a conversation but this time…
It will never happen.
That guilt and regret feeling.
It conqures more and more…
Each and every day again.
but at least I am starting to forget.
Starting to be self again.
Isolated
Alone
Quiet
Calm
I’m a hobbiest now.
Try something new
I will never be a princess
I shall not fall as quickly
I was a hopeless romantic
Just […]
Life is just luck of the draw
I wish I was luckier. Life has been going down hill for such a long time, and honestly I’m not sure I can endure.
I’m growing so tired, even my health is declining. I feel so sick, and I’m only 18
Life doesn’t seem to hopeful, and its not just because I’m young,
everything in this world is controlled by might, by power, and I, have no power
Sure, everything is in the mind, illusion and manipulation, but honestly I’m so tired
This world is full of the mindless, the uncaring and ignorant
So many horrible things are […]
Song I’m listening to right now.
I’ve done alot since my last post. I’m being usually creative. My friends are wowed and my parents are impressed. I’m not. It won’t matter in a few years anyway. No matter how many photos I snap or how hard I work the garden, how many times I do simple things to make my and others lives better I’m still unhappy. Even though a smile is weakly plastered on my face. I’m pushing myself to the limits before I die.
No matter if a happy event comes to me or not I will say this. That fear has […]
Hello.
This is my note. This is the only place my note will ever be, because I’m too much of a coward to actually go through with this.
I’m nothing, I mean nothing to myself. I would really rather disappear into nothing. Scatter myself into a thousand and one atoms, floating peacefully in space. Instead I’m stuck here, in this colourless hell. The only person i can talk to won’t listen, I can’t tell her anyway. I love her too much to let her bear this.
Anyway, my name is Sian. I’m nearly sixteen, I have blonde hair and brown eyes. I’m a dancer, that’s how I define […]
Well im only 15, about to start 10th grade next months. To be honest feel like im about to start hell. Having to see the same faces i’ve seen for the past years. I really feel like giving up now. Im so worthless. Really. And im sure no one would really be hurt if i was gone. Most of my friends turned their back on me. Ive always been an insecure little shit. And today i realized im really a big hypocrate. A pathetic brat. im just so mad at myself…… I’ve always hurt the people around me, everyone really. Im sure there isnt even […]
I’ve been reading things that I wrote about two and half years ago when I found :
Deep inside a darkness resides, a black hole of nothingness.
An emptiness that sucks the life force out of you.
A void that whispers: “You are tired of living, give up!â€.
The pit of endless sorrow threatens you at every fall.
And now, when I stare into the abyss within…
It stares back at me with its cruel vicious eyes.
It’s funny to see how nothing has changed during this time…
iv had a lot of thing happen to me in my life but the one thing that iv learned is that the people and things that are closest to you are the things that can hurt you
the most.
just recently i left my dad (im 16 by the way), my parents are divorced and every since iv felt like an empty shell, not because they are divorced but because they
are such different people.
all i want is to be normal, to get good exam results and go to a good college and get a good job, but i cant, i cant because i […]
I don’t particularly like this. Idk. It’s a little weird for me. It’s meant to be more of a story then a poem. I think it’s a bit shallow and self-involved. Tell me what you think.
Once upon a time there was a girl
There were many girls, but this girl had a head full of words
There were many words, but these words were full of her sadness
This girl was full of sad stories made of sad words
Once upon a time she was strong
She was full of strength, because she was strong to fight the pain
She was full of pain, a pain […]
I’m 22 years old and In a relationship with a fantastic guy who loves me. I have relatively supportive parents and a huge network of friends. I just graduated college at the top of my class and I have “goals” for the future. I have an incredible summer planned: travel, adventure, Burning Man..
My life is nothing short of amazing.
Then why do I want to throw it all away? Why do I contemplate suicide everyday?
My feelings of inadequacy only grow the more I try to perfect myself. I try to let go of my eating disorder and allow myself to gain a […]
Emptiness,
I welcome you home with open arms and back into the ravines of my heart.
The one composed from archives of incisions and hallucinated lullabies
I am left dreaming of infinite sleep, humming softly words from a dead mockingbird.
I do not believe that I will live to see the next year. I have no exact date yet to fulfill my plan, but I do not believe that I can carry on much long. I still have many things to do, to make things as painless as possible for my dearest ones. There so much to do, but in the end I’ll be at peace.
For years I’ve been handling this feelings, but nowadays I mostly feel emptiness. I’ve been tired too long to carry on anymore for long, and I’m sorry for that. I’m just too tired and empty. I just hope that they […]
3 of my closest friends left me, because all of a sudden my drinking and smoking and cutting is ruining their lives. So now, because I won’t give those things up because I fucking can’t, they’re not talking to me anymore. nd now I have legit 3 female friends, one of which I don’t even like that much, and my boys. I know pretty soon that the boys will be all I’ve got. But those girls I trusted with my everything, and all of them fucked me over. If the people I trusted most in the world can leave me for something as stupid as […]
I’m freaking out. I want something to wake me up. I want somebody to notice my lies. I want somebody to realize that I’m destroying myself. I want people to realize that I’m not okay.
I want to stop lying to myself. I want to stop thinking that it’s not okay to feel. I want to be able to cry and not feel like an ungrateful ****, because sometimes I don’t want to exist.
I want to remember what it is to be happy. I want to be able to smile and not those half-assed smiles that make me hate myself, because I know it isn’t real. […]
Society is a fucking useless term. We are not human, what kind of human is set out to make other people feel more in hell? There is already an empty pit inside, already that void… feeling of despair and emptiness.. So why the hell would anyone go into someones life… and try to ruin any salvation they have for hope? My mind is already hell enough, please stop adding things for it to over-process. I don’t need this, this is one reason I’m in the darkest places of my mind… Why would you try to take away the one little ember left, the one that may […]
Today I burried love. I dont think the statment needs an explaination, anyone who has truely loved and lost must know how It feels. For those who don’t imagine choking and trying to breathe yet your unable to, one must not confuse it with physical pain but the emotional pain which one is unable to overcome. But the post today isn’t really about explainations, this time i dont need them… burrying love doesnt have a justification, or an explaination.
This post is about questioning how must one go on, I mean what do i do now that the future seems to be becoming my past, tomorrow it will […]