Well im only 15, about to start 10th grade next months. To be honest feel like im about to start hell. Having to see the same faces i’ve seen for the past years. I really feel like giving up now. Im so worthless. Really. And im sure no one would really be hurt if i was gone. Most of my friends turned their back on me. Ive always been an insecure little shit. And today i realized im really a big hypocrate. A pathetic brat. im just so mad at myself…… I’ve always hurt the people around me, everyone really. Im sure there isnt even one person i havent hurt. Ive always trown away all my relashionships. Ive never loved anyone like i loved this one guy. He gave everything for me..literraly everything. But i gave up on myself,on him ..he really didnt deserve that. I always push people away, with my quietness & awkwarkness. Ive always been the worthless fucking child, for having to need therapy my mother has hated me for that, even my mother ive hurt. Once we had a big argument and i told her she would be better without me that maybe if i died shed be happy. She chose her bf over me and she has treated me like a total shit, she’s made me believe things i never in my life though i would ever even think of..i can really hate myself. For hurting all the people i love and for not appreciating the love they give me. My suicide thoughts are growing in mind ….im not sure if i’ll be here anymore..
share your suicide story
Report Post
Please log in to report posts
5 comments
http://suicideproject.org/2012/07/so-you-want-to-die-think-theres-no-hope-and-you-have-nothing-to-live-for-read-this-email-me-if-you-think-differently-or-just-talk-to-me-because-i-care-wether-you-believe-it-or-not/
btw this post doesnt go to your mom since i understand things are rough :/ But talk to me and we don’t have to talk , i can just be here for you
Thank you, and sorry for the late reply. And i’ll talk to you. It would really help me to talk to someone when i get like that..i’ll be here too if you ever feel like talking to someone. <3
Empty….. kinda “numb”.
A lot of people talk about the pain. You sound more like me – NOT in ‘pain’. More like not feeling anything. Not good or bad. Sure there may be an instant here or there where a laugh sneeks through. But generally you just breathe. No joy, no happiness, no idea why the fuck we are here and why we bother ever even getting out of bed.
Am I right or just totally off base???
If you can relate to what I am saying – then give me a shout GBGUY1970@yahoo.com
I will listen. If you WANT – I will give advise. NO JUDGEMENT from me…..
I hope you choose to write.
Im really sorry i barely replyed today, i didnt see the comments. And well thank you..for trying to be there. I usually come and write my thoughts when im really getting to the point..you know..& well if you ever want to talk im here too. I dont really use my email thought >.< but here. Z.marisol64@yahoo.com