You know what? I’m not feeling suicidal, I don’t feel like cutting. I just feel empty. There’s just a huge empty hole that’s inside me and it’s leaving me very uncertain. My parents want me to think about life, especially since this is my senior year, but they don’t understand that I don’t see myself living after I turn 18. Let me explain: I don’t mean that I’m gonna commit suicide, or anything like that, it’s just I can’t see myself in the future after 18. I can’t imagine going to college, traveling the world, having kids, getting married. I know that normal people can […]
Tag:
empty
I don’t know your thoughts these days.
We’re strangers in an empty space.
I don’t understand your heart,
It’s easier to be apart.
Do you ever feel so empty you don’t know what to do with yourself? Do you ever feel that whenever you try to cheer yourself up, you never can succeed? Do you ever feel like your such a disappointment to the world, because you never can do anything right? Ever feel that you’re not really needed to anyone? Ever feel that you will never find friendship, love, or a true meaning in life? Yeah, this is me. Anyone else?
Haven’t posted in sometime, sorry people.
3 failed over dose attempts, i tried again last night,
just feel so empty and lost,
without my only support (my nan)
who passed away about a year ago
now the time is nearing and its getting me down
having arguments with people whom i care about just adds to the pile of crap which seems to be my life.
I feel numb from my head to my toes. It hurts to breath, to wake up every morning and realize I’m still alive. I’m sad or maybe even just a little bit depressed. I cant want to stand but I don’t know how much more I can take….
My friends try to cheer me up, but sometimes… It just isn’t enough. After all
“Happiness is fleeting.”
I honestly don’t know what to do anymore… I don’t know why I’m still breathing….
I try so hard to improve but then I always end up failing… I can never stop being a failure, a stupid wide eyed disappointment…
I […]
Loneliness aches… and has slowly, over time chipped away at me. Now I find myself here, maybe just out of curiosity, or maybe just desperation. There are many people worse off than myself, many in this very community, but right now, from my narrow, blinkered and selfish viewpoint; I’ve never been lower, lonelier, sadder or felt so forgettable. I was passionate about things once upon a time, now I’m just cold, bitter, heartless, and full of deep disappointment by how this life has played out. Yet I let this life turn this way, I watched everyone leave, while I stubbornly stayed with my thoughts focused […]
I looked into a moisture covered mirror, saw a empty reflection of me. I was bothered, I was aware, I was committed. I was not going to wake up from this one. Fabric in hand, slip knot created, over my head and around my neck. Firmly in place, other end put over the door edge, I was in the right place, I was going to watch myself in the mirror slowly hang myself to the end. Red to purple face, veins projecting strongly, eyes growing larger and redder, oxygen depleting, knees weakening. F this, something is keeping me from completing. Another attempt, another failure…Still I […]
I have always tried to mean something to someone, but in the end I end up meaning nothing to everyone. I started to notice that I’m like the “backup” friend. The one who is always ignored except when someone needs a favor. The one who doesn’t exist except when someone needs help. The worst part is that I do it expecting something more than a simple “thank you”.
It’s not the first time I’ve felt like this, but I can’t get over it. When I help someone, I exist for somebody for just a few moments. I guess that’s why I keep doing it. But it’s […]
Damn it, here I am again. Tired of life and everyone in it. Just took a walk to the highway. Kind of empty this time of night. Sort of like me. Anyway, I guess I am living for another day. Living on borrowed time.
Several years ago, I made a pact with myself that I would hold on for the sake of people who had cared enough to get me out of a bad situation. I told myself to focus on school, and that by the time I graduated, I may have started wanting to live again. The issue is, I’m looking at finishing soon, and I was with these people today. I know no matter what happens I will never completely regain my what’s left of my mind, and I tried to prevent hurting the few people I care about, but I just got the feeling, not for […]
I’m quite isolated from other people my age; I’m shy and feel uncomfortable around other people quite easily. I never go out and do things with friends. I have casual friends who i talk to at school, I have no real “good” friends who i regularly see out of school.
I used to get depressed quite a lot, mostly last year though. I haven’t really felt depressed in two almost two months now, though suicidal thoughts are a constant threat.
I am almost finished school, and I catch up with friends most days. But once I get home or they leave, I just feel empty. […]
I lay in bed feeling lonely…my days go by feeling lonely…I’m surrounded my people that ‘care’ for me and ‘love’ me- yet I still feel lonely…I’ve just realised how fast years go by when you feel empty.
I have so much to give and I try so hard yet no one shows as much back! As hard as I try it’s never good enough, never a nice word of encouragement but words of hurt and degradation are out on me. I try and try…but nothing- it’s all loneliness, emptiness and worthless!
That time will come when I’ve had enough and I end all the pain and suffering! […]
You know the feeling when you get dumped for the first time. That feeling you get where your heart and your head are in a vice and your on the edge all the time between crying. That’s how I feel all the time.
I’m years old 27, and I don’t have any clear path yet in mind. I have a job where I can work and maintain an apartment but besides that my life is empty, I wouldn’t say empty so much as void. I think of fight club a lot the part where he says everything is just a copy of a copy of a […]
Everyone stares at me, i can’t breath. put on a smiling face but nothing is real, i feel hollow and empty everyday. I dont know if i can take this lie anymore.
When i was 13 i was raped, i dropped out after that.
nobody knows why i stopped going to school… the depression just got to be too much. i tried to kill myself and thats when my mother stopped pestering me everyday about getting on the bus, then this year… i thought my life got better. my depression wasnt so bad, so i tried to get back in school, they gave me the option to […]
I miss myself.
Why are you lost?
Reaching out, touching empty souls.
The wind blows, takes you away.
Close your eyes. Listen. Wait.
Feeling sleepy,
PURPLEPAIN
A few days ago I wrote an update. I wrote about how much better I was doing. How much happier I was…
Why is it that one little thing can cause me to go spiralling back into what I was before? I don’t want to go back. I don’t want to be that person again. I don’t want to lose any more friends. I don’t want to live every day in pain. I just want to be me.
My parents split up almost two years ago. Some would say that alone is traumatising, but I was surprisingly okay with it. It was for the best at the […]
Frozen moments down the drain,
Ive been bitten by their mark.
Their coldness seeps into my veins
And crack my sullen heart.
Distorted by the raining wet,
An endless shroud of filmy grey,
I only see your silhouette
Stretched into the night then day.
My heart’s a bowl of tarnished tears
Carved by ceaseless thoughts of you,
worn ragged by the endless years
Of suffocating, singing blues.
I drink so memories decay,
to waste away’s my only duty.
so that my minds in disarray
Into an abyss of nightmarish beauty.
A rainbow made of rusty marrow
Ebbs into the dusk so dim,
Leaving a rainy arc so narrow
Of […]
have you ever had that one fear that you couldn’t get rid of and it keeps eating away at u until finally there is nothing left of u, nothing but an empty shell? it sucks. it really does. or when u say ur fine but deep down inside u know ur not. and that soon something is going to put u over the edge. and ur gone. u enter the void.
You are a weak soul and bring no happiness. You live your life, eat, sleep, talk, yet your life is in vain because you give no love. You are empty. Just kill yourself.
[what others tell me]
It’s been 18 years.
I’m 18 year old female, a senior in highschool. I’m good looking, creative, intelligent and easy to get along with. But within me lies an everlasting, deep internal conflict, loneliness, and a very broken heart. I have no family, no friends and I just recently lost my lover. I have been framed and spent a year on probation for it, my parents have taken me to court several times (they’re so insensitive they treat family matters like business), I’ve never had somebody I could call up and talk to. I’ve had friends several times before. But all of them, usually in […]