if i don’t graduate my life will be over. i one hundred percent will have to end it. i don’t want that. i want a life so badly. i want to graduate, i want a job. these two classes are making it impossible, and so is he more than anything. i’ve lost. i really have. if he keeps harassing me, i lose. if he disappears, i lose. i can’t focus. there isn’t a day that goes by that i don’t cry and cry and cry. every person I’m around really doesn’t want to be around me because all i do is complain and get angry […]
I can’t take it anymore I really wanna kill myself but can’t get the courage to do it…. I cut myself sometimes and I’ve been huffing Lysol so I don’t have thk think about things but now I’m really at my lowest and just wanna end it. I’m going to hang myself but need to get the courage cuss I’m a lil *****.
over the past few months I’ve pretty much realized and accepted the failure that I am and that feeling inside me doesn’t go away. I’m sick and tired of it and each time all the expectations that are brought infront of me by my parents make me realize even more of the enormity of how badly I’m failing them. it kills me inside and each time I get these supposed wake up calls it makes me so angry inside and I cut myself and keep moving the blade over and over my first cut. I let the blood flow, see the trail and ponder over the […]
I just have to let off some steam. I know its not a proper post but hey. I have a mother, her name is Liz. She has single handedly ruined my entire life! I know were told to forgive but not in this case. She has stolen everything from me! So, MOM, I HATE YOU AND ALWAYS WILL!! In fact, you dont deserve the title of being a mother. I HATE YOU, YOU EVIL HUMAN BEING!! I will end up dead because of you and you wont mourn my death, not even for a second.
I am still here…I am trying…trying to live.
I’ve had so many opportunities these past couple months to end it, but I keep dragging my feet. Not hanging on for things to get better, I’m not that naive. But the finality of the whole thing makes me apprehensive. I’m the one that’ll be successful on the first try, I’m aware of this.
With the clock ticking, I wish I would’ve done it sooner. The longer I wait, the more I cringe that I’m still here.
Fuck, mornings are the worst. Opening my eyes and realizing I didn’t try the night before. Then the long days that lead into night….the pattern has gone on long […]
So I ruined it again….
I was doing so well….
Over a month without one single razor blade piercing my skin and tonight, out of all the nights, I started again.
I really wish this would just end.
I know it helps me feel better, but this is ridiculous.
This wasn’t your average cut either.
I carved a word into my leg…
And now it will most likely scar and be on my body for the rest of my life.
Good one.
I applaud you…NOT!
Twinkle twinkle little star
please let me get hit by this car .
How I really want to die
jump off the roof and try to fly.
Twinkle twinkle little knife,
help me end my wretched life.
I think we all have those things in our heads that just won’t leave. An example of this would be the saying “Nothing lasts forever”. Because of this, I am incapable of commitment. If someone tells me that they’re here for me, i still can’t trust them because they won’t be here for me forever. They will move on like everyone else. It’s the same with relationships. They end. So what’s the point. Itll just end in heartbreak so why the fuck would it matter.
I also can’t seem to shake the thought that everyone is capable of pretending. Pretending to be my friend. Pretending to […]
“Imagine a happy group of morons who are engaged in work. 
They are carrying bricks in an open field. 
As soon as they have stacked all the bricks at one end of the field,
they proceed to transport them to the opposite end. 
This continues without stop and every day of every year
they are busy doing the same thing.
One day one of the morons stops long enough
to ask himself what he is doing. 
He wonders what purpose there is in carrying the bricks. 
And from that instant on he is not quite as content 
with his occupation as he had been before. 
I am the moron […]
I have an innate desire to die. It is ingrained in my every thought. I feel as though I have no reason to live. I’ve suffered from depression for ten years and I’m tired that it never goes away. Through medication and therapy there is no cure. Life is meaningless. Time passes and I go through the motions. There is nothing left but to sit and wait. Trying to convince myself that things will get better or looking forward to things that don’t matter. Am I not just creating an illusion to give me a reason to keep going? Â Once that goal has passed it […]
I hate it when someone who was previously “suicidal” says that suicide is selfish. Because, if you’ve ever been in that mindset, then you know that it isn’t selfish. You can’t just forget wanting to end your life. It’s preserved forever in your mind. No, you don’t just forget that feeling. And why would anyone say that anyway? Why would you ever insult someone who is at this point? You would never tell someone with cancer anything like that. Why is there so much negative stigma surrounding this?
You know how, when you actually do sleep, you end up sleeping on your arm? You know that feeling when you wake up, like the arm isn’t there, but you know it is? Well, I no longer hurt…I’m just that “dead-arm”.
I don’t really understand the point of this site. I am not being shitty or anything like that….just wondering how all of this works?? I NEED help in finding some easy way of getting “the job” done without ANY chance of survival and in hopes of finding answers since I posted early yesterday I only had 2 comments and they were to help me as in “I am here for you” and that type of thing. Thanks, but no thanks….I just am going crazy here wracking my brain and nobody understands that I WANT an END/ just an END that is all!!!! Why do I […]
It’s always on my mind to end my life.. I was in a really bad accident that caused permanent brain damage.. I can not remember many things now.. I know my daughters bday is Halloween but I have to do the math to know what year she was born. I suffer from horrible pain.. Migraine headaches, throw up blood, I use to be able to do so much now I can hardly do anything 🙁 Life without health is no life at all.. I tried to end my life I took 80 Xanax & every other medication I can get my hands on. I woke up […]
I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that’s real
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything
What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away
In the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
I wear this crown of thorns
Upon my liar’s chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappear
You are someone else
I am still right […]
Long story short.
My wife left me. lost all my possessions ,car , dogs etc. ended up going to jail after a argument with father in law. now on probation living on a couch stuck with 9000.00 in fines etc. jobless can’t find a job now that I’m a felon. Facing a violation for not paying cause I have no money. I was on meds for severe depression but have none now. I’ve tried once to end it already while I was locked up. I’m just tired why keep going it just gets worse. I don’t even remember what its like to be happy.
Edit
We were married […]
Our bodies have been made to be durable.
Our souls/mental psych(or whatever), just weren’t made to the same standard.
So we end up living in hollow shells because our bodies made it through the onslaught,
while we died.
Have you ever felt like you were surrounded by darkness? A darkness so deep and pain so real that you just want it all to end? Have you ever felt like the world would be a better place without you in it? How about that you are so worthless that if people really knew who you were they would hate you as much as you hate yourself? Do you have a plan to end your life? Have you given up all hope? I have! Depression is real and the pain is intense, but there is hope —  Watch “Story 2013” on YouTube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CNbKbMIjLvU
i can never understand why society is that way it is. My mom treats me like she doesn’t even care, im certain by now that i’m just a waste of space. My dad left when i was born but came back a couple years later only to just beat me and yell at me, my brothers and my mom. I struggle in school because i’m bisexual, im supposedly going to burn in hell. No one gives me a chance to get to know me, just one look and it’s obvious  i’m an outcast. I don’t want to fit in with society. I’m not gonna live […]