Hello,
I just recently came across this site as I was in a broken state. I’ve taken hundreds of online depression quizzes and all seem to say the same thing…that I am severely depressed. Every time I bring up being tested to my mom, she makes it seem like it’s a big joke and laughs. It has never once got through to her that maybe something is wrong with me. People talk about me, “friends” don’t want to hang around me, my mother claims im a long list of words such as: ugly, fat, a pig, stupid, attention seeker, drama, dumb ass, retarded….. the […]
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everything
I just want to run away and leave everything behind, everything is all so boring here and I’m wasting me life here.
I’m only 15 so I have to wait like three years and then I can finally leave this place.
I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. I keep searching for my purpose and for something…anything that can make me forget everything. Sometimes like a couple of days ago, yesterday, today… I wish there was a little pill that can erase all my memories. I want to wake up a new and different person and see life and see the world with a different perspective because i can’t do it on my own. I’m more than damaged, I’m half dead.
I’ve been depressed since I was 7. I’m tired of always being tired, and sad, and depressed, and feeling shitty about myself, my life, just everything. I’m just a giant black ball of darkness… I’m tired of being tormented, of always being in pain. I wish I was “normal” and had a “normal” life and felt happy good feelings, instead of feeling like I’m dying all the time…
Over the weekend I think I finally hit rock bottom. I tried so desperately to get an answer or reasons for things that have been completely out of my control. I learned the hard way to just let things go.
I saw our love as perfect and honest. He saw it as suffocating and disgusting. He felt chocked by me; hopelessly controled by me, to the point where he claims that all of it made him sick.
It hurts when the person you once loved more than anything views you as this selfish and insane creature. This miserable being that all she wants is to […]
Ever since I can remember I’ve been blamed for everything I hate it because now every time something goes wrong I blame myself and feel like a damn burden growing up my parents worked more than they spent time with me or my brother I bottled everything inside I feel lonely all the time even when I’m around family or “friends” the thoughts of suicide get stronger I fear that one day even the thought of my 2 kids won’t save me I regret not putting a bullet in my head 10 years ago
I can’t afford to pause my life, not now. Even though I feel the fight dying inside me and passion becoming a confused hot mess. Everything keeps turning to shit no matter how hard I work or what I do. I feel like I’m continuously this toxic poison that everyone is forced to live with. They all suffer because of me. All the stresses of my life bleed into theirs, and it’s not fair. I’m far from happy, beyond stressed, just plain frustrated. I don’t know who else to talk to, I can’t handle this by myself but do not want to feel like such […]
My friend that was visiting left yesterday. Now I’m alone and I don’t know how to adjust. I feel like my ex-fiance is supposed to be here, with me- I miss our life. It feels unreal. It feels empty. I used to have someone I could share everything with. Now I’m just alone; there’s nobody to care about me like she did/does, to be there to comfort me every time I cry, to share even the mundane parts of life.
I don’t think I’ve ever felt such painful sadness despite being depressed for a decade and other painful events. Of course, maybe that’s just proximity bias. […]
I’m killing myself before I go back to school. How? I don’t know. I just know I am. Everything is just adding up to being a crappy year. I’ve had so little to hold onto. Depression has hit me like a semi truck, anxiety the wheels that ran me over. School is terrible, I pushed my friends away, my ex gf got cancer, and to top it off, we were supposed to go on a skype date but she fell in love with someone else. So yeah. I have nothing. No will to live.
To my friends: no. This was not your fault. Many of you […]
Everyone often asks who the worst person to lose is. The answers vary, mostly dependent on your age. Usually it’s either a family member. Your mum, or dad, or some other person of blood relation. As you get older it would change to maybe a friend. And then to a significant other. Those are the three answers everyone gives. But I think the worst person to lose is yourself. You are the only one who truly knows yourself, you know everything, the ins and outs. What makes you tick, what the only thing is that can make you happy sometimes. You control who knows what […]
I am so tired of life… for 3 years now i have been suffering from depression, My family wont help me and I cant trust anyone, I have tried to kill myself before by trying to suffocate myself didn’t work as i panicked, but i think i will try the suicide bag method as this seems to be the best i have been researching it, and i think i will go ahead with my plans as soon as i get a hold of everything i need.
Is any one awake ? Can’t sleep?
I can’t find a stable feelings, I’m all over the place, I don’t have a desire to do anything I love any more,everything so bleak, I try to express myself maybe to help ease some aniexty,or escape from me… so I’m here constantly trying to think of what to say, to myself ..to you. When I try to reply to your post I’ll sit and try to relate in words, be supportive something to make a connect, but ill either draw a blank or start writing a paragraph and end up deleting anyway…I just can’t accept myself, neither can […]
So I woke up in one of my moods again. I feel alone when I wake up, but I said I was going to make a difference so I’m not going to let my bad mood get the best of me. I think I’m getting alittle better besides from the mood swings, do any of y’all know if mood swings are from depression? I don’t really understand why I wake up in bad moods I go to sleep in a good one and then I’m just like fuck everything. But anyways can someone help me out and tell me what I can do about these […]
I’m left wondering how genuine these posts are. everyone on the suicideproject is run by their emotions (myself included), and I’m wondering how a depressed man/woman can think clearly enough to type as much as everyone here has, or if everything here is typed simply out of angst, rendering it all meaningless.
Protected: How come I know everything and you don’t even know few things ?
by daitya1989
written by daitya1989
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
Does anyone here know the feeling of being so calmed (with no reason) after being so so sad?
It is like being ok about all the shit. It kinda scares me (not really, but in a way) because I feel really capable of ending up everything but I do not want to hurt anyone, I do not want to make them sad.
I don’t know what to do. I’m numb.
Son of a *****. I’m at it again, having a breakdown where no one will find me. I’m so tired, so tired (SO GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING TIRED), of not being happy. I want to be able to be content with myself. I never tell anyone I know of these breakdowns and how severe they can get because I don’t want them to think less of me. But I’m exhausted from keeping it in. I just want a hug, a soul crushing, tear gushing hug. I want to feel loved wholly, for my depression and everything else. I don’t want to hide, but I shall continue to do […]
Hi, my name is Angelica Cuenca. I’m 17years old and I’ve been living with depression for about 6 years now. It’s started after I lost my best friend which is my mom from cancer. I stop believing in God because he was supposed to be the good but he took someone that I loved the most, someone that I could talk to no matter what. A week or so my sisters and I went to live with my mom’s parents which are my grandparents. I never wanted to lived with them but I had no choice my father was not fit to take care of […]
I’m sick of my sickness, don’t touch me, you’ll get this
I’m useless, lazy, perverted, and you hate me
Am I alone in finding a way to blame myself for every single problem, no matter how trivial? Honestly, everything is my fault. I’m sorry. Trust me, the guilt is like gravity to me.
She is perfect, and I imperfect. Things are as they should be.
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.