Tag:

everything

Help

by jrmeador94 9/12/2014

written by jrmeador94

I keep making the same mistake. I keep looking for intimacy in random hook ups, like it’s the spark of life, but it’s hurting me. I’m putting my body through abuse, and my friends are scared of me. They don’t understand why I’m doing it and they keep away from me. I’ve been with so many girls and guys, broken my heart over and over, and I’ve swallowed so many pills but can’t die.

For 10 years it’s been an endless cycle of pain and numbing that pain. It’s maddening. I want to get out. I want to have friends. Get a girlfriend. Be happy where […]

9/12/2014 3 comments

I hate everything

by The sad kid 9/12/2014

written by The sad kid

I cut myself and I do it cuz I think it would make me feel better…my girlfriend told me yesterday that she didn’t love me and that I was wasting my time with her…and that its over…i loved her so much that I would have died for her as much as her best friend…her best friend was cutting her self too…and now I finally understand y… Her best friend said she would die for me and I thought that their is only three people who care about me and my ex girlfriend is not one of them…my family doesn’t love me…they all hate me and […]

9/12/2014 0 comment

by LetItGo 9/11/2014

written by LetItGo

a few weeks ago
i got into a fight with my sister

it was about telling my friends everything
and how supposedly that was super rude

and one time a friend called me
when i was at a family cabin thing

i went off and talked to her
she was in pain

i talked to her
i comforted her

then my sister said we were leaving
i didn’t hang up on my friend

I cared
i still care about her
and i couldn’t do that to her

when we got into the fight
she said it was rude to talk to my friend

i said that i cared about her so why not

9/11/2014 0 comment

they can fuck themselves

by Honey_bee00 9/11/2014

written by Honey_bee00

my family is the reason why i just wanna disappear from the world.
they aren’t nothing but stupid selfish ass people, who could care less about you!
they fuck everything up. i can’t stand to be around them. they ruined my life pretty much

9/11/2014 4 comments

Can anyone tell me why?

by overit20 9/11/2014

written by overit20

After my divorce and being emotionally beaten down on a daily basis, I met this wonderful guy online. Things moved fast he moved in after only a couple weeks. He always had pool or guys game night and would leave his daughter with me but he always came home. I believed everything he told me….three months later he left and moved right in with this other chick. We had our huge blow up and then started sleeping together again. It’s been almost two years now and he”dates” people and even lives with them but is always hanging out with me because I claim I’m fine […]

9/11/2014 7 comments

by HereticBlood 9/10/2014

written by HereticBlood

So I finally did it… I finally somehow gathered the courage after almost 10 yrs of torture to make a dr appointment and attempt to somehow see if I’m “fixable”… I’m so afraid. I’m not sure if I have the courage to keep the appointment. My brain keeps spinning telling me thinks like “you’re not worth the help.” “You’re too far gone for anyone to save you” “you don’t deserve to be fixed” .. Then it’s like “maybe you should just say fuck it and try” so I think well maybe I should.. Then I think well maybe if I just answer their questions to […]

9/10/2014 7 comments

Psychotic Tossing and Turning

by TwistedSpace 9/10/2014

written by TwistedSpace

I can’t sleep. My Grandmother makes it sound so simple. “How can’t you sleep? Turn everything off and lay down!” Gee, thanks Gran, haven’t tried that one before! She means well, though. So I listen to her long enough for her to feel comfortable enough to leave me alone before I resume doing whatever it was I was up to before she entered my room.

I’m a schizophrenic. People avoid me when they find out about it, they think I’m so crazy. They’re usually the people I’d avoid anyway – the people who barely know you but pretend they do based on the rumors they hear […]

9/10/2014 7 comments

Changing quickly

by SOrmerod 9/9/2014

written by SOrmerod

Okay, in the past week I’ve run the full spectrum of emotions. From depression, to anxiety, to straight out mania. Right now I’m manic. While I’d rather be manic than depressed. However, rather than those I would rather just feel like myself. Quiet, introverted, shy, but still secure in myself enough to know my worth. Right now I’m everything but that. Excitable, fidgety, talkative, basically sprung as though I’m about to run a 10k. Don’t like this. It’s a trap! I’m telling myself I’m more productive in this state but that’s just a lie. In actuality, nothing gets finished. Everything is left half complete, which […]

9/9/2014 1 comment

I’m really done this time

by lovemyshihtzu 9/9/2014

written by lovemyshihtzu

gotta wait for my package then after Saturday four days off so shouldn’t have interruptions unless my stupid parents decide to send me to the stupid hospital. then i have to wait a few weeks till my dad goes in vacation I’ll use his garage. I hate ryans stupid dad he took away the one thing I had that ever made me happy and brain washed him and made him crazy. the only thing I have are my cats and I can’t even take care of them because I’m crazy. I’m stuck here all alone because his stupid dad took him from me I have […]

9/9/2014 20 comments

the pain wont stop coming back

by infectedpooks 9/9/2014

written by infectedpooks

i kept myself extremely busy and productive today to take my mind off of everything. it worked pretty well too. i went to my college and attended my two classes for today. i got a lot of homework done for my courses, took care of the remaining things for financial aid, etc. i felt like i accomplished a lot today, i was even a little proud of myself, until night time arrived….

whats the point of any of it? why am i still trying? im absolutely miserable with myself. the only person who could make this better is the person who shattered my fucking heart. i […]

9/9/2014 2 comments

What if it doesn’t get better?

by phylu 9/8/2014

written by phylu

Hey. This is my first post ever. I don’t really know how to put my situation into words so I’ll just type and see what comes out.

I have been battling depression for about 10 years now with several highs and lows. I had my first suicidal thoughts when I was 11. I felt useless and lonely although I had a few friends that I loved and a nice family. But I felt so out of place and like all I did was wrong. I started to hate myself and my self-esteem crumbled. I was able to hide it until I was 17 but then I […]

9/8/2014 3 comments

I’m a fuck up i bet

by lovemyshihtzu 9/8/2014

written by lovemyshihtzu

I don’t know anything nothing I feel so fucking crazy and out of control i don’t know what happened the other night I chain smoked three black and mild I’ve never chain smoked before my whole body’s been shaking for three days something’s wrong with my cats Elmo is starting to go bald on his back and it scares me they have vet appointment Friday i have no friends I’m scared for Ryan I probably ruin everything like I always do I don’t know what to think I’ve never never had anxiety before until he first left my first anxiety attack scared me and i […]

9/8/2014 4 comments

Pointless

by devilsreject 9/7/2014

written by devilsreject

Cant take this anymore.
Im no longer alive, i simpley exist
Cant remember the last time i saw sense in something
Everything just seems like its not worth it
Dont know why i still bother
I simpley just lost my power to feel anything
Im trapped in this hell where everything just seems pointless.

(forgive any gramatical eror. Inglsh is not my first language)

9/7/2014 14 comments

To: You.

by tctc 9/7/2014

written by tctc

I am writing this with a heavy heart. It’s been awhile. I’d just go straight to my point, yeah?

Did you actually miss me? Because I know I don’t.
As time goes by, I find that I have lesser and lesser things to tell you about. I actually struggle to talk to you. I don’t even know what to say to you sometimes. In order to keep This alive, I’ve tried my best to push myself out to talk to you, and so I always send you pictures. Since they speak of a thousand (make that million!) words, ha ha.
The love I once had for […]

9/7/2014 3 comments

I need a friend

by SOrmerod 9/7/2014

written by SOrmerod

I’ve been alone in my depression my entire life. I’ve got social anxiety so I’m basically a recluse. My depression is treatment resistant. The longest a medication has worked for me is two months before it stops and needs to be changed. To add to it I get the worst side effects. Uncontrollable muscle movements slurred speech and worse. I can’t take life anymore. I need a friend and a hug and someone to just hold me while I cry. It just doesn’t end. With everything going bad in my life I want to die so bad but I’m too big a coward to kill […]

9/7/2014 14 comments

by snader 9/6/2014

written by snader

Ah man, the 2 year mark is closing in on me. It’s gonna be here so fast, i don’t even have proper time to prepare myself. It’ll just hit me, like everything hits me.
Like the memories that creep in, late at night. Or the details i don’t want to forget. Or the feelings, the emotions, every little thing my heart and soul feel. It always hits me, when i’m least prepared. Late nights, lonely late nights.
There’s still so much sadness.
And then there’s anger.

Because for fucks sake, i hate it when people ask if “im over it yet”. Or when people say we […]

9/6/2014 3 comments

Understanding

by Black rose 9/5/2014

written by Black rose

I hate counselling, I hate friendships, and people suck. I just want one person to know how it feels to not want to get out if bed in the morning, to wake up hating yourself and go to bed thinking about how shitty you are and how ugly you look. I am sick of my face and the people I’m surrounded by, I want someone to know what it’s like to feel completely lost and not know what’s wrong and to feel shitty and sad even when everything is going good in your life, I want someone to understand what it’s like to feel like […]

9/5/2014 9 comments

where to begin..

by XxXBeyondTheGraveXxX 9/4/2014

written by XxXBeyondTheGraveXxX

Let’s see where to start when everything is wrong

My life is a mess and it seems to just get worse

I try to work it out I try to fake a smile

Every time I see the shimmer of light

I get dragged back down into this darkness

Inside my chest is this hole that never seems to heal

Despite my efforts and my attempts it’s the same

Gashed open arms stapled shut

Medication overdose, drowning

Always being found before it’s to late

Dragged to the hospital yet another week

In solitary alone under suicide watch

Every attempt always the same

What’s the point of saving someone

Who doesn’t even want to be here in the first place

Why […]

9/4/2014 0 comment

Dream Time Machine

by TwistedSpace 9/4/2014

written by TwistedSpace

I’ve been having these dreams for awhile now. I’ll be in a certain time period of my life. Last night I had a dream that I was in the year 2004 again. Everything was so vivid. I was able to see my 8-year-old self. How full of life she was, how innocent she was, how much she admired her father, and loved her grandmother, how annoyed she would be by her sister, even then. My dream became lucid halfway through, and I ran into this bathroom. I tried looking at myself in the mirror but I couldn’t see my reflection, I tried to wash my […]

9/4/2014 2 comments

Young and Over it

by justmehere 9/4/2014

written by justmehere

I guess my last post wasn’t very explanatory. I’m still in highschool. Just a kid to most people…

I was in elementary school the first time my mom went to jail. I woke up one morning and she just wasn’t there. The story is that my dad and her had gotten in to a huge fight-physically too-and when someone called the cops she was arrested because she was so intoxicated.

Over the next few years she kept drinking heavily. It got to a point that I wouldn’t see her for days or weeks at a time because she was locked in her room drinking or even popping […]

9/4/2014 3 comments

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