My material possessions are starting to consume my life
There is just too much shit I don’t need and I’m paying too much for living expenses when I could be saving tons of money. This isn’t survival, and it’s not working. I have some debt too.
Gonna start selling off and throwing away pretty much half of everything. Ill have to give up my fish tank I guess 🙁 I really wanted to keep them for the next 10 years or so but I need to be light on my feet and go where the wind takes me. I need to get the hell away […]
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everything
I want to die right now. I had some sort of a plan, but now I’m extremely close to just trying the first method that comes to mind instead, and forgetting everything about what I originally planned. I don’t know how to cope with everything anymore, so I’m close to trying to leave this world without taking care of the things I need to first. No matter where I am or what I do, these thoughts are with me more or less constantly, and I don’t know what to do in order to be able to hang on anymore. Needless to say, I shouldn’t do […]
Well, I am going to write about what has occurred in my life; when my depression started etcetera. I don’t really care if someone reads this or not, I just really need to write it down. I was in a abusive friendship with a girl who lived 3 doors down from my house. I met her when I 3 years old and stayed best friends with her for 10 years. I know what you are thinking. An abusive friendship from the ages of 3-13? Well this “friendship” contained of me feeling like complete and utter crap 24/7 because of the friend mentally destroying me (intensely I […]
I can’t pay my bills because my new boss decided we didn’t need an in-house I.T. person. Forget that I’ve been at this organization for over ten years, have almost 30 years in the business and am only paid about 60% of the market rate for my role. Forget that I have been a one-person I.T., E.H. and S., Telecommunications and Facilities department plus doing all the document control and a million other things. This narcissistic pig was Board Chair before they became an “interim” Executive Director when my former boss quit (or was forced out, nobody’s talking about it) and although I’ve been well […]
So I feel I have hours maybe even just minutes left to live in my life. I am to the point where days are not even possible anymore. I have given up. My body is done and my mind is done. I can’t live through any of this anymore. I have everything in place and all I have to do is do my first step and then the last step that would finish me off for good. At this point I feel the only thing or person that could stop me is that one girl. Who I thought I could trust and tell everything to, […]
I am just tired I am so sorry.
I hate the smell of my own family nowhere is home for me
They tried to make me ok but the damage is done. Interacting with them does not make ne feel warmth or joy or anything at all i feel like i do not have a family. They became strangers. I am a disappointer in every sense but my sister isnt she is small and fragile and beautiful i hope she can be everything i failed to be. Baby you are a fairy abd im past the age of believeing them so trust me you truly are
I had […]
I could be ending it all here. Not now, but soon, I just have to find the right time and method. One method I’ve been thinking about was overdose on fluoxetine and strepsils (hopefully they’ll kill me). I tried hanging but I can’t tie a noose for shit, I have no access to guns at all, and I couldn’t be able to drown myself nor could I find a heavy object to tie to my feet. But that’s beside the point, the point is that I could take my life pretty shortly. I just feel like everything’s falling apart and that if I die now […]
My parents don’t know im suicidal and ive been thinking about it more and more…Today i went out with my bestfriend whom they both trust. We went to a bonfire. Left. He got lost and when we got back to town we grabbed some food but the chef was gone and our food took forever. Basic basically i came home 30 minutes late and they start snapping on me. Talkimg about respect. I seriously hate them, they compare me to my brother who lies to them all the time and does a lot of drugs. But they don’t know that and flip on me for […]
I once had a life, a real home. I lost everything after becoming a whistleblower. I live in poverty but these so called whistleblower groups just used me for them to get money. I was down to one car, have fibromyalgia and my mom committed suicicide a while back. I was in a car wreck a couple of weeks ago. No, not a penny to my name, have tried every medication there is for depression, in great pain I really wish I had died in that car wreck and I want to die now. I have a 9 mm gun and when grandkids leave I […]
How long until it gets better? I have struggled with bipolar depression for the last 2 years, severely. I wake up and I think about dying, I go to sleep and I think about dying. I just moved so I don’t have a therapist or psychiatrist yet but I have had both and went to them both every single time. Therapy once a week and the psychiatrist as needed. It’s not like I have done nothing to fix me… I even admitted my OWN self into the hospital to get better. I’m still sooooo severely depressed. No matter what I do it has not seem […]
You could look at your family right now and judge them just by looking at them because no one knows their family better than a outsider. I’m the type of person who doesn’t talk much, but feels a lot. Keeps everything in and listens to others. Having parents who smoke weed and drink alcohol everyday, gives you a different look on things. You mature faster, but don’t make good decisions. I smoke weed and yet my parents tell me not to. They think I don’t know about it but actually I take their weed and call them hypocritical. I’ve cut myself and I’m not proud […]
I have felt this way for a week now. I just don’t want to be here anymore. I have been depressed for 5 plus years. The reason is I have a very sick parent and they are getting worse. But. Then this girl came into my life and everything finally seemed to go up for me. I was happy again. I never thought I would feel that way again. I had someone for the first time in my life I could trust and talk to about everything. I could be myself around her and even show my real me and cry. She’s my everything and […]
I have sooooo much on my mind with nobody to talk / turn to so everything is just built up & continues to build each day i cant do anything without my mind racing all i want to do is run but i cant because its my body so its like im trapped so i just cry over & over & over again im so stressed & overwhelmed.
Hi guys,
I’m a 30 y/o male from the uk. Been suffering with depression for many years, mainly stemming from my upbringing. I’ve treated those close to me badly in the past, always pushing everyone away. I know my problems on here are nothing compared to others, but I feel I’m at the end of the road. I met the most fantastic girl 2 years ago and lived my life to the fullest with her. We was both so happy. But yet again I manage to ruin it, just like I’ve done with everything else. I’ve tried everything and hung on for as long as I […]
If the world is an ocean, then shall we become sharks.
The king of the jungle, the lion. A warrior, a sabre of light.
The magic sands at the end of hell. The chain that we must cut.
Faith, is everything, everything that is. Everything that is wrong and right.
The scale. The balance. Liberty and justice. Most of all, universal and eternal peace.
Raped, our goddess. Civilization, civilization, civilization. Our populous system on our “Mother Earth.”
I wonder so much, what is missing in the soul of others. The truth – And oh, how I am so alone. Sacred crucifix.
Assemble, the journey. Who will […]
So Andrei and I conceived this piece about 3 months ago, we both recorded our parts about 2 months ago, but we’ve had the track in post-production since then. This will definitely appear to music pretty soon, but we both thought that it could stand okay raw for people that like poetry.
As always, the poem is below for people that like to read along.
You’re Gone
[Bullfrog]
I loved everything about you,
From your nervous smile to the way your face would flush without warning when you felt the slightest bit uncomfortable.
And since you’ve gone there’s just some little things,
Sensory memory triggers of the joy […]
Well.. I’m less than 20 days from being 18. I have had social anxiety for most of life, at least from when I was ~4. I have had countless episodes of it, whether they are a friend of mine or not, I will get nervous. I had to take medicine to walk the stage without panicking, as well as with my speeches this year. I am on medicine and I think it’s where I got the depression for the most part. I was told I have depression symptoms but since taking the medicine the thoughts of suicide has gone in more depth. I have now […]
Does anyone ever feel like the only enemy they ever have to worry about is themselves? Like seriously.. The mirror is the only real opponent. You stare at yourself in it, and then you just pick out all your flaws. Sometimes, on a good day, you can see some good things but other days all you can see is the things you hate the most about yourself and you wish that change were possible.. Of course then changing you’d hate the person you became then..
Ever feel like your mind is trying to kill you? Like you just hate yourself and everything about yourself? Like you’re […]
Okay so I’ve been thinking about suicide a lot recently. Actually I was online trying to see what over the counter medicine would be best to overdose with… and then I came upon this site. I figured I might as well talk to you guys on here and see what you think since I can’t talk to anyone that I really know without them wanting to not be around me and trying to avoid me like I have a disease or something. Ok so Im 17, I first tried to kill myself when I was 13 but over dosing on seroquil, obviously it didn’t work […]
It’s all too fucking much for me…I seem to fail at everything.
I failed in school and high school
I’ve failed in love
I’ve failed at sports
I’ve failed to achieve a normal social life
I’ve failed to continue my musical career because of being a pathetic,self-hating idiot
I’ve failed as a son
I’m only a financial burden on my family,who’s still keeping my useless ass in high school,and for what?I’ll just end up working at a McDonalds for minimum salary and spend all my money on drugs.I know I’ll just disappoint them,like I do with everyone…
I disappointed them when they found out about my mental problems…They wanted a normal son,not this […]