on top of everything else, now I’ve got a stomach bug. yay…
Wow, I haven’t been on here in forever…my life has definitely changed for the better. But, lately…I’ve been extremely down and I just seem more irritated with absolutely anyone/everything. I was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder and depression, but I think the bi-polar is what causes the depression part..my life is alright, but something within me is missing. I have no excitement for life really and society just keeps getting more shitty. I don’t trust a lot of people, and the older I get, it seems the more and more I turn away from being a people person. Genuine people are hard to come across these […]
So my dad’s found about my self-harm and suicidal stuff
And I have to go a counselor every Tuesday
Does this mean everythings starting to heal? Or will everything I’ve been trying to build (my life) crumble back to dust back when I first got depressed? This is probably my paranoia, Â just don’t know what’s gonna happen
I feel like I can get better, but my family is constantly fighting and it gets so bad I have to actually leave for hours at a time so I can just get away, I’m lucky I don’t pass anything I can use for self-harm, I don’t even know […]
I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that’s real
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything
What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away
In the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
I wear this crown of thorns
Upon my liar’s chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappear
You are someone else
I am still right […]
I do everything I can… For my family, for my friends, even for some strangers! Then why is it like Karma turns on me anyway?
i think everyone goes through everything in their head before committing suicide. How everyone will feel and how everything will be afterwards. I guess I’m finally on that stage. I have nothing else to think. Anything that pops into my head it’s to get away from everyone. Stop hurting people I love. And to leave the people that dont need me anymore. I dont have a purpose here. Who am I kidding? I just haven’t committed into really leaving because I want to be here to see everyone else’s reaction when I’m dead. When they’re in the funeral. To see the trueness in people. Now, […]
so first, i want to apologize if i say anything that I’m not supposed to. i do that a lot >.>
well a month ago i tried to kill myself, and afterwards i thought that everything would be fine, and i felt happy. now i feel like theres no future for me and that I’m gonna feel depressed for the rest of my life, and really empty. i know that ill probably feel better by tomorrow but then ill just feel bad again. T_T again sorry if i say something wrong, I’m not good about talking to people about my feelings or actually feelings in general.
now […]
So for awhile now I’ve been trying to hold on, and I know what I need to do is call a suicide hotline, but today right after school I caught myself looking at pill bottles, freaking pill bottles to see if  a side effect was death.
I just don’t know anymore.
Their is this one girl who I like, and she likes me, and we tell everything to each other. She knows about my depression, self harm and suicide attempt and thoughts, but I don’t think I can ever tell her about today.
Feels like the only place I can freely talk about this stuff […]
The longer I live, the more I can’t help but think about how everything has the same fate. There’s a beginning, middle and end. From a term in school, a job, relationship, trip to the doctor’s office and even life. Nothing is forever, but plenty of things appear like they should last that long.
Life is composed of all these short lived events. One after another. They all bring different emotions. I want to know which ones are the best experiences that make you want to hang on for another chapter of life?,
Hey…Can somebody help me? 🙁
I’m sorry if I’m bothering any of you…I’m new here
Ok so, where should I start? :/ I’m 15 years old… I have everything, a loving family, friends…I shouldn’t be complaining at all. I’m sorry, some people don’t have any of that. 🙁 The thing is…I don’t have anyone to talk to about my problems, it’s like no one is listening. Â I love smiling…and laughing, but sometimes it gets too hard and I want to leave, disappear. I’m a failure, I fail at everything I do. I feel so sad when I look at my mum, because I’ll never be the daughter […]
I just don’t see how things will get better… I have screwed up my life and continue to let others do the same. It’s like I don’t have a backbone. That makes me feel like even if my circumstances change instantly, I will still be screwed up. I’ve lost everything. I’ve had so much stolen from me – literally. I have family that thinks it’s ok to mooch off of me – literally and mentally, and they are totally delusional about it. They have been totally dependent on me since I was a little girl. I’m surprised that I’m not on drugs. I went to […]
I’ve started outlining my memoir. Finally, I’ve gotten going on this and I didn’t have to quit my job or quit school to do it. I’ll just add a little bit to the memoir project every day until it’s done. When it’s done… Then I’m going to get all my loved ones to hate me (so that killing myself will be that much easier). And when I’ve accomplished that, then I can shoot myself without having to think twice and thankfully, the memoir/very long suicide note will be there to explain my behavior.
I’ve lost you and have thus, lost the only person I used to really matter to. How […]
I’m being watched. Constantly. Every one sees everything, yet how is it that they don’t understand?
Last week I felt pretty bad, and for some reason I asked my crush of a couple years ago why she didn’t like me. I know, stupid. But anyways, turns out her cousin which I knew as well had a crush on me and that’s why she wouldn’t date me, because she didn’t want to upset her cousin. Wtf? I mean, girls never like me, that’s like general knowledge. And this one damn time it actually happens, it ruins everything. Not that I would want to blame her cousin, she cant control it as much as I cant. But why? Am I so unlucky? Is […]
I only love N… forever <3
Where are you now? I used to feel you in everything I did. I used to feel you in the wind, the water, my heart. Now.. I feel nothing. It’s like you never existed. It’s like you were never apart of me. You could make me cry, in a way that wasn’t tragic, but beautiful. You brought me joy and happiness. You brought my heart and mind peace. You took away the darkness and the pain. You stopped the tears and the hurt. Now you’re nowhere to be found, and I feel everything more than ever. I feel the pain and hurt like someone stabbing […]
I don’t know why she won’t let me leave, the schooling that I’ve had hasn’t taught me to write. I will never be able to talk again, either. Sometime ago, right before we moved out to wherever the hell we are, I had managed to escape the place we lived and ran. I never made it far. Maybe two blocks down, she grabbed me (this is about 3 am) dragged me back to the house and tied me down. Then, she continued to drug me and said ” This is gonna hurt but try not to get blood on my shirt would ya?” She took […]
The Earth and its wonders is really a thing to behold and we are blight upon it. Really everything would be better off if we all suddenly dropped dead. Man, I hate humanity. I hate the way we think and act and just fuck up everything to get ahead in life. We cant even get along amongst ourselves especially when others think even just slightly differently with you. SERIOUSLY. FUCK THIS SPECIES! I mean I think its a simple thing to be nice and the concepts of morality and kindness is almost the same throughout the world BUT WE JUST CHOOSE TO BE ASSHOLES. What […]
I’m supposed to be sleeping but bleh. I hate these nights when all that goes through my head is how bad I am, that I am simply a waste of a human being. The people I would call my bestfriends based on others’ definition are people who I can’t vent out on. I can’t tell my family because they won’t even care. How I act is completely different from how I feel, appearing to be bubbly and weird in a funny way. I don’t know how they will see me in this state and how I will be treated. I like to think that I’m […]
Why is such a site appealing?
Don’t know, but it is.
Thanks for having it.
I have not been thinking of suicide for the past couple of years, but in the last couple of months yes.
The same old thing–how do I make it look like an accident (insurance money) and yet guarantee that it’s successful and not too painful?
In Switzerland, you hear about the occassional bicycle rider who gets hit by a car.
But you know at 48, I have managed to live with depressed thoughts for a long time.
I see all these young people on this site and I cannot imagine how they can feel so down.
In my […]