I know i dont have a awful life infact my life is pretty good lots of people would probaly trade but to me it is nothing. I feel nothing, empty , useless,forgotten. I feel all these things but yet i know if i would just open my door and go out of my room and tell someone how i fell i could probaly get someone to care. I wont tell though i know they wont understand. My mom got remarried and in this new family i have their is always compatition and judgement. i feel bad about myself all the time i just hate […]
Tag:
Face
My parents say I want to call attention. That the way I dress demands attention. That I embarrassed them. I don’t try to. I just can’t be myself. I see myself In the mirror and all I see is a fat lard. I hate my skin tone, my eyes, my hair, my body! I hate it all! So I try to make it better! I try to hide my fat body under layers of clothes. I hide my face under make up! I hide my ugly untamed frizzy shit colored hair under dye. I change how I look! And only when I change it I […]
Depression is every where all around me ever since i moved away from my family seven years ago ive never been the same.
last year on the 28th of september something happened that changed me forever.. i flew down for my birthday that week to visit my dad and his new girlfriend. But you see me and his girlfriend got off to a terrible start due to the fact she’d never met me and was telling me i needed to go on medication when she didnt even know anything about me or my life.. Dad explained to me that she herself suffered from depression on was […]
When you just don’t care enough to carry on
And every road looks like the wrong way
You feel like you’ve got nowhere to belong
And you can’t get out of bed to face the day
When you drive away the ones that love you most
And you’re left staring into the abyss
You feel that you’d prefer to be a ghost
Because you know that you will not be missed
Then I’ve been where you are, without a doubt
And the way that you feel, ain’t no tongue can tell
It’s a darkened room with no clear way out
You’ve made it to the other side […]
I saw this lady commit suicide. I was in the car with my mom. I saw a car in the ditch. I didn’t really think anything of it. A ways up I saw a lady standing by the side of the road. I told my mom to be careful because I thought she may be crossing. There was a truck in front of us. The lady jumped under the back wheels of the truck. My mom slammed on the brakes and we came to a stop only a few feet from her bloody body. She moved for a few seconds and then just stopped. She […]
I feel like a coward but I have to die as I cannot face the future and what I have to face. I have decided to end it.
I love my wife.
Don’t start to panic for me, ’cause I have nothing to lose I am as bright as the sun, I burn up all that I choose, Up on the side of the field, I see a city with lights, I touch her face when I kneel, she tells me she’s not alive….
by Nat....
written by Nat....
So…. Updates for those who are interseted in me and my mental health, which is probably none of you….:/.
At 1am On Monday 6th February…my new nephew was born, i met him today and he is stunning….im in love, might upload a photo of us…
Im not talking to my dad, still. we got into an arguement after the whole police thing and thats just been it. i miss him though….should i apologise? do i even have anything to apologise for?….
I’m also considering a foster home, because as long as i’m living here i don’t think i’m going to get better…. so much stress and negative atmosphere….
I’m […]
Please everyone who thought about suicide read! I love you all, this is coming from The God in me, or my good spirit.
by tigerlily93
written by tigerlily93
Dear Everyone who feels like committing suicide,
I feel like I have an answer. I can’t guarentee it will work. But you have to try it first ok. Just promise, you’ll try.
Hi everyone,my advice is try to learn God for yourself. In order to know God you first have to know Jesus. Only through Jesus can you be healed. Trust me. It might sound crazy but it’s true.
Trust me, i know. I’m not that religious and allmy life i have been the loner, awkward black girl that no one ever really noticed. almost every guy i ever wanted to love rejected me and […]
It’s 3 am, I can’t sleep, but I am tired.
I wrote a few weeks back, this is a follow up, things have not gotten any better.
I managed to tell a girl i was inlove with that it was so, she reacted as i had thought, told me there were no feelings and ignored it ever happened, it bothers me. Not just that i feel somewhat heart broken, It’s is not too bad. It is more the feeling that this is the one person i can talk to about my real thoughts, but it is slipping now. I feel myself growing more distant, not daring to […]
It has officially been one year since I could stand to look at myself in the mirror. I don’t even know who i have become, on the inside or on the outside. It had been a year since I felt purely happy. I’m not sure if I can face a whole year again.
im sick and tired of people calling me ugly, or saying i look like a dude, or have a “boyish face” I’m sick of people saying “I’d pick ____ over morgan any day”
becuz when i look in the mirror. I’m happy with what i see, i feel beautiful. and in my mind i think i am. even tho i get called ugly at least once a week.
i just don’t get how not many other people can see that I’m beautiful like how i see myself.
i have been texting my friend (he’s a guy) for the past week. and today he told me “i like making […]
My birthday is at the end of the week. I dont even want to make it. I am trying like hell to make it to my vacation in 2 months,and end it then,but this week is hard. My BF keeps leaving and spending all of his free time away from me.He refers to spending time with me as “sacrificing.” He now threatens to move away b/c he doesnt want to listen to me explaining how bad I feel,refering to the end anymore. I wonder if my vacation is worth it. Wouldnt it be easier to just end it and not have to face another birthday […]
Today I woke up feeling great. I have been getting accupuncture and it finally started working. I was date raped 6 months ago and contraced genital warts as a result. It finally cleared up. Felt so good, went dancing with friends. I was completely sober, just dancing and having fun. This guy tries to dance wih us and we move away. All night he keeps bugging us, we ignore him the tell him to leave us alone. He goes and gets his friends. They surround us and contined to harass us. The guy gets in my face. I tell him to leave us alone. […]
Death is upon me. Goodbye Cruel World.
The girl that use to sit on this bed was ashamed to call her self a daughter, friend, girlfriend and so on. The girl who use to sit on this bed was scared to face her self in the mirror. The girl who use to sit on this bed would smush her self into a little ball every night and cry. The girl who use to sit on this bed only saw darkness. The girl who sat on this bed never understood why know one wanted her. The girl who use to sit on this bed saw the blood drip from her arm every day […]
it irritates me soooo godamn much how everyone try to downplay my feelings and coin it as a sort of illness that can be overcome if I try. I’m not looking for sympathy. i don’t care about that either. ppl telling me im still young, i need to see a doc and such really ticks me off. when im angry, i throw things. okay, face it u do-gooders. u arent gonna save us. we dont need u saving. take ur nice ass off somewhere else. im trying my godamn best to live on. i dont need ppl saying to buck up, to try harder when im […]
My whole life has been one traumatic event after another. Most of my young childhood memories are of my mother beating on my older brother and sister. When my older sister got married and moved out of the house my mother then turned her aggression towards me. It wasnt so bad as long as i stayed out of her sight. So that is what i did. We moved to texas when I was 12. The first couple of months mother was oddly pleasant. It felt like things may be getting better. Guess again! It was just the calm before the storm. Mother on top of […]
So, i guess i’m here.. just to share with you my experience..
I guess the stress of sports, losing friends, family, and getting my heartbroken over and over.. got to me.. I started cutting, which was a big mistake.. I know that, and i’m done doing that now.. One night, i couldn’t handle anything anymore.. I ran to the bathroom crying my eyes out.. I locked the doorbehind me, and grabbed a blade, and slashed my arm.. I kept cutting up my arm, slashing it, over and over.. Telling myself what a fuck up i am.. And how it was all my fault.. Each cut, deeper […]
I am depressed.
I am an insomniac.
I have an obsessive compulsive nature.
I am paranoid.
I can’t cope.
It’s been said that admitting your faults, admitting your issues, is one step on the way to recovery. But when your 2 million steps below the surface, one step doesn’t make that much difference.
I can admit to you, to anyone, those 5 things. I feel understand how those 5 things are related to me. I could even give you examples of how they come across in my every day life.
None of this makes me feel remotely better. What used to make me feel better was alcohol and other self-destructive materials. I […]