Belief in any kind of afterlife, whether its in heaven/hell or reincarnation, i think is only because those people can’t accept death for what it is. it hides their biggest insecurity and fear of death for themselves or loved ones.
Do you know that girl that always goes for the asshole.. Whether it be because she feels like she’s not good enough, she loves him, she’s scared or a lot of other things.. That’s me. I’m that girl that went out with a guy that I “love” for two, almost 3 years. Cussing at me, hitting me and manipulating me was his game.. He made me believe it wa my fault for him having sex with girls because I wouldn’t. He would just tell me the worst of things.
I loved him so much. He would tell me when he would want to […]
My mom and I are leaving my dad. In less than a month.
The thing is, it won’t be simple. I wished for things to get better blowing a candle the day of my birthday, Â as a Christmas miracle too. We won’t have much money to start this because despite of his alcoholism, Â my dad is especially good at making money. This sudden moving plan is poorly planed, Â but we are desperate. We are moving to a different town, have no real home there or stable job for my mom. Fortunately we have my grandparents, they will give us a place to stay while we get […]
I can’t answer that question clearly. Counselors have asked but I never had a reasonable or “good” response. It’s hard to explain to most people that you’ve never been loved or cared for. It’s hard for most people to fathom not being able to trust a living soul. Some assume that I am mentally ill and have some kind of schizophrenia because I am unable to connect with others. No, I am not mentally ill in the sense that I have some kind of problem dealing with reality. If I am considered mentally ill it would be because I have been put through the wringer […]
My head is pounding, excruciating. And I can feel the weight, the pressure, pushing down. Trying to write an assignment, like I have been trying to do for hours, today, yesterday, the day before, and before that…
My head isn’t in this. In fact, it couldn’t be less involved in reality. Work hard… I always have. I felt like I owed something, putting myself behind bars of steal to force every ounce of strength I had into it… I can’t do anything else. I have to… I mean, in my field, you would really think I would care more. about people… I study a variety of […]
Thanksgiving break just ended yesterday and I got to be home for five days, my first day back I did nothing. but the second day I spent sitting at home until my brother came to hang out for a few hours which was all good. Thursday was thanksgiving with my sisters family that I don’t know because we have different moms so it was awkward and all. But Friday was my favorite day of break and the reasoning behind why I am a horrible person. Friday I spent the day cleaning the apartment until my sisters boyfriend came home from work where we sat on […]
I need some advice. Lately I have been worrying a lot about different things, and it is causing me to have more frequent (sometimes daily) anxiety attacks. I cannot keep taking xanax for them everytime, I don’t want to form an addiction.
But anyway, I’ve had worries and thoughts bouncing around in my head at 100 miles an hour. I worry about dad who is working 2 minimum wage jobs and having an nondependable car to travel to work. , I worry about my brother with cerebral palsy who is confined to his room because he doesn’t like to go places for fear of inconviening other […]
There is just simply no joy left in my life.
I’ve been in therapy a few times. And I eventually do see improvement, but it takes years of work; painful work. And it’s expensive, it sucks to throw a lot of time and effort and money into this just get up to a baseline where I can function.
I have cycled back to hopelessness, despair and a deep depression again. I think this is the worst yet. Added to my black mood are some financial hardships that are becoming overwhelming. We can’t register the cars, our health insurance has lapsed. My husbands’ income is commission only and […]
My life has been on a spiral ever since I got adopted 2 years back into my real mom’s family… I have not seen my real mom since I was 12 years old… I am 14 almost 15 very soon, my step family has been very hard on me, they make me feel so unwanted and they make me just feel like I mean nothing to anyone.. Then school has not been any easier either, I have so many friends that care and love me for who I am and I am very known in my school but dealing with the people that hate me […]
I see absolutely no point of being around.I just keep forgetting that and end up backing out of suicide before its to late.I cant keep doing that.Im not meant to be was never meant to be.My oldest sister will be leaving soon off to college i will never hear or see her again.I cant deal with that.
If i continue to live i will be homeless or institutionalized.My best friend says shell take care of me but she cant take care of herself let alone can i.I dont know how to survive this world.I cant survive this world.Ive thought of seeing if i can hang […]
I have been so pissed off all day and i’m not over exaggerating. Im getting sick and tired of people using me, abusing me, and making me feel like nothing and im sorry.. yea.. im sorry. im just gonna like.. emotionally detatch myself from everything. you know, my depression is getting bad again. I am regressing into a deeper depression than i was before. and i can feel it not only in my mind but in my heart.. and its killing me. my meds are making me crzy… and .. i just dont know anymore.I wanted to try and be happy but everything just keeps […]
DON’T YOU DARE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zJxgrSCZJ1s
Before you decide to take your life, imagine who will find you. Imagine them walking into a room, and seeing you just hanging there. Whether it be your little sister, little brother, mother, father, grandparents, a friend. Imagine what will happen when they find you. No, they will not say “Finally, they’re gone.†No, they will not say “I’m happy they did that.†No, they will not say “I never loved them anyways.†They will die. Their hearts will […]
Hello…this is the first time I write something like this, but I hope it works…
Never make someone your everything, because when that someone gets tired of you, you’ll have nothing…I’ve heard that so many times; and I didn’t believe it till now. My stupid decisions made me who I am….an empty girl who just wanna die. I lost my best friend…the only person I could lean on, she got tired of me all suddenly. Well not that suddenly…It was my fault, I abandoned her first, but I just wanted a real family for once…does that makes me selfish? I think that I’m selfish after […]
I am not the best child. I get bad grades sometimes, i’m not very active, sometimes I can be selfish and i fight with my siblings. I do dumb things like kids do. But my mother, she makes me want to die. She calls me a b*tch, or selfish, or ungrateful and it tares my self-esteem apart. She makes me feel like I am no one and that I shouldn’t exist. She makes me think that she doesn’t love me and she makes me feel worthless. I hate that feeling. That feeling makes me want to die.
Today has been better than yesterday was for her. No yelling, no fighting, no hurtful words were propelled at her.
Last night was rough on her. She had to meet her regulars, some nice, some not so much. There was always those men who were very aggressive and since they were paying they felt entitled to anything they wanted. The girl would stop arguing after the first hit, she would stop resisting and let herself float into subspace waiting till it was over. The girl would awaken with noticeably black bruises up and down her arms, her neck, and down her legs.
She is afraid to go home, she […]
She woke up today feeling happy till she heard the screeching of her mothers voice. She had overslept. The kids were not ready for school and she did not have breakfast ready. She was so tired from the night before from having to meet two men.
She slowly got out of bed afraid of what her mother would do when she saw her. She raced quickly getting the small children up and on the bus. As they left she slipped the money onto the piano for her mother, knowing she was expecting it. She found it not quite fair that she had to sneak out of the house […]
Her mother has six children, five girls and one boy. She is second oldest in line. The oldest sister does nothing to help the family, never steps up to her place to aide the mother in raising up the children. There is no father around, though the boy does not step up and take the mans place like he should, protecting the women and girls. She has been taking care of children since she was 6, feeding them, bathing them, getting up every 2 hours for a bottle. She had grown tired but does not complain for she knows her mother must appreciate it somehow… […]
Today during creative writing class my teacher really wanted to read a poem I wrote about me loosing my best friend (well she didn’t know what it was about). I didn’t want to say no because it would have hurt her feelings, so I said “sureâ€. She started reading the emotion-filled poem out loud. We had a visitor in our class who, just from the few lines my teacher had read, was completely focused in and had an amazed look on her face. Apparently so did everyone else in the class.
As she was reading, I started to realize what the words actually meant to me. They weren’t just […]
Well, I am here now, after I couldn’t figure out where to go finally I found this site, and I hope this is gonna help me.Â
I had severe depression for two and a half-three years. My story started when I turned four or five, my brother started to act weird. First he was hurting me all the time, he was nine at the time, but it was okay, this is no big deal between siblings. I was always the type of kid who is playing alone and trying to stay out of trouble. My brother started to fight with my parents, first it wasn’t […]