Hey guys. I am realizing something here. I have to move on. I have a picture with myself since I was 8 years old. I look at that picture and imagine what he wanted. He was a good kind child. His parents gave him the best they had. He had computer and a shelter+ food. Some of us don’t have this, some of us are paralyzed, having serious medical problems and the list can continue. The divorce of my parents and my introverted nature shattered my world, and the dissapointments with my exes. But still, like Salt said, I am good looking and smart. I […]
I stoped hanging out with my bestie and going out or even doing the fun things i use to do i dont like to go out i feel i been keeping to my self i hate feeling sad ugly fat im depressed and i will see doc soon i hope i can get better i always say im ok to not worry those who love me and see the good in me but im feel sad im sorry im not best at typing i do have a learning disabilty and dislexia hope ur day night is a good one its damn in morning and still […]
Finished my will. It was really easy. I actually feel ok. Have a few letters to write, and a long train ride to the city to procure some things. Then to leave a clean house, check into a cheap motel, watch some family guy maybe, and write something time delay text messages. I’m actually so relieved. The nightmare is almost over. Thanx SP. People in this situation need a judgment free zone like this. Such a simple thing. Makes such a big difference.
How?
I dont understand.
It’s become a part of me and who I am.
Without it I dont know who I’d be.
So how?
After so long, how do I just stop cutting. How do I stop longing to feel the blade and see the blood.
How do I do that?
How do I just give up what makes me, me.
The way I perceive reality is troubling. I don’t know if it’s that I have an unrealistically bleak outlook, or that I’m too emotionally weak to accept the truth. But it’s hard to get my head around.
It seems to me that humans are evolved to seek advantage in whatever way we can. We find our place within the social structure, and then develop ways of pursuing power and status. These ways can be hugely diverse and obscure, but what links them all is some demonstration of fitness. Maybe we cultivate our appearance. Our sense of humour. Athletic prowess. Our knowledge. Or our artistic talent. Our […]
I haven’t been on here in what seems to be forever .
Im sad to say my days are worsening . I don’t feel anything anymore . I feel nothing . Im exhausted .
For a while now I’ve contemplated suicide. I believe it’s the easiest way out. No, I don’t think running away from problems is going to solve them but I do know that after trying your hardest to solve them with absolutely no solution, running is your only option. And after running and running and running you get tired. I’m tired. Tired of running, tired of fighting, tired of breathing, tired of existing. I just feel like, if I die, everything will be better. I feel like the minute I swallow those pills or that poison or from the moment I jump, everything […]
Hazy, remember when you said I should die my hair pink?? Well this happened tonight and I LOVE it. It’s not pink but it is so me! I actually feel really good! Thank you for being such a good person 🙂 you really do make a difference. Now I am sitting back and waiting on the backlash.
hi my name is magnus i have went with depression being socially out and much more today i have gotten help but i feel that a childhood were i dont remember much else than a few good birthdays here and there othervise just alone bullied and allways fighting the other kids in constant paranoia when i was 8 to 10 years old had anger mannegement issues and all but after a depression i today at the age of 17 only just started at the age of 15 to feel happy and free from depression my doctors and parrents say that i prolly did not really […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
Thought I would feel better if I punched that steel door a few times. And I did, for a bit. But now the redness is fading and I don’t even have any bruises to look at. What a waste. Apparently I don’t hit hard enough.
Is it bad that nowadays I find myself not caring about absolutely anything? I don’t have any drive or motivation in my life, and it seems sometimes like things which used to interest me, now cease to exist in my daily life whatsoever. This all began at the beginning of this year (I’m currently a Sophomore in high school). 15 year old me wanted to fit in, be accepted into a certain clique, hang out with new people, do well on my exams, study hard, and to generally just view the world from a whole new perspective for once in my life. Before this year, […]
Lately I have had insomnia (again). I mean I always liked not sleeping at night, guess I just liked the quiteness and tranquil aspect about it.
Yet too much crazy things are happening in my life. Do you guys ever feel like that? How reality seems stranger than fiction, and not at all how like it used to be when you were a kid. I think I am going insane, or maybe I already am…
I don’t know why crazy things are always happening in my life. It’s more than just a coincidence. Like how my life panned out. It goes all the way to my grandfather, […]
I’ve been feeling weird for a day and a half, and it’s slowly starting to get to me. I’m not a self-harmer, but right now I want to cut myself so bad. I want to feel pain. I’ve always been someone who is against self-harm and thinks that it’s “stupid”, but right now I want to feel something other than this emptiness and sadness. I’m not scared, I don’t care that it’ll hurt.
Me and my boyfriend broke up a month ago. We were close to our 1 year, but he didn’t feel the same anymore. It was long distance so of course it wouldn’t last. I felt okay the first few weeks but now I feel like shit. My friends don’t seem to help, they try, but I don’t think they know that I think about suicide constantly. When I want to talk I feel pushed away. I feel alone and most of the time I want to be alone. I want nobody to talk to. I just want to die, I feel like everything is falling […]
Feeling hopeless for a while now. Not sure for how long. Trouble sleeping for months. Really depressed I want this to end, but don’t know how to stop it. Feeling hopeless. Any suggestions by people just makes me feel more depressed because I can’t do it or it doesn’t help. Anyone feeling like this?
We don’t know each other, but I know that at least most of you are familiar with the thought and the desire to end one’s life. I am posting these words here, to you, as I cannot share them with anyone.
I have tried so hard. I’ve been hospitalized four times and I’ve managed to avoid that in the last 6 years. I got a job and I hold on to it as if the routine and my financial independence could save me. A friend (one of the two that survived to long periods of time in which I feel unable to talk to someone) asked […]
i have always had an issue with following through on things…i dont know if it is me or if i developed it as a bad habit from growing up in a different place every year for 10+ years. either way, i am finally going to commit to taking my own life.
the thought of suicide has brought me comfort and relief over the past few years, but this year i have been researching and planning it whenever the classic bullsh*t in my life resurfaces.
i.e bipolar alcoholic self absorbed mum and her abusive peado husband. and all they have tortured me […]
Today I told my mom that I am going to end my life on my birthday. My birthday is in 2 months. I only told her because I didn’t want it to be a surprise for her. I wanted to give her enough time to sit with the idea. I always mess things up in life. I’m just not good at it. I tried to take my life 2 years ago but it didn’t work. I took it as a sign that I must have a reason to live. But no, it was just me failing again. So, this time I’m going to make sure […]
Hey guys. I realised something. I am young, so young. I am going to turn 20 on the 26th december. I have decided to let go all of my theories of atheism/creation and blah blah and do what makes me feel alive- Boxing and gym. I am also good looking an have nice muscles lel. I hope you find peace in this life, I am going to find it by boxing and gym and high protein diet like I use to do, I also recommend sport for you too. By making sport and having a well based diet you can overcome any problem . I […]