Ignore me like disease
A ghost you choose not to see
Pretend I’m not there because
Shortly I won’t be
Maybe you thought I was stronger
That I could live through it
That the lies you spoke no longer linger
And instead I found peace
But you’re wrong, dead wrong
I’m just better at hiding it
The pain you put me through
Gave me much needed guidance
Trust no one
Believe in nothing
And the day will soon come
Where you feel nothing
No pain, no hurt, no sorrow
Maybe emptiness is a better way of living
Keep my heart beating is all you asked […]
The past 8 years of my life I have progressively developed worse and worse depression. This past year has pushed me over the edge to wear I have gotten to the point I can’t deal with the pain anymore. The worst is I lost the love of my life because she didn’t think it was fair for us to never see each other. I waited 6 years to be wit hthis girl and for the past year and a half, I had her. I know this is probably really weak reason to be pushed over the edge, but she was the girl I wanted my […]
It has come to my realization that I haven’t been engaging with you like I did a few months ago. I apologize for that. But I don’t feel the same anymore. I wish I could say that I’m the same. I wish I could say I’m doing better. But the truth is I don’t know. I have okay days, but then a moment crushes it. And then I just feel terrible. How am I? Honestly I don’t know. I’m sorry.
hi, if your reading this then that means that people actually care, or is interested in my title, but it doesn’t matter any more. I’m tried of hearing people scream at each other, I’m tired of always being afraid of what’s gonna happen next. I’m sick and tired of being screamed at. I hate it the way the people around look at me but they can’t see that i’m drowning because every time I am reminded that i’m a worthless whore that people can always throw away i sink so much deeper than before and i don’t know what to do about it anymore. I […]
well, this sucks. I can’t go to anyone. And I’ve been clean for so many months now and I really don’t want to go back. Someone saw me writing on here and I don’t know. Just don’t feel safe again. I feel like I’m gonna do something to myself if I’m ever alone
There is this internal conflict that keeps occurring more and more frequently. My feelings are trying to resurface and my numbness is trying to fight it away. I have the strangest dreams but they reflect those feelings I won’t allow myself to feel when I’m awake. When I’m dreaming I do feel them even if it’s just a pinch, but I feel it. And I wake up with the Reminence of those feelings and I don’t know what to do. These feelings for the most part have to do with one person in particular and I wish I could talk to this person but I […]
Although my scars have been covered with tattoos, I have recently been noticing that they tell a beautiful story. A story of strength and triumph.
I spoke with a young girl last night who had just cut herself, still ripe with both the physical and emotional pain. I didn’t know this girl, but I loved her so, my heart bled for her. She said “how can anyone understand me?” My scars showed her that at least one person could.
In that moment I became thankful for my scars, […]
I hate life. I hate people. I hate this world. I hate reality / real world / real life, they are all too boring/mundane for me, and I’ve found almost nothing that is interesting in this reality/real-life/real-world anymore, also in MOST people/humans!
the majority or MOST of human beings/people in this world I’ve found to be either a bunch of stupid, shallow, superficial, ignorant, selfish, rigid, stoic, lifeless, uninteresting, uncreative, and/or boring / mundane ones.
maybe that’s why this “reality” (or “real world” / “real life”) or our society currently is sooo f*cked up now almost beyond help!
with only VERY FEW exceptions of: real-GOOD, honest humans/people, real […]
Just a few minutea ago i had a big fight with my mom, one of the most biggest fights we ever had, this was the second time that in a fight, i do selfharm, i feel it is a way to calm a little, i don’t want to, i was trying to let it behind, but i’m too weak, too stupid to get over it.
http://sunny-quietinside.blogspot.in/
This is the link to my blog. soon, if time allowed, i’ll be posting my story too. i want to lose everything i consider sacred in me or secretly feel proud of.
how much can a brain process? day in day out i only keep thinking and seeking solutions. how does normality feel, what is rest – i’ve forgotten all these things. though i don’t feel like that, but logically speaking, it will explode one day.
i’ve accumulated quite a collection of solutions by now. they can change anybody’s life if he follow them diligently. but then i ask – why don’t they change mine? i think there is a part of me that wants misery, that don’t want to get detached from them, that wants all that evil that they transfer in me.
Hello everyone,
First of all, thank you to anyone who takes the time to read this.
I’m new here. That is, this is my first post here, but I have to admit that I’ve been lurking here for a while. I found this site a couple of months ago or so, and while the fact that this site exists at all makes me very sad, and I sort of feel bad for posting here, it seems like this is the only place where I’d be able ask for advice on something I’ve been struggling with lately. But first of all, I’d like to mention that English is […]
I think I’ll try to give this life one more year…..I’ll be 60 next year on March 26th……that is, if God doesn’t take me on his own before then…………you see…..since Mom died about this time last year, I have no one who loves me and cares for me in the selfless way a mother or partner can…..and there is no one who wants or needs that from me. The lonely, solitary life that was chosen for me by illness is simply not any way for a “senior” citizen to live……I’m in that high risk category, by gender and age, for suicide. I cared for Mom as companion and helper/care giver […]
wish i cud simply pull out a plug and the whole of my system would go into a deep,uninterrupted slumber from which i would never wake up…
i also feel like punishing myself for being so useless… feel like inflicting pain to numb the feeling of helplessness… i did hit myself on the head and now i have a pounding headache but that doesn’t seem enough…
i don’t know what to do… i don’t know if anything would ever work….
What to even say… I don’t know anymore to be honest. Before I knew exactly how to explain how I felt, but now, now I’m not sure anymore. Somedays I’m fine, I get up, get dressed and go straight out the door. But most days, I can’t. I can’t get up. Talk. Even go to the bathroom. I just lie there. Staring at the wall.
I just don’t know anymore. Its like. I don’t know. I just feel so heavy. It’s like there’s a weight in my chest, so much so that it’s even hard to breath.
hey just an intro, Iam a girl and Iam 18. its been a while since ive talked to someone about all these feelings ive been getting lately. Iv been sad for such a long time now, its been years since I felt truly happy, and it really saddens me cuz I actually want to get better but I just cant, I hate this feeling of not knowing where I stand in life, I see all my friends go to college, get married, move on with their lives and I am over here crippled, not knowing what to do. The pain started off as emotional but […]
I have been MIA for awhile, had to deal with all the crap in my life. And to be honest I’m numb so numb that I wonder if the pain was honestly so bad that I had to shut it off like this. Other times I question whether I ever truly cared in the first place. I loved this guy once and he broke my heart and soul TWICE. And I feel nothing, absolutely nothing at all not even a little something. I look at him, I’ve kissed him again just to see how it would make me feel. And yet there is nothing I […]
Fuck….I don’t even remember lastnight. Only woke up an hour before work, suffered through, now I’m home in the dark silence trying to feel better. Getting drunk off my ass was fun and all, but I’m not enjoying the aftermath
Contact info below.
I had a birthstar reading done for me and apparently for 17 years, 17 fucking painful, disappointing, abusive, heart wrenching, miserable years of struggle. I have been and am still going through the effects of a bad planet. So from the age 4 to 31 my life was destined to be bad. I pay money that I dont even have to get prayers and rituals done for me but I dont feel any better, just scared and full of anxiety. All I am told to do is pray and chant, but I dont feel any better. I must […]
Im writing here because I really don’t know where else to turn. There’s people around me that I want to reach out to, but the thought of doing that seems worse than dying…when I was a kid I was around a lot of things that disturbed and distraught me, so in order to cope I turned something off inside of me so I wouldn’t care and these things wouldn’t bother me anymore. And they beer did again, but it came at a great price. I’ve lost passion or interest for anything, and I’ve lost the ability to trust and communicate with others on a genuine […]