Then he told this parable:
“A man had a fig tree planted in his vineyard; and he came looking for fruit on it and found none. So he said to the gardener,
‘See here! For three years I have come looking for fruit on this fig tree, and still I find none.
Cut it down! Why should it be wasting the soil?’
He replied, ‘Sir, let it alone for one more year, until I dig around it and put manure on it. If it bears fruit next year, well and good; but if not, you can cut it […]
Drowning, I love your pictures. Thank you for posting them.
I am in rough shape so comments are turned off. Glad you are feeling better.
The rain cold on my tongue
this red tulip sways and
for fifty seven seconds I am
at complete peace with myself.
Hey everyone, sorry I haven’t been around.
Been having a couple of shitty days, mentally, emotionally and physically. Been abusing my meds and cutting again.
I’m in no place to be helping anyone rn.
Just wish the bus I’m in right now crushes.
I’ll come back to you later, if feeling better.
Love you all.
I feel kind of embarrassed for coming back here. It’s been at least two or three months since I wrote anything or even read other’s thoughts. I thought I was feeling better and didn’t need to come back here and I was going to delete this account and act as if I never belonged here. I’m glad I didn’t delete it. For the past few months things have been going fine. I finished a few online classes and been more social. Thing is, I still feel lonely. In the beginning of March my grade went on a trip and I bunked with three other friends. […]
Hi, everyone.
I’m feeling better than yesterday.
Migraine is gone, at least for now.
I can sit up without getting dizzy, and I can open my eyes without feeling like I’m going to throw up a small continent.
In fact, today I felt well enough to get out and actually DO a few things.
Yay for things.
How are the rest of you doing?
Depression Haiku:
Hi again, Doctor
Of COURSE I’m feeling better
You don’t mind lies, right?
Made of wet cement
With the strength of a kitten
I will stay in bed
Prescriptions galore
Which one is the time machine
Should I go back, or….?
A world of dark gray
Matches all of my outfits!
I look like I cared
Sleeping like zombies
Wide-eyed for hours again
On the same old slab
SP is one place
I do not have to […]
Now im thinking of how I i spoke and wrote earlier. I wish I didn’t say alot of it. Tomorrow, I will make and eat a good breakfast and begin to exercise, hopefully. Definetly go out for coffee. And back.
If you are reading this then you know you are guilty of this.
If you are too scared to read this then you are in denial.
If this causes you pain/hurt/makes you feel uncomfortable then maybe just maybe I might be saying something that has value and meaning.
There are way tooooooo many people on here that put themselves down
way toooooo often.
Here’s the facts,
you are depressed,
you’re suicidal,
your life sucks,
you cant get a girlfriend/boyfriend
you fill in the blanks.
You know what SO FUCKING WHAT!!!!
Do you have to label yourself as pathetic or useless or ugly or a waste of space or all the other horrible things you say to yourself […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
I’m actually feeling good about my job interview tomorrow . I have one at top golf . It just opened in my city . And it’s a group interview . You play games with people and have fun so it’s not even like a real interview .
I just get nervous . I feel like if I get this job then I will feel like I have something to do . It will take my mind off things .
So wish me luck tomorow … It’s gonna be a nerve wrecking day . I also have to present my research paper in class .. That’s […]
I thought I was doing good. I was feeling better for a week but it wasn’t just on my own. I started talking to another girl. She was pretty, and we talked great all week. Sending pics back and forth. I was still keeping my guard up, just incase we stop talking. Well I finally met her in real life a week later and I felt like more of a man again. Like I guess thats what confidence is, feels like.. My two feet on the ground, a skinny regular guy, another person a part of this world. Doesn’t matter if I’m rich or poor, […]
Thought I was feeling better and maybe I am. But think its time to start coming up with a plan. Because I don’t want another or anything else for that matter in my life anymore. I still feel empty and sad, but I do things. I’m not in bed anymore. I try to move on and see other people, but don’t want to anymore. I fell in love with that girl and thought it was real between the both of us, but it was just me. I relized I fooled myself again or whatever. But also feel ready to go. Lived the best I could […]
Hello all. 🙂
I tried to keep this short – and failed. I just needed to rant. Not about anything in particular. I seriously need some sleep, so please forgive any bad writing.
Today I used my wheelchair for the first time. It’s on loan for six weeks. Who knows, maybe in that time I’ll get outside more and it’ll help me start to feel less depressed. I’ve been so much worse lately, and I think spending more time in the house and with relatively little natural light has caused a lot of that.
This evening I went to a local light-themed festival. People make installations, play music […]
None of us signed a contract to be born. It was the choice of our parents. In my case, my immature 19 and 21 year old parents choose to have sex without a condom, than decided not to get an abortion when biomom got pregnant. Me, the person effected the most by my parents irresponsible choices, has no choice to opt out of life. At least not the way I want to.
Why does our CULTure and the medical establishment consider it a mental illness to not want to live anymore? they think it’s absolutely nuts not to wanna live in a world were your enslaved […]
hey guys i havent posted in a while i thought i was getting my depression under control but this morning it hit me again like a ton of bricks if anyone remembers a while ago i posted a long post and in it i chose a date to hold off until to see if i was feeling better and i was for a month or so but now im not so sure im starting to think all the recent changes in my life just kept my mind to busy to focus on the pain but now that im settling back into a routine my fucked […]
This is going to sound insane, like I’ve lost my mind, or like I’m a real idiot or someone who hasn’t been honest here, but I have been.
So I found a place to live for the next 7 months, provided my work keeps up and I can pay for it. I don’t have a bed though, so I’m on the couch. I’d like to be able to have a bed in my own room though.
Anyway, I’ve been through some real hell with the guy I like blowing up at me when I try to talk about how I feel, which is that the terminology he […]
I made a promise to myself (for my family and friends) a long time ago that I wouldn’t kill myself unless I have tried everything I know of to make myself better. Â I’m surrounded by too many wonderful people that I know would be devastated if I committed suicide. (I know, poor me. I can’t help that the only thing fucked about my life is my own head.)
About 7 weeks ago I had decided to go through with it. Â I went to grab my car keys and Ayahausca jumped into my head. Â Fuck! Stupid promise. Â A few weeks before that my old boss told me […]
Almost to day 3 of no eating. Though I may be shaky and dizzy I’m feeling better and better about myself. I can actually say I’m a little happier
It’s a bit hard for me to put so much pain into words. But I’ll do the best I can to explain it.
I am not a strong person. I was never a strong person. Â And by many accounts, I have no right to complain about my lot in life. I’ve traveled to many places, never been physically abused, and I’ve had many things provided for me. I have a roof over my head, and a pantry full of food. My own bedroom to hide away and enough toys to drown my boredom. The simple distractions may work for a time but when you stop feeling, nothing […]
I have been depressed most of my life my first suicide was drinking 1lt of disinfectant at 8 years old and countless other poisonings. But recently i have started trying antidepressants but the doses have little effect. I’ve had up to 900g of venlafaxine a day for a few days now with 4g of risperidone with it and if I feel anxious or an attack is coming I can use quetiapine and with weed I am finally feeling better. There’s no confusion, rapid heart rate, sweating nor is there a high. I feel fine til it wears off
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