I’ve tried to kill myself about .. 7 times. I’ve tried hanging.. Ended up blacking out and waking up to Demond’s and evil thing coming after me. I’ve overdosed 3 times. That ended with throwing up water and sleepless nights with ringing ears and sweaty palms. I was recently in a psychiatric hospital. I was diagnosed with schizophrenia and severe depression. They put me on 3 different medications.. But I don’t take them. They make me foggy. I feel like people can read my thoughts and control them. I hear a man talking to me all the time. His name is 6. He leaves mean […]
the earth feels as though it composed of 9 billion humans, and then theres me, i fit in more with the animals, unfit here wild and chased away
I don’t know whats going on and I can’t really feel, its like I don’t have any real emotions. The few times I do feel sad I cry because I look at my life and feel like I should be crying. But I only end up crying a few tears and then I feel nothing again. I don’t love, I just remember thinking that I did at some point in my life. My ex and I just fell apart literally we just stopped talking and just pushed each other and I cried but there was never a real ending a real break up. We just […]
If you can’t trust your own mind, can you really trust anything at all? I live in complete uncertainty, I can’t rely on myself or my own feelings. I constantly feel a whole bunch of nothing, or a whole bunch of everything. One day I’ll be head over heals for someone, and without warning I’ll wake up the next day and the only thing I feel for them is completely platonic, strictly friendly. The only thing I’ve found that feels right in this galaxy of wrong is completely impossible, a slap in the face. I vow never to have feelings for anyone, so why am […]
My problems are probably minimal compared to what others have gone through but it still feels like a lot to me. I feel like my family hates me, they always yell at me, including my sister who is literally trying to control my life at the moment. My parents think i’m immature and probably doing drugs because i like going out with my friends and so they yell at me for nothing. Really they look for reasons to yell at me and everytime I’m yelled at i end up cutting, I don’t want to cut but it’s temporary relief and for a second I forget […]
I can’t stop cutting myself. I honestly am sitting on my bed with a knife in my hand cutting away at myself like it’s nothing, but I’m used to it. And I’m so sorry, but I have to admit, I like the way it feels. I love the way I feel the shearing pain of blade against skin as the voices that overtake me slowly fade into a whispering echo in the back of my mind. I feel the stickiness of the blood. I can’t stop. I don’t know why I try. No one can help me and I know that. Don’t tell me it […]
I’ve been depressed for about five years. I’m now in high school about (if) to go into the 11th grade this September. I’m pretty much at the end of my rope when it boils down to getting support. The times I have told people about my suicidal thoughts, I get in response, “That’s messed up…” “I know how you feel…” (Mind you these responses are coming from people who are just giving out a response because in reality they really don’t know how I feel.) They don’t know how it feels like to get limbs sprained and be laughed at, with literally no support out […]
How did it feel to come so close? To walk the line between life and death.
Were you relieved?
Was there a “light” rushing towards you?
How long were you drifting for, and what did the drifting feel like?
Is the experience of leaving worth the pain – was there pain, torment?
What was on your mind?
I’ve heard more than anything that one feels an crushing sense of regret upon passing the point of no return.
Finally, what was it like to wake up afterward? Was there frustration? Self-pity? Rejection? Do you feel differently now than you did before?
What has life become for you?
Theme song from a show called Madventures.
Wish I could have seen the world even a 1 percent of what these guys have – and lived my life to the fullest while I still had the time. Really have to give a salute to Riku and Tunna. 🙂 Love the show, and it had for a few years kept me hoping to be in their shoes; exploring places, seeing other cultures and people – but no more.
The best travelling documentary program in the world by far – Finnish, but at least 3th season spoken in English – distributed all over the world though.
Theme song gets me […]
suicide isnt a joke nor is it a game.thats really fucked up when u make fun of people who cut and shit.ISNT NOT A JOKE OR A GAME stop being fvcking retards and make fun of people who r suicidual or were suicidual….. its not fun i know because now ppl at school ask me whats that on your arm and i say scars and they ask for what and i dont tell them because im afraid of getting bullied!so i know how it feels to get rumors spread about me nd shit because i have been at this school for about 5 months and […]
Life is really , weird , I’m done with with everything . It’s just over , dealing with this shit has made me sick , it feels worse , I’ve lost all my interest in every single damn thing , dealing with the shit your parents are giving u … I don’t understand what the hell is wrong with me ,, this shit is over man , suicide is the only option left maybe.Today I stood at the end of the Cliff , nd yelled loudly . I just wanned to jump off it nd wanted to feel the warm blood […]
i am 17 & will be 18 in 3 months i have no job,not graduating,extremly insecure,have no friends nd feels like i have no family i need a job more than anything but nobody is hiring me nd that along with everything else is making me ore miserable than i already am i am also bipolar nd serverly depressed i was on medication but i ran out nd my mom wont refill my perscription she acts like she cares infront of pp but really she doesnt because ive been like this my whole life nd im only getting worse nd not once has she acted […]
Well, where to begin. I’m new to this whole thing. I figured, why not express how I to a bunch of people I don’t know? So, here goes it.
Im 16, no I’m not perfect,  no I don’t have the worst lifestyle a human could have, but it could definitely be a hell of a lot better. I am now a sophomore in high school, and if anybody told you that high school was easy, they’re lying to you. Quit while you have the chance.
I have been bullied since the fourth grade. Crazy right? Who knew that girls could be so mean. I was always quiet, […]
Nothing, absolutely NOTHING, gets to me more than people who don’t understand anxiety and depression, so they treat you like you’re a whiny ***** for everything. If you don’t understand it that’s fine, not everyone does. But don’t go and treat me like a fucking ***** who whines about “stupid shit.” Until you know what it feels like to have parents hate you, “friends” who only stay around because they hope you’ll eventually sleep with them then treat you like you’re less than human because you don’t, been raped, been abused, held a knife to your throat ready to pull it… bottle of pills in […]
Me? Yeah i’m fine. If you consider a feeling like this “fine” a pain that is so dreadful crying doesn’t seem sad enough, a pain that makes your whole body shake, one that feels like its ripped half of your insides out, it makes you numb to the world, you feel as though nothing in this world is worth living i never knew a pain could be so unbearable, I mean i can stand most pain, but this…this is just horrible…I feel so alone all the time… I just want to be heard is all, but no one gives me that chance…and sometimes to […]
Love is beautiful. It gives you a reason to live. Just go out there and give….. It feels awesome.
This is my depression story. The following is a shortened version of my journals. I was 13 years old when I wrote them.
Journal 2013
On march 2, 2013 I decided to “get better” I don’t know hep else to put it xD
on March 3rd, 2013 I told my mum about the (kinda) cutting but not the suicidal thoughts
4th of March: “I am not happy nor sad right now, I feel almost detached from everything” “I am happy for Nicole (she was my best friend in 7-8th grade) but it feels like everyone is moving on while I’m left behind…I feel invisible, a […]
Hi, I’m a 15 year old boy, I’m currently a closet bi-sexual, and have, in my own way, suffered a lot over the years. For starts, I’ve had to deal with both mental and physical bullying my whole life, save for this year. When I was in 4th grade, I had only 1 friend, and when I tried to make a new one, this kid thought I was trying to take his only friend away, so instead of telling me so, he physically bullied me to try to get his point across. Every time he caught me talking to his friend, he would come up […]
All of this stuff that they say I have to look forward to, this amazing life that they say I’ll have. But the way I feel will never change. It’s bullshit, I’ll always be fat and vile. No one will want me. I’ll never be happy and smiling at festivals surrounded by people who want the best for me. I’ll always be in my room depressed and waiting for it all to change – to end. Curtains closed, hidden under the covers. It’s never going to happen. So what is the point. For someone who craves death so much yes I’ll admit I am scared. […]
All I needed was someone to care when I felt like no one even noticed how much hurt was overcoming me, then when I felt like nothing could get worse even my own friends turned on me when I needed them most.
My only fear is who finds me.. How the feel, but there is only so long I can hold on for.
Everyday I wake up facing the evil demons in my head, my anxiety and most of all the depression that’s held onto me for years. Fueled by the constant hate of every person around me.
My name, the name that in 12 insignificant letters […]