Have you ever reached a point of sadness where you just . . . Stop? You stop thinking because there’s just so many bad thoughts. Any thought you do have is incoherent; merely a few words in a jumble that you can’t put in any sensible order. Nothing seems right. The words mean nothing to you anyway. For these three days or so, you shut down. You are clockwork. It’s almost like nothing matters anymore. You can do anything you like, there are no rules; no restrictions. You walk around following your daily pattern, knowing what you need to do but not thinking about any […]
Tag:
Few Words
I’m nearing my end and I have so few words to say. After all these years of dealing with PTSD from my first suicide attempt,borderline personality disorder and various other illnesses that have earned me the humiliating title of “insane”. After years of humiliation and abuse for being the gay goth chick, being turned down for every job, and being shat upon at every turn. After relapsing over and over again and after losing most of the quality of my life, I’ve decided to take my own life and put an end to the misery that probably won’t get better. It’s taken a lot of […]
I just joined. I’m a girl, a cutter. Not an adult, but I won’t say my age. My life wasn’t unfair, I wasn’t abused, nothing bad happened to me. That’s exactly the problem though. Other people, kinder people, better people than me have been raped, assaulted, bullied, any number of problems. Not me. I don’t have any problems. None.
I hate myself because I was, am, a bully. I changed schools recently so I haven’t bullied anyone recently, but at my other school, oh I’m such an awful person. I wouldn’t be surprised if all the people I used to bully are all on here, crying […]
I’ve wanted to die not long after I’d been born. The first time I tried to kill myself was when I was four years old. And for the people who have told me that my brain wasn’t fully developed yet, its impossible, i wasn’t capable of feeling suicidal, bullshit. I remember it. I wanted to die and I was perfectly capable of feeling hopeless. Â The next seven times I tried to kill myself was when I was ten years old and living in hell. I remember I brought a large steak knife up to my room and just held it up to my neck till […]
I keep forgetting about this site
So I’ve actually gotten better. I never thought I would but looks like I did.
I fucked up last night though. I was a mess. It sounds really stupid, but I think the one of the reasons I hadn’t cut for two weeks was because of my bracelets. My bracelets are hard to get off, and I didn’t want to take them off. I was being extremely self destructive, and I can feel that while typing this. My pinkie finger is fucking up bad, mainly because I pretty well crushed it. My arm is burned, because I decided to drip hot […]
Once I was happy,
Full of laughter and cheer,
So sometimes I wonder
How I ended up here.
Life just seems grim,
And I don’t want to try,
Everyday I go home,
I sit down and cry.
You made it worse,
Your  teasing and fun,
I was ready to give up,
And admit you had won.
But instead I pushed on,
Didn’t want to let go,
Didn’t want to give up.
But how could you know?
You didn’t know,
Because I wouldn’t talk,
Open-mouthed you’d stare,
As I struggled to walk.
No one would help,
But you couldn’t see.
Inside I was crying,
For you to help me.
But why should you notice?
Why should you care?
I bet you couldn’t tell,
If I vanished, into thin air.
You didn’t see,
How bad I […]
hi everyone, for the past month ive been in hospital. you may of read the other posts but if you didnt then ill explain, when i tried to commit suicide my mum found me and i was only just concious, i told her to write on here and say sorry to all of you wonderful people. the things i did to try make this work was, poison, overdose and cutting my wrists and it would of worked if mym mother didnt come in my room. i left her and my family a letter explaining further details of this website and told her it was important. […]
Although I’ve been feeling better lately (especially last week I was absolutely in a state of frenzy, I was elated to see my friends and everything was amazing for 1 or 2 days) I’ve discovered that my new found ‘betterness’ can be crushed with a few words of discouragement from someone.
A few days ago I stumbled upon a program at my university that offers free counseling if they discover that I suffer from depression.
The thing is that I might not be in a state of true depression right now but I had the symptoms before and felt really horrible. I’m kind of afraid, it took […]
You’re sitting at your desk, and you know it’s time to go. You’ve said that to yourself over a million times, but this time you know, for sure, is real. You’re tired… you’re just so very tired. You’re parents pissed you off, like school wasn’t bad enough today. You go to get the rope, or the knife, or the gun or whatever you choose to use because you’re that desperate. You’re ready. You think of it as some game… the first one dead is the one who wins. No ones home, it’s the perfect time. You’re ready. If you don’t do it, you’re gonna look […]
i’ve done it. i’ve made the decision to end my life. though tears are running down my face, i couldn’t be happier. i feel so peaceful, genuinely happy. a feeling i’ve never felt inmy life before. i’m not giving up, i’m just giving in. for years i’ve felt like an empty shell, being carried by the river out to sea to be drowned and i don’t mind. i don’t really want to die, i suppose, i just want to rest my head. i’m okay with it, i accept this situation. may my body be the last i see and my heartbeat the last that i […]
I’ve never attempted suicide, but I find myself thinking about dying ALOT. Wondering who would care, how would their lives be, who would miss me, if my ex would feel guilty, how would I die, who would be at my funeral. I feel as if these thoughts consume a part of me that is too much to bare. Here I am 9:20 am. I should be in class but of course I woke up today with no sense of motivation, wondering why I woke up in the first place. I fucked myself over again, I failed last semester, &failed this semester too because I have […]
Get Lost [[[please read this, don’t pass it up, I only joined this site so I can share stuff with others, DUH :P]]
by lvhnky702
written by lvhnky702
You try and try again
But the pages keep filling themselves in
How ever much you want to change
Things will never be the same
And the pages keep filling themselves in
There’s no room to stop
With no choice but to get lost
Lost in the pages you help create
This is a book written in pen, you cannot erase
This is life and you’re only given time
Time to waste
And skip a few things
Miss a few words, misunderstand a few scenes
Get lost within the stories we all make
It’s just a big reality we all face
We’re forced to get to the end, but it’s not a race
Since the beginning, you get more pages each […]
i know a lot of people come on here and just complain…and then some other guy comments something inspirational, like those few words are really going to make up for a life full of pain, regret, and anger? i understand tho, im always that friend who tells them that their is always something to live for, im usually that person who tries to say something inspirational and save the day. But if i dont even believe in the crap im dishing out why should anybody else? am i that convincing? Or are my friends just so surprised that a pretty face can have brains too? […]
This was posted on Tumblr but I felt like it was worth sharing on here:
You’re sitting at your desk, and you know it’s time to go. You’ve said that to yourself over a million times, but this time you know, for sure, is real. You’re tired… you’re just so very tired. You’re parents pissed you off, like school wasn’t bad enough today. You go to get the rope, or the knife, or the gun or whatever you choose to use because you’re that desperate. You’re ready. You think of it as some game… the first one dead is the one who wins. No ones home, […]
I was sectioned into a room by myself. I was still wearing my bathrobe which they checked and found nothing Because i had been down this path before i had secretly stored some tablets in a secret compartment in my purse, when the attendees had left me alone at my unit. I knew how to get away with this. I wanted to use them to put me to sleep as i knew they would have prescribed half the medication dosage that i was used to.
This was not the first time i have been inside and spent days and nights in a psychiatric Hospital.
All […]
I do not like sharing feelings. They are very personal and I feel they belong to me, I don’t like wearing them on my sleeve for everyone else to see. In the recesses of my mind, I’m a much more critical and mean person then the one I portray for other people. Why would I tell them what I really think if all it would do is upset them or make them think less of me? And yet, every where I turn is someone or something encouraging me to share what I’m thinking. I have no problem speaking my mind with almost anyone I like […]