I’m still around. Counting the days. Listening to that inner clock, tick tock, tick tocking away. I wish I could hear it winding down. It’s an never ending repetition though. Just like life, even the wait for the end is a never ending disappointment. Will the last day sneak up on me or will I see it coming days or weeks away? Really none of that matters. All that matters is that it does get here and quickly. I dreamed a dream of dying a few nights ago. But it was a lie. I woke up alive the next morning. I’ve heard so many people […]
I went driving. Thinking “how fast do i need to drive into this tree to kill me and cash.” [cash is my dog by the way] What kept running through my head was my baby. I cant leave him but i don’t have the heart to kill him.
I shoulda drove off the road that night.
Its hard to fight depression man. Its like it creeps up and takes over. And im doin what im supposed to but when im alone, my mind wonders. I get sad. I have thoughts. I hate bein alone.
I got my whole world wrapped up in a dog. When […]
I don’t know. I’m really different. I have a lot of problems with myself. I always have to battle my inner self. I mean that’s something I always have to deal with. I always have to fight it.
My emotions play a big role in my life. In a way they pretty much control everything I do or say. Like if I’m placed in a sad situation my pity and my own problems affect what I do or say. I cry or I feel my “hole” opening.
My “hole” is literally a really dark hole I feel right between my throat and my chest that opens up […]
I’ve fought so hard and I just can’t fight anymore. The pain has too strong a hold of me and tonight I hope to blow my brains out and be released from its grasp. I will post an update should I be unsuccessful. Good night and hopefully goodbye everyone.
I am wandering what is the purpose of living this torturing life if i have no aims or goals and ambitions for my future. I just think about my future and i can’t see something positive and give me a motive to fight for this future because my whole life was, is and will be fucked up forever. And my depression become worse and worse all the time.
What doesn’t kill you makes you wish you were dead
Got a hole in my soul, growing deeper and deeper
And I can’t take one more moment of this silence
The loneliness is haunting me
And the weight of the world’s getting harder to hold up
It comes in waves, I close my eyes
Hold my breath and let it bury me
I’m not okay, and it’s not alright
Won’t you drag the lake and bring me home again?
Who will fix me now? Dive in when I’m down?
Save me from myself, don’t let me drown
Who will make me fight? Drag me out alive?
Save […]
I have no one. My best friend don’t give a f* about me. I had a fight with his friend and he forced me to apologize with them even though it wasn’t fault so i sacrifice my dignity and apologized to them. We were best friend before i had a fight with his friends , he stops hanging out with me and left me sit alone in the class . I start to have my lunch alone in the school , feeling helpless in the class . I tried to overdoes paracetamol and ended up vomited all of them out and i never going to […]
If this was two months ago I would’ve been crying like a little ***** but now,now I’m made for shit like this.& I have 100% commission job so I have to fight to get paid everyday to pay for the damage.It doesn’t look that bad but all together Its gonna cost 450$
so long to all my friends everyone of them met tragic ends with every passing day i be lying if i didn’t say that i miss all to night and if they only knew what i would would say if i could be with you tonight i would sing you to sleep never let them take the light behind your eyes one day ill lose this fight as i fade in the dark just remember you will always burn as bright be strong and hold my hand time becomes us, you’ll understand we’ll say goodbye today and sorry how it ends this way if you […]
I’m almost 40, single mom, last year at this time we lost 3 family members in 3 weeks. All of them unexpected, one of them to suicide.
With my home in chaos, mess I can’t catch up on or keep up with, mice in the building, children who won’t attend school and won’t help out, a job I don’t like that doesn’t pay enough but I can’t quit because I can’t get anything else (limited availability due to kids, I don’t have a drivers licence, I didn’t graduate from college despite 4 years of classes and good grades)
my youngest son was just diagnosed as being on […]
sometimes I feel like I’m in an empty room, just me and the cold hard floor. I can’t see or hear or smell bit I can feel myself going numb. The pain of this never ending despair invading my mind. I can’t escape it, it’s embedded in my skin. I can’t wash it away. I never knew darkness could feel so heavy. I just let it eat away at me, why fight the inevitable?
I sink into worlds of fantasy, faraway lands where I don’t even exist. Because in these stories the hero is never afflicted, never has any mental ailment, they just persevere and eventually they get the girl, defeat the villain and live happily ever after. This isn’t one of those stories. I’d never get the girl even if I tried. There is no happily ever after. And I’m the villain of this story. Sure you can fight yourself, you can even destroy yourself, but there is no scenario where I come out on top. No version of this where I win. Ultimately I will keep suffering, […]
This list is for a specific person, but for anyone out there who would like to be my friend/ already is my friend, you must be able to tick atleast one of the following attributes.
1) The way you brushed your hair out of your eyes.
2) You never pretended to find my jokes funny…
3) …Unless you actually thought they were.
4) Your self conciousness.
5) The way you’d comfort me when I was down.
6) Your cooking skills were unparalleled.
7) Your favourite Smiths song is “Frankly Mr Shankly”
8) Your crush on the guy that lived across from us.
9) You weren’t afraid to say it how you saw it.
10) The […]
movies | scrubs | moonrise kingdom | its kind of a funny story | photography | traveling | flipped | wrist-cutters a love story | fight club | zombieland | garden state | cashback | the croods | naruto | full metal alchemist |
http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/2-01-Sky-Is-The-Limit-Acoustic-1.mp3
Hi,
So today I was almost run over because a garbage truck backed off. Before he drove back when I was behind it, the last action was that he drove forward thus making me think it is safe. He might not have seen me, but this is still his role to make sure it was clear I went to his window to get a story.
-> the police told me it is the right of the driver to do this… they did not show much concern that I was BEHIND the car at that time and that it was not clear what he was doing as a […]
So off track, I don’t know how to get back.
I know what is awaiting me.
I’ve done it all before – an impossible task.
I am so alone, yet I have no motivation to open up.
The journey has to end – I can’t live this way.
There are some things I just cannot accept.
I had a whole year to self destruct, and that, I did.
It really is the only way I know how to cope- I don’t have anything else.
I’ve done so much damage to myself.
I walk in silence, barely resembling the person I once was: full of spirit.
I wake every morning needing to die again.
I sometimes have nightmares.
I shouldn’t fight […]
You’re the most beautiful pain. You’re so cruel and vain. But still, I’d go if you call me, I’d die if you ask me. I’d fight if you want me. I’d do anything for you. I love you more than you could knew. I just wish I have the courage to tell you, what I feel for you. Wish I could tell, how I wish I could erase you, but you’re on my daily thoughts and on my days. That makes it harder to forget. But your such a beautiful pain, that I’d be glad to have you for the rest of my days. […]
my life’s shit right now. i lost my gf she broke up with me and my dad constantly fight. i told her i would change but she dident care if i killed myself. she never cared i just wana be happy and she was the only thing that makes me happy i try to act like im ok to to all my friends but im really in pain. i think shes talking to somone. i cant fight this pain . im on my knees begging god to take my life away.i cant live this life im living i wish i was stronger i wish i […]
First day and I still have to fight to not feel so fucking down when you’re not around. Your presence was what kept me alive. I miss you so much. Please come back ._.
I’ve felt, for a couple of years now, the same damn emotions. is that even…its hopeless, I’m not even sure why I joined this site, it’s always the same. no hope.
I feel so alone, hopeless, anguished, crushed, so inadequate, so incompetent, and just so sad….this gut wrenching, soul sucking, back breaking…heart breaking sadness…
and I tried, I truly did as one last fight before I welcome the cold, dark, dead hands of suicide.