everyday is like a struggle. A breath I can’t seem to find. When all the pain from last night comes into my mind. All the feelings all the people that I just can’t figure out, I’ve finally found a solution to get my life sorted out. I’ve searched and searched, through this journey of sorrow. I’ve hid and I’ve found, I’ve taken and borrowed. After all this time, I hear Death calling my name. I know I hear it, I know I do, I swear I’m not insane. He comes in the dark, when father closes the door. His voice is scary and sweet, something […]
Tag:
find
Sorry. He to keep it quiet.
I’m just so tired of this all. I thought that this summer would be able to help me recover, but the thing is that I don’t ever really feel anything except for this sharp feeling in my chest. But lately, I keep on feeling really dirty whenever I lie to my friends about not being depressed, or cut, or do anything that I usually do. I get an urge to just wash myself clean of all this. The thing is, I developed a crush on a close friend of mine. But the thing is, I don’t think that this is a good kind of […]
Decided not. This site was an amazing find. Thank you, all of you, for being excellent. Tomorrow. Finally. Take my Seroquel, go for a walk along the river, and — oops! — “accidentally” slip and fall in and go through a weak spot in the ice, and I won’t be alert enough to fight it. They won’t get me ’til Spring thaw. And like hell I’m going to the emergency room to be violated again. No thanks.
So long, and thanks for all the fish.
There is so much pain in my heart. I can’t make you stay and that is breaking me inside and I wish you could se how much I love you, how much I need you. Please help me find a way to tell you, to let you know that without you I am lost. Help me to find a way to tell that I’ll ruin myself to fix you. I’d do anything to fix you. I’d do anything for you.
sometimes you loose sense of everything, especially, if you are all surround by you enemies. And indiana jones doesn’t seem, he is their to save you. But rather to see you get scavenge. One wise man has said, the worst enemy of yours is always closer to you and you won’t know him until the itching voice of the trigger getting pulled down. And you are so close to your defeat such that, you don’t even have the time to calculate how much time you have left. Hmm… A wise man, eh ? But then once you know him; even on that little time, you […]
sometimes you loose sense of everything, especially, if you are all surround by you enemies. And indiana jones doesn’t seem, he is their to save you. But rather to see you get scavenge. One wise man has said, the worst enemy of yours is always closer to you and you won’t know him until the itching voice of the trigger getting pulled down. And you are so close to your defeat such that, you don’t even have the time to calculate how much time you have left. Hmm… A wise man, eh ? But then once you know him; even on that little time, you […]
Well after being upped from 20 to 40mg fluoxetine daily after a bad episode of depression I fell that life is more pointless than ever. I have no passions, find no enjoyment in anything at all and have no enthusiasm for anything, as well as having increasing bad social anxiety, making it unfortunately difficult for me to do my work for university. Overall I am morbidly unhappy; everything is just so dull and boring. I constantly ask myself is life worth the effort and is there any point to going on because I am sure that I will end my own life someday. I fantasise […]
So, up until about 6 months ago, I had a pretty ok life. Had a good paying job, owned a nice house, had great friends and neighbors and a pretty active social life. At the time, I didn’t realize how good it was. I sure do now.
My in-laws used to live about an hour from us but about 15 years ago, decided to move to some tiny little hillbilly town in Alabama. My husband, being the poster child for “Mama’s Boy” has been begging me ever since they left to move there. He said it was quiet and pretty and wanted a less complicated life; […]
morning folks, here we go again. the overwhelming urge to end it has passed, finally. and im back to sort of functioning again.still have all the problems though. no job, facing eviction, no food. why kill myself quickly and comfortably when all i have to do is wait and slowly die of malnutrition and hypothermia? oh well, guess meathod dont matter if the results are the same. i have learned some things this past week that i didnt know before. #1- this website- wow, wish i had found this long ago. reading the posts is like reading my story. #2-feelings- surprise, surprise. who knew. i […]
I’m a 23 years old Asian girl. I’m sorry if my English is not good (also posting by my cell phone) and my life story is too long. In my country, my family was quite poor and I wasn’t really good at studying. My only hope was not to become a failure like my parents. I hated my father for being so helpless and not trying hard to take care of my family. When my aunt suggested for my family to immigrate to the country I’m living in right now, I was thrilled with joy. I hated my country and their education system. All my […]
Welcome to your life
There’s no turning back
Even while we sleep
We will find you
Acting on your best behavior
Turn your back on mother nature
Everybody wants to rule the world
It’s my own design
It’s my own remorse
Help me to decide
Help me make the most
Of freedom and of pleasure
Nothing ever lasts forever
Everybody wants to rule the world
There’s a room where the light won’t find you
Holding hands while the walls come tumbling down
When they do I’ll be right behind you
I am a misanthropist! Full of hatred towards the human race. To me this life is counterfeit, full of bullshit from the little specks of atoms that we are in this unfathomably large universe. I am in no way religious, I do not believe in shit other than we’ll find the truth out when we individually die. Just a rant from my crippled ass. Be well to all on this site, every second that goes by we are closer to the end of this existence (like it or not – tick fucking tock:-)
life is love for somebody but when you love somebody you will miss them and it hurts but when you lose those you love and miss you feel like you got hit by evrything bad but in time you lern to see the little shine there is in death and when you find out what death is you wil know that it is a pretty thing,
Life is cold, I feel alone, even when surrounded by people, I feel like I’m in a different world than them. That I can’t ever have anyone in my life. I’ve been through a lot, went from being a sexually abused boy, to testifying against my father at age 7, lost my family in the process, and now find myself alone. Albeit now I’m a prosecutor now thinking that asking questions in court rather than being asked them would somehow make life ok. I now find myself weary from constantly seeing people at their worst, and dealing with criminals and trying to find justice. However […]
God, both my parents are dropping not-so-subtle hints that they already want to retire…
My father had a myocardial infarction a few years ago and he’s still struggling to pay off the loan he took to pay for the medical bills, and on top of that he’s paying for his meds for diabetes monthly and sending my 2 younger siblings to college. He says he really wants to pay all the bills and just retire as soon as he can.
My mother is sick and tired of her abusive boss and unprofessional work environment. She only plans to stay 3 years tops to complete a 10-year company […]
I just want this nightmare to end. I want to wake up and find none of this really ever happened. The love of my life, my reason for living has found someone else. He’s still here with me in body, but not entirely here. I know it’s still going on and I want to die so badly. The only reason that I’ve not done it yet is because I hope one of these days he’ll see, that he’ll open his eyes and see that it was all just a big mistake. But I’ve not many days left, I just hope it happens soon.
It took 18 years to remember
You want five to forget
Forget about it.
I never thought I could survive to college. I never saw myself in a dorm. I never saw friends.
But I did. I didn’t live in a dorm. I rented a two-bedroom house with a fenced yard for my two adopted dogs. I went to class. It’s my fifth year in school, and yeah my past caught up to me, and yeah I had a few slip-ups, but I am going to graduate in May with honors- a GPA above 3.0.
So why?
Why do I want to die now?
Of all times, places, people, memories, why now?
I […]
The time is drawing near….
I fear. It’s coming on a lot faster than I expected it to. It’s a little odd how the more and more I feel the need to exit this life, the less and less detailed and involved it needs to be. I used to sit and think about how much better things would be for me and for everyone else if I wasn’t here. It was like I would daydream about how wonderful I would “feel” and how free everyone else would be. I would picture my services when I was laid to rest and I would think of all […]
Dear mind,
Dear mind, why do you present me with the same old questions I can never find an answer for ?…
Dear mind, why do you continuously spin and make me feel like this room of silence is a room full of sin?
Dear mind, why do you continue to play these scenes and make me hear all these foul things?
Dear mind, please let me escape just this one night, so maybe I can find some sort of fight??