Hey….never have seen this site till today. I was glad to find it. Glad to know im not the only one as I think some times I am. I don’t even know where to start. I guess the beginning will do – I am 47 – male – and very lost. I was adopted when I was 2 months old. Never thought that would become a issue but it has reared its ugly head. My family seemed ok…had nothing to judge it by – my earliest memory was I would say 1 and a half to 2 years old. its when my mom walked me […]
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Well, I’ve got the MRI to check out my knee on Thursday. Either they’ll find something they can fix and I’ll have surgery so I can walk for the first time since January, or they won’t find anything and it turns out that I just have severe nerve damage without anything they can fix and I won’t be able to walk using my own strength ever again. Â At least this doc was honest with me.
I had a dream once , that the gras was greener when I died
that the grass was greener On the other side.
but I came to find out that that was a lie,
the grass was burned on the other side.
Scorching hot and not remaining
My mind woke up no longer refraining.
I opened my eyes and there it was the
monster of lies, truth, and dispair.
I’m friends with that monster it’s my only hope,
I told my friends they thought it was a joke.
If your reading this now, know I’m not lying
and if I am I’m sorry Im trying.
When you sink into your low points, the pro/con ratio presents itself. You search for reasons to stay or go. It’s pathetic that a lifetime bottles down into a risk vs. reward scenario.
My question is, do you really need a reason? Do you honestly have to maul over the burdens that make living desirable?
It can be true that most of life’s setbacks are temporary problems. But some linger and will never be resolved. When they continue to stack up and never find a working solution, hope is in decline.
So I find it’s not as simple as hovering over one reason or a couple. It’s […]
Mine looks like a contorted black hole that sucks everything around into its center.
I had been like this before, but this time is different. I had tried suicide once before: i tried drinking detol, quite clumsy and painful i would imagine, my mother threw a fit about ‘what the neighbors would say’ – i find her scent now, she stinks.
I never really admitted whether I had depression or not, it seems like something quite subjective and personal. I only know that I feel numb and hopeless and meaningless and sometimes i cry but then that seems pointless as well. though i have so many monetary […]
IMO, suicidal people are stuck between Life & Death as the result of a conflict: Intellect vs Emotions
on a purely rational level, we realize human life is meaningless, especially from a cosmic perspective
whether humans are or not, the Universal Mind will continue to create .. when man has disappeared, I really doubt It’ll pause to think: “wow I really miss mankind :'( Let me recreate man to fill this void I’m feeling”
unfortunately, our emotions get in the way .. thanks to social conditioning
social conditioning says: every life has a purpose ; it will get better ; you wouldn’t appreciate life if it only had ups […]
I’ve been searching all over google (I know that’s amateurish) but no matter how I try, I can’t find any. Can you guys help me out? And please for the love of god please do not preach to me, I’ve heard it all before. So yeah, any recommendations?
i hung in there with you through thick and thin..you threw me away now im the one thats left wondering why and what i did so wrong for you to walk away like what we had meant nothing to you.
you are just like the rest taking what you want and giving nothing, i actually loved you so fucking much it hurt me everyday.
why cant i just be accepted or find happiness i cant remember the last time i smiled and meant it..ah well the world wont have to put up with me for much longer!
Ever been so emotionally hurt by someone, that you just sit in your bed, facing the wall, trying to breath because you’re crying so hard?
When I first started dating I was excited thinking I could my “True love” yet every time I find a woman that I actually care for she disappears from my life. Every time that happens a crack goes on your heart the more your heart cracks the closer it comes to braking permanently. I’ve had so many brake ups in my life a good amount of them I really didn’t care like they only lasted a week and sexual things happened everyday with those girls but the women I cared for is a different story. When I care for a women and think I “found […]
The quote is from a favorite show… it rings true right now.
I can’t see going out in my home and leaving a mess for everyone to clean up. I’ve failed at everything I ever set my hand to do in this life, so I would at least want my death to be beneficial. I would want a good death.
I’m thinking about life insurance policies and how I could go out so there would still be a payout. Maybe vigilante style, and make sure to end up near a hospital so there’s time enough for my organs to be donated.
Honestly I would prefer a heroic death. Charging into bullets, saving somebody, something. Maybe […]
We lie all the time. Some do it to avoid hurting others, or being a bother to others, or because you just can’t trust anyone anymore. The most common lie is “I’m ok.” We all know we aren’t ok. And for me at least it hurts more each time I have to pretend that I’m full of sunshine and shit rainbows. The truth? I’m not alright. I’m not ok. Hell, I’m not even stable. I keep hearing things, and kinda seeing things. I know the manager is sitting in his office watching the live security feed from where I am, making sure I don’t screw […]
I’m at a crossroads now
I either die
Or I find a way to live
I better just sleep on it
I’m not in a good mind set right now
OK, before I start I want to say that this IS the absolute truth, none of this is in my head!
I have been having suicidal thoughts for a while now.The only person I have ever told is my big sis.She just says that I should stop acting stupid.She just doesn’t get how I feel.I’m living my life half-asleep. I’m in high school (my sis goes to uni). I just sit through classes, I try to concentrate yet I always end up just staring at my teacher with a blanc mind.I write lyrings on my hands to cheer myself up. I have thought of suicide many […]
I graduated from college and have a Bachelors of Science. I thought more doors would be opened for me but now ten month since graduation… this does not seem so.
I held a position in manufacturing 6 months after graduate just to make some money but did not take long for me to feel dissatisfied, unaccomplished, and severely depressed. I woke each morning feeling unmotivated, miserably, and wondering why I cannot launch my career. I had no problem quitting the job. The job put me to sleep (literally), the pay sucked, the hours was pitiful, no one appreciate the volunteered overtime and… most importantly, I want to dedicate […]
My life has sucked since a young age. I’ve cut since I was 11. that sucks. my dad always brought me down and my mom said i was a mistake. Every night I hear them scream at each other. My sisters and brother hate me and arent afraid to say it. Im bisexual and have homophobic parents i can never tell. i have 3 attempts but none have worked obviously. i need it to work..i can take my dads gun once i find the courage too. nobody cares..i really want this.
even without saying anything people can find out the truth. we all have that one secret that will break someone’s heart. I had many secrets but didn’t want people to find out. there was only one way out of all this. suicide. but I didn’t have the courage to kill myself. so I found another way out. self harm. I never knew that one cut would lead to so many. I had problems at home the only way out was self harm. people hated me at school they would call me all sorts of names and all their words got to my head and would […]
My name is Justin Jay Smith. My date of birth is January 26, 1988. My SSN is ***-**-****(included in paper copy only that was left on site). I died from self-inflicted wounds the morning of February 26, 2014, at the address of 3099 Kirklevington Drive Apartment 152 in Lexington, KY 40517. This is my “suicide note” and “letter of intent” if you will.
I will start by saying I loved you Amanda. I truly am sorry for how things turned out. I did try. I messed something’s up, I know. We all make mistakes and mishandle things or ourselves from time to time. I […]
Whenever i look around me, i see people smiling, people hugging, people caring about each other. i guess im just another stupid girl though. i fell in love with a boy who goes to the same school as me. i see him every day and it hurts me because im still tryin to get over him. he sees that im in pain but he goes on acting like nothign is wrong. i try to find the courage to talk to him but all i end up thinking about is death. i dont want to keep on with this pain. i want it to finish and […]
I used to know who I was. I was the person that my parents wanted me to be, and I was happy to be that person. But now, I’m not sure who I am or what I’m going to do. I’m lost in life and I don’t want to find my way again, because I am afraid of what will happen if I do. I feel as if I am lost, and just drifting through life. But I don’t know what else there is to it, because this is all that I remember. Cutting is the one thing that I have control over, to just […]