suffering in silence

even without saying anything people can find out the truth. we all have that one secret that will break someone’s heart. I had many secrets but didn’t want people to find out. there was only one way out of all this. suicide. but I didn’t have the courage to kill myself. so I found another way out. self harm. I never knew that one cut would lead to so many. I had problems at home the only way out was self harm. people hated me at school they would call me all sorts of names and all their words got to my head and would stay in my head. Even at home that was all I could think about. But later on I realised who my true friends were and who weren’t. I’m still in school I still get called names and I’m hated by many and I don’t know why. I’ve tried suicide once before but I managed to survive unfortunately. I still self harm and I’m getting help from the school nurse but nothing’s working out. So lately I’ve been thinking about suicide again but I don’t have the guts to go through that pain again. So I’m trying to live. But I know that one day soon I won’t be able to do this anymore. And I will die soon.