I’m nearing my end and I have so few words to say. After all these years of dealing with PTSD from my first suicide attempt,borderline personality disorder and various other illnesses that have earned me the humiliating title of “insane”. After years of humiliation and abuse for being the gay goth chick, being turned down for every job, and being shat upon at every turn. After relapsing over and over again and after losing most of the quality of my life, I’ve decided to take my own life and put an end to the misery that probably won’t get better. It’s taken a lot of […]
Tag:
First Suicide
This has been such a bullshit day. I have no idea why I woke up in such mental pain…could it be the recent separation, the two kids that are grown and on opposite ends of the globe, the fact that my life is just completely fucked….Or maybe its hormones. A drug reaction to the antibiotics i’ve been on. No, I just wanna die. I have to wait until my daughter is out of college and I know she is happy or settled or something, so that she will have her own life situated and can go right back into her own life, after my death […]
I don’t want to see anyone go through the hell i had to. I want to help.
by Daydreamer
written by Daydreamer
I am an 18 year old boy graduated from high school not too long ago. My first suicide attempt was after the first semester of Sophomore year. Drank half a bottle of rat poison because i was too chicken to hang myself. I never felt so alone as i did then. I was a ghost, my friends would talk to me but they didn’t care about me. They tried, but they never got me. The people who i loved the most my friends my family, it felt like i was nothing to them. Wen’t walking around everywhere with a hole in my heart wanting something […]
I stumbled upon this site on accident, as I’m sure a lot of users have. Â After spending a good hour reading through older posts I decided that maybe it was a good idea to share my own story. Before I do though, I would like to request that I don’t get any of those standard responses that you see on most forums. I really don’t want to hear about how selfish I am, or how things will magically get better one day – no offense, but none of you know me and you can’t rightfully say anything about my lifestyle choices. Isn’t the internet grand?
Anyway, […]
I’ve been having depression since the end of 6th grade. I’m now in 10th. I don’t take anti- depressants anymore because they don’t help. Let’s start with the fact that- my family is fucked up. My dad used to beat my mother infront of my brothers and I, and then a few months after, he just packed his things and left us. I haven’t seen him since. He’s a stranger to me – and even though I still have this despise towards him for hurting my mum, I miss having a dad role in my life. The other thing is – I’m overweight. I’m 5’3 […]
i Never Thought i Would Ever Think of Suicide or Self Harm, But When i Finally figured out i Was All By myself in a world full of non Understanding People, i Was left with Self harm, Daily. At First no i Didnt want to Kill myself it was just a stress release, i Was Only 13, My Mom was Never Around, && i Was Diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, & Put on Meds For that.
i Didnt Want to Kill Myself until the Day i Went And Asked my Dad for help, i Felt worse that day, && i wasnt Just going to cutt, of corse he didnt believe me. […]
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where have i gone wrong?Â
my deep decent into depression is worse than i thought possible. i have literally lost my mind. ive driven myself mad. i dont know whats real anymore,i cant concentrate. i daydream consistently, i cant controll it, its like ny mind is trying ti escape reality. its become so severe i struggle to tell if im actually imagining it or its really happening. im so insecure, i have no friends, my family disownes me, treats me like absolute shit. im so very alone, not a single person to talk to, but thats just reality. i dont sleep anymore, i just lay in […]
Once I had a dream that I had just made an attempt to hang myself and I was looking in the mirror and there was a blue and purple bruise around my neck. A little more than a week ago I made an attempt and I looked in the mirror after I cut the noose off and my face looked awful. My normal coloring didn’t return until a few days later — I had to cover up with makeup and even then it looked bad.
That last attempt was the closest I have ever been to dying. I passed out and my coming to was accidental, […]
Hi, my name’s Mady. I’m 14, and I’ve tried
killing myself 4 times. I wouldn’t say I have the
roughest life, but I do go through a lot of stuff.
And, like everyone I have bumpy roads. Many of
them in facr. The first time I tried suicide was a
couple years after I started cutting. First time
I cut myself, I was around 10? And, first suicide
attempt I was maybe 11. The first time I tried
cutting myself ’til I died. I was sorta hoping I
would bleed to death. I don’t know what I was
thinking. Second time I  was maybe 13, and
tried drowning myself, in  my bathtub. It didn’t
work out bedcause my little sister walked in.
I […]
8 Months since my first suicide attempt (overdose), 3 more overdoses and hospitalizations added and the last few weeks more and more time spent at the psychiatric unit, so many weeks I have spent there and nothing helps.
I am really sad now, but I see the end. Have cleared my office out, written some lines to explain my pain (though I never thought I would do that) and now spend the days crying even more because I know that I really only have a few days left. This time I am not going to go for the OD, even though I should have died already. […]
I am a 39 year old woman. I have a roof over my head, four cats who love me and a fiance who begs me to move here from my home in Albany. I long to be a part of a family again. WE are both addicts though and I fear this will be done in vain. Im not sure what’s worse though…going home to my empty apt. where my children don’t live due to my depression, it’s dirty as I have given up the desire to clean, I don’t wash the way I did, make up and professional haircuts don’t […]