i hate how it always seems like the answers in life you need the most are always the ones they forget to answer….. always. nomatter what i get the wrong answer, i just want the truthes of life… not some shit a freak made up to make it all ok…. i just want some answers.
Tag:
Freak
I had an absolutely amazing life for the longest time. I’m not attractive and I’m shy, but I had amazing and wonderful friends, very good grades, and I was happy. Over the summer I had to move across the country with my family. I am miserable here. Nobody talks to me, and they all look at me strangely at school because I’m punk and I have piercings and I’m not the most attractive person. I have no friends and no one to talk to. I tell my parents I’m upset and I can’t do this anymore, but they tell me it will pass and I […]
For some reason I feel I have to constantly punish myself for every mistake I make but am so unrelentingly harsh on myself everyone notices it, and sometimes ask why? I’ve always felt like I’m a total waste of space and often look at people around my age, 39, or younger who are successful and feel really threatened… and I think, what’s wrong with me? I mean I’m not exactly uneducated, unintelligent or untalented yet I feel like I’m such an utter loser and total failure in life I wanna hide forever. That I’m a fucked up, no hoping basket case! I used to have a […]
My birthday is at the end of the week. I dont even want to make it. I am trying like hell to make it to my vacation in 2 months,and end it then,but this week is hard. My BF keeps leaving and spending all of his free time away from me.He refers to spending time with me as “sacrificing.” He now threatens to move away b/c he doesnt want to listen to me explaining how bad I feel,refering to the end anymore. I wonder if my vacation is worth it. Wouldnt it be easier to just end it and not have to face another birthday […]
I’m 19 now and I’ve been obsessed with suicide for about 28 months (to be precise :P) I don’t remember how it began… when I was 16 I started feeling depressed, literally because I hated myself, especially my appearance. I remember crying every time I looked in the mirror and crying randomly in public. I didn’t tell anyone… I don’t like talking about my problems to people I know well. Another reason I hated myself so much was because I felt so odd. I got so frustrated with myself and my inability to hold a conversation. I didn’t ever think of suicide at that time […]
I am finally ready to physically die. Â I always knew that eventually the pain of being alive would be worse than the fear of dying. I can’t take it. Â I have to face the reality of my life. Â After more than 40 years, no one has ever been in love with me. Â I just can’t keep putting myself through each new day knowing that no one will ever touch me. Â I am disgusting and worthless. I don’t even have God anymore. Â How can I love Him when I know he doesn’t love me? When I know that he created me as this unlovable thing? […]
Starting this Year January 29th, I became suicidal. And ever since, ive been a freak. I’m really tired of it and 2011 was the worst year of my life.
I don’t want to live past today. No one loves me, no one cares that I’m struggling and my mom doesn’t even show compassion at the fact that I’m depressed. Yesterday, my grandma found my cutting knife in my purse. My mom called me forever retarded and didn’t even take the time to realize I had been cutting myself and was struggling. I have the worst family ever.
I am probably going to kill myself tonight. Have […]
I know i’m not the only one whose life is messed up but i’ll just get it over with and tell the story…
It started it out when i was in 8th grade, my mom started to cheat on my dad, which i promised her i wouldn’t tell. (bad idea)It got worse, I later found out that my dad had depression not only him but my older sister and then there’s me. My dad got obsessed with my mom until she decided to leave him not only did it made him sad but it made him suicidal. I feared for him mostly because I later found out that […]
I feel worthless, like all of what I once was has disappeared..
I was clever, creative, pretty, and a good person but now I feel like I am useless at everything (so I am reminded) and just a smudge on the world that must be erased. I didn’t think I deserved all of this but it has come..
I miss my old self…the old self that I can vaguely remember.
I have kept all my emotions and darkest secrets to myself, but now all those emotions and secrets are weighing me down one at a time being placed onto my back, I honestly just want […]
It’s been a while since i’ve been here….i wonder if that’s a good thing or not. Still, im glad there’s some place i can vent all of this.
Really, i don’t know what’s wrong with me. I want there to be a name for this feeling…Im not sure what i should do next.
I still cut. I don’t know why they just set it aside….im trying to ask for help, really i am. It took a lot for me to take that step and ask, but all they did is ignore it and act like it doesnt matter if i disappeared from the face of the planet. […]
I really never wanted to write a post on this website. Or I guess I do it’s just that I hate it when people judge me but oh well. It’s not like I have anything more to lose anyway so here goes…
I just don’t understand why dying is such a bad thing. I really don’t get it. Like why does everyone act like I’m such a freak just because I don’t want to live anymore? Is it because life really is supposed to be this wonderful perfect happy gift that never stops giving? Well if thats the case then I should really kill myself because […]
As some of you may know, I was raped and abused by my cousin. I hate the fact that my family still has us see each other. And, I always have to choose between:
A: Not going to where ever we’re going as a family and miss out. Which also means not seeing my younger brother or my aunt.
B: Going, and be an anxious freak the whole time. End up crying afterward. And have a huge fear for days of him hurting me again.
I don’t think it’s fair that I have to choose. Like last Saturday, my aunt and I were supposed to go to my other aunts […]
Hello there. My name’s Jessica. My age, ill say is under an adult, by far. Any ways, im here to tell you. if there is any listeners. i suppose not. but i will go on. im at quite a young age, and im very depressed. i was led to fall in love with this amazing girl. yes, girl. and she played to love me bakc for a while, and i had to sit there and watch her get like 3 different boy friends and after each one crushed her i was there to lean on for a bit. and that was that. i got so […]
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