Once long ago, I trod upon a forgotten path. A withered, earthen, lonely thing. A disarray of crumbled stones, wispy cobwebs and a feral forest of rife undergrowth. My besotted mind was dull and addled; undaunted by this road of such a stifling ominous air. Drunk with my own relentless despair I stumbled through this foreboding path with the grace of a crippled cat. I know not when but quickly I saw my world contort, and twist with alarming intensity. My awareness was snatched by a sudden trance; my conscious smothered by gripping delusions, phantoms and nightmares galore. Before me unrolled the intricate fabric and […]
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Fuck
Oh my god, I really do not want to go to work today. today is just one of those days I just wanna sleep and do nothing else. Unfortunately I have to go in and put a smile on, when all I want is cry. I would like to call in sick but that’s against my values (one of the few ones that I have. Time to pull myself together and run the mf show
I’ve had so many opportunities these past couple months to end it, but I keep dragging my feet. Not hanging on for things to get better, I’m not that naive. But the finality of the whole thing makes me apprehensive. I’m the one that’ll be successful on the first try, I’m aware of this.
With the clock ticking, I wish I would’ve done it sooner. The longer I wait, the more I cringe that I’m still here.
Fuck, mornings are the worst. Opening my eyes and realizing I didn’t try the night before. Then the long days that lead into night….the pattern has gone on long […]
i don’t mean to sound insensitive but fuck, i look around and all i see are fake-ass, apathetic, hypocritic, ballsacks. if i voice my problems they will nod and give me fucking words of “wisdom” but they dont really fucking mean it. they can’t meant it. People sat sooo fucking often, “I know how you feel.” Â piss off, no you don’t, and if you do, congratu-fucking-lations wlecome to the club mate. you know what it’s like to feel like a worthless piece of shit every living moment of your pathetic existence……fuck
Fuck that person named Carlos,with his ugly druggy piece of shit,waste of space,self.You disgust me,I spit In the mirror when I see you.Finally Always & Forever Fuck you Carlos.
written by lifeishorrible
A month In a half ago,I almost overdosed on pcp.I smoked two wet sticks by myself.I could’ve stopped on the first one but I didn’t feel high enough.That day I had the truck pretty much all day with my friends getting high,drunk and on wet.My friends and I smoked six wet sticks that day.I was pretty messed up driving and stuff but I could still maintain,even long drives on the freeway that night.I went back to the house.I was cleaning the truck and I saw that my friend left to wet sticks In there so I started to smoke them. After the second one I […]
soooooo, you guessed it!!!! Im thinken of ending it all, its not a happy time. Id rather not go into my life fuck ups or the whys and hows of my shittyness. Instead ill go the other route……Why people say killing yourself is a bad thing. 1) that life will get better…Your right it will but…like anything else it will also get worse. 2) there is always love in the future…for you!! ok so i shouldnt kill myself because someone might..MIGHT love me in the future… soooooo I wait and deal in this shitty world for a girl to come along and say ” hey […]
I’m tired of looking for a partner. in a few hours, I’m going to rent a room at the local motel and do the partial suspension hanging method with one of my scarves. ive already semi- attempted it here in my house. i was on my knees and kneeling forward with the scarf tied around the door knob and on my neck right below my jaw. I felt my oxygen being cut off and I felt light headed after about 5 seconds and I took it off. I can’t kill myself in my house, I live with my mom and sister and I don’t want to traumatize them anymore then […]
No one needs me
No one wants me
No one loves me
No one cares for me
No one misses me
No one
Fuck this
Fuck life
Ya know what?
I hate all of you
I hate this world
I hate this society
I hate everyone
Why?
Because everyone lied
No one needs me
No one wants me
No one needs me to be here
Forget about it
Forget this
Forget me
Forget about my life
Forget memories
Forget it
Fuck fuck FUCK! I didn’t nearly gather the courage. There was this really sweet and kind NCO, who had been there since the beginning, and I trusted well enough to tell. But fuck me, I didn’t have the courage to talk about it. She often seemed understanding, and I usually tell people I trust everything. The squadron is my family, and I am undoubtedly going to tell someone. I know they could easily help me. If I’m FUCKING FUCK FUCK FUCK alive by then, then I will. I’ve always secretly liked her, so that doesn’t help for FUCKING SHIT.
I thought fuck this. I considered suicide. I looked on Google as I search Google for everything. I wanted a painless way to die but I couldn’t find one.
I didn’t want to feel any sort of pain or discomfort matter of fact I didn’t want my life to end I just wanted the bad stuff to stop. I still wanted to hang in my PJ’s all day, watch movies & eat junk. I just didn’t want the crap like expectations/
get a job
keep it
b successful
have children get married
Fuck caring ,fuck all those tears i cried for you
Fuck all the time i tried to make shit right
Fuck the lies ,fuck the pain! Fuck being the only one who ever stuck up for your ass
Fuck all the “i love you” ,fuck the fact that i gave my heart to someone who just walked all over it!
Fuck all the cheaters ,fuck all the backstabbers!
Fuck all the people you thought were your friends ,fuck all the betrayals ,fuck all the manipulations!
Fuck all the feeling were hurt ,fuck the trust , fuck being there for you!
Fuck all the late nights […]
It’s not worth it anymore. I don’t know how much longer I can take this damn depression go away or all of the stress… What am I supposed to do? I can’t take anymore… maybe it’s best to break… oh,… oh, wait I can’t anymore I’ve already reached the maximum of that. Goodbye… for a little at least.
I have everything anyone could want…..
My parents love me to death, they bought me a home, they bought me a car, they’ve bought me every toy/trip I’ve ever wanted. Â My current girlfriend I gorgeous and will do anything to stay with me. Â I’m normal, maybe not that athletic but an intelligent capable member of society. Â Despite all of these I lock myself in my house binge drinking every night reflecting and brooding on my self-hate. Â What the fuck is wrong with me. Â Everyday when I wake up I almost beg to be taken out on the way to work. Â I space out at work wondering […]
Hey.
This is my first entry. I’ve never really been good with describing my pain or how I feel. So, bare with me, okay? I live in Montreal, Canada. My parents aren’t married and they have four kids, myself included. This has a lot to do in my life so it’s important that you note this.
I began to feel depressed when I was ten. My older sister, Veronica, was the main reason to my bullying. She always pushed me around and made me feel like shit. You might say that everyone feels like this at one point, right? Possibly. But what made this worst was that […]
Well, I’m not a monk. I am only 34, I can’t live life with no vice at all…. But it’s either that or continue to be impotent. This is a huge blow to my own self image too. I was a heavy pot head for over 20 yrs, this has been the one thing which gave me the strength to not give a fuck, until it made me impotent. So, I can either live like fucking Slim Body Good and live a boring fucking life, like straight edge ++++++, not even hardly able to sit down and enjoy a damn steak or hamburger and potato, […]
okay um, i need a fucking knife, i give up on this dehydration thing. it is taking so long and i keep accidently drinking with my meds and then i go to purge the water and urgh im just tired of life. i want to stab my boyfriend but i cant cause he is grounded because he went clubbing with a girl who is hard core crushing on him, she is bombing his ask, and why cant he see how much he is hurting me. i wish i could just tell him that i hadnt selfharmed in almost 2 months before we started dating, and […]
i laughed during a moment of silence in school for rememberance day. then my boyfriend started laughing and we got in a ton of trouble. one teacher spoke to me about how disrespectful and disgusting my act was, i spoke to him about how disrespectful and disgusting it was that he cheats on his wife daily, he did not appreciate that “act” either.
I’m so sorry for hurting you. For making you hate me. For being a piece of shit. Today you turn 18. I wish I was there for that. You kept me sane, and I took it for granted. Now I’m alone, hated, wishing I weren’t alive. Â You kept me from dying, But I don’t have you anymore. It’s been just over 9 months since we parted, and I regret every day. I wish we never dated, that way I’d never fuck it all up. I’m so so sorry. You’ll never know how sorry I am. Please forgive me, or at least not wish I were […]
Here I am again. Posting another “blog”.. Expressing about all of inner “turmoil”..Telling a whole bunch of strangers what’s going on inside my head. Even though most of them, if not all of them, don’t care about the stuff I post about.
Even though I know this. I’m still going to post what I want/feel..
I fucking hate myself. I wonder all the time Why Im still here.. Â I dont need to be.
Fuck. No one cares..
Fuck it.
Fuck myself, fuck everything.
I’m in a perpetual emotional tilt. Dazed and confused. Head spinning.
Legs shaking. Feel like smashing stuff.
I would be a calm guy, I would. I am that guy. But have no choice anymore. I’m losing it.
There’s no choice. It all bullshit. Its in me and from the past. Its fatum.
Hey, I believed in peace and justice and all that. But seriously, if I had power, before abolishing this type of financial system, etc, I would FUCKING WHIP everybody first!
Just fucking burn, Just fucking burn.
All nonsense. I have nothing, nothing. Worthy men have died younger than me, so what the fuck? Why do I fucking […]