Lol. Can’t wait until the day I die…. Maybe I won’t go to a world full of pink ponies but at least I will no longer be on this evil planet. Every time I think I have hope, it goes crashing down into oblivion. I have no future. Die young. I’m sitting here smoking cigarettes, and waiting until I can dip gummy bears in a glass of whiskey. I hate being alone. I can’t stand going to clubs, every time I am in a disco i […]
Okay so here it goes…
So, I’m Angel and I absolutely hate my life..
My entire life, my parents would get into huge fights and let’s just say a lot of cops knew my name and where I lived. My older sister would always scream at me and punch me and just constantly make my life miserable, and even today (she’s 18 and has a baby) she continues to do just that. In fact it has probably gotten worse.
Even though I am the youngest, I am ANYTHING but spoiled. I have to clean the house everyday while my sister goes […]
Hi,
My name’s D.J. I suppose you could say I’m depressed, I mean not a day goes by that I don’t think about killing myself. In fact the only reason I haven’t is because I can’t be 100% sure that I will die.
Imagine hating life and yourself so much that you want to kill yourself. Then when you finally try- thinking that you can finally be happy about something- you wake back up. And have to live with the consequences of failing to kill yourself. That’s one of my biggest fears.
Everyday I can find several consequences of killing myself […]
Two nights ago I nearly died from an overdose. Before I took the drug I was suicidal but as I was ODing I freaked out and did everything to survive. The entire next day I was so relieved to be alive and felt that this was the turning point I needed. That night I felt myself change back, and all the depression and insecurities slipped back in. Today I find myself wishing that I did die because I am faced with constant reminders that I am useless and will never live a satisfactory life. I’m sitting here thirsty, starving and unable to go to the […]
Bidding will begin next year. It should be done in 2018, and they estimate it will cost $76 million.
Based on the new span of the SF-Oakland Bay Bridge, a portion of which collapsed after the 1989 Loma Prieta earthquake, I’m betting it will be completed between 2020 and 2025 (depending upon how many times they have to go back for more money when it goes w-a-y over budget).
(Originally, retrofitting the Bay Bridge was estimated at $230M, but then they said it would cost that much to replace it. Of course, a vanilla looking bridge wouldn’t due, so they settled on a […]
AN: Another poem here. Thank you for taking the time to read this. The ironic thing about this poem though is that I don’t drink and yet I’m writing about that.Great if someone reviewed, to all those out there who likes to drink, does this poem connect with anyone of you?
Round and round the roulette goes,
will it stop or will it blow?
Slipping into oblivion,
it’s time to drink like the Russians and let go.
It’s time to drink your worth,
and bet your all in this one barrel,
a single shot,
and you might finally get to rot.
Heave ho and we go,
drinking till the sun goes down,
drinking our fill till […]
A few years ago I was high on life. Had a good job, 2 great kids, a home, 2 cars. Seemed like the perfect life. Then i met this guy. He cheated on me, beat me, raped me. The list goes on and on. When I tried to break up with him he would kick my door in or break a window. I felt i had no choice but to give in. I sent my kids to live with there father (I did it for them but now they hate me). I tried to kill myself. Waking up in shock trauma was not fun. I gave […]
I stand looking at myself in the mirror and what do I see….?
One bloody mess.
I hate everything I see….
I seem…. so unreal to me
….I’m in utterly disbelief….
Hands bloody…arms bloody… face bloody….
the blade is my best friend and my lover.
We go together like ice and vodka..
I feel I’m in hell… I’m tormented in this shell..
I slice open, watching my flesh strip away…
While my mind goes into a relaxing place….. I feel good now… well almost… let me go a little deeper… almost there!…just a little deeper…now I’ve climax into one unemotional mess… now I hate myself…For […]
I’m new and I just want to say, this is to get my thoughts down on paper but nor bottle them up or keep them as secrets.
I’ll go ahead, without sugar-coating it. I’m an ex rape victim.
Which is funny, I don’t get why it’s known as being an ex victim. It scars you mentally and emotionally and sometimes physically, but I guess it’s happened and it’s not happening anymore. When I was younger, I can remember being put to bed at the house of my grandmother’s on their bed and when I woke up I was crying and my legs […]
Does anybody else think of jumping in front of a train every time you hear the sound of it or see it?
Think of jumping in front of every moving car? Crashing your car? Lying down in the freeway?
Think of jumping off every high height you see?
Think of stabbing yourself?
Think of hanging yourself?
Triggered into suicidal thoughts through anything you could possibly hurt yourself with?
Want to get a gun and shoot yourself and be gone forever?
How about every time an ambulance goes by, you think, why that person and not me? I want to die. Give me some way out, please.
Think of drowning and suffocating and water […]
its all too real, the pain inside my head. the nauseating,sickly voice telling me to do it. It hard to not tune it out without first listening to what it has to say. I feel like…i feel exhaused honestly. tired and sick of trying so hard when ill forever be two steps behind everybody else. Whats the points of putting so much effort when it goes unnoticed?
Is life suppose to be like this? a cycle of working breathing living, eating, sleeping thats it. Thats not something id be willing to make a life out of. I want to be happy and i want to take […]
Was just writing a comment to you, but you already had removed your post.
So sorry to hear of your illness, my heart goes out to you. I’m having a terminal condition as well and have horrifying symptoms too, and they are getting worse by the minute; so I want to end it my way soon as do you.
If you would like to talk personally, I can give you my email address. We can talk here too if you feel comfortable. But if you desire not to talk, take care and I sincerely wish you a peacefull and painless end. You will be in a […]
Boys cry.
Cigarettes do kill,
parents lie,
boats sink,
flowers die.
Life goes on,
with or without you.
i fought with myself for all of 2 seconds before posting this.
I feel morally corrupt for even doing this but here goes. I found a new site called Lost All Hope. its lostallhope.com.
its supposed to have methods, stats, links and all that good stuff.
I felt like if i posted that here, I’d be giving people the fuel they need to do what they want to do and that it would be all my fault. But i also know how desperate I get when I get in those moods and how I wish someone could point me in that direction. I may or may […]
So I started talking with a member of this community (well, a member of the unofficial side to this community, at the very least [shakinbakin]) and we were sharing tracks from our own soundcloud streams. Ended up getting the idea that we could combine his musical abilities with my spoken word poetry.
Whilst we were working on a new piece together, he started to mess around with one of the old pieces that I’ve posted here before, “There Once Lived A Man” so thought I’d share it here again, this time with the new arrangement.
Like always, the poem is posted below to help those that have […]
A switch.
That’s how I’d describe my mentality.
During the day I’m this bubbly ignorant person who brushes everything off of her shoulders. Smiling all the time. I’m not even sure if the smiles are real or polite. Anyways, that’s how I am during the day. But at night? It’s a complete flip. The opposite of my “Day” self. Like a switch. It’s as if your lights turn on and the deepest darkest corners of my mind come to light. And when the artifcial light goes out, those thoughts do too. I don’t know.
I don’t know if anyone else goes through this, but I don’t experience too much happiness because of the mind I have. My mind is my greatest bully. It tells me things that may or may not be. It over-analyzes things. It makes mountains out of molehills. When I’m happy, it’s ok. But when I am having a bad day, I’m really REALLY having a bad day. What do I do when I have a bad day? I think of suicide of course. My mind sets me up. It seems like it’s not mine sometimes. It’s like a voice that says…”no one cares”….or “no one will miss you”……or “you would […]
Yeah, I want to end my life as well. My reasons are  arm long.  I was rape at eighteen years on the day of my eighteen birthday party by my boyfriend at the time. The same boyfriend would push me against the wall, and grab my wrist with a scary look on his face. ( I left him but he help with my own emo feelings. ) The next year was my senior year. I lost MOST of my friends because one of something STUPID. I learn I had most fake friends then real friends. No one would believe me about the rape. , but […]
Why do some people–I’ve noticed it a lot on this site–call one a troll if you say something that upsets their feelings, no matter how truthful and factual you are being?
Essentially it goes like this:
Person A is debating Person B. Â Person A says something Person B gets upset by. Â Person C interjects and agrees with Person A. Â Person B says Person A is also Person C and a troll.
So the logic is … everyone who agrees with Person A is Person A.
Do you think this line […]
It’s suicide vs the survival instinct.
Both ideas and feelings generated from the same brain. So why would the brain want us to survive and die ? wheres the logic ?
a short example:
experiencing a full manic episode, you a hold a knife up to your heart, you’re convinced all you wanna do is jam that baby in there, it starts with a nice big confident swing but then just before impact your arm goes soft ? or your mind goes numb and nothing happens ?? And for what. What possible reason
Some kind of fucked up cosmic joke.
Hi 🙂
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