Excuse the Selfie. I’ll explain why that’s here momentarily. Just bare with me.
How do you know if you’re falling?
Is it the wind rushing
Or your bones crushing
As you stop so abruptly
Is it the pain in your ribs
The numbness in your fingertips
Or the light fading slowly
How do you know if you’re falling?
Is it silent whisper
Or gentle kisses
Under the cover of the night
Is it soft touches
And sweet nothings
Almost inaudible sometimes
Which way am I falling
Am […]
Mistakes. Lots of them. Year after year, I’ve made progressively shittier choices. I’ve spent the majority of my life acting and thinking in really dumb ways. I allowed myself to become fixated on what was beyond my reach, rather than appreciating the actual possibilities right in front of me. I was so consumed by what I wasn’t that I wasted what I could have been.
Of course, there were reasons for all of it. I didn’t understand then what I know now. If circumstances had been even slightly different, it all might have turned out another way. I might have lived a worthwhile life.
The choices, the […]
My friends father had a traffic accident and this made me thinking again what I always think about life.
That it is so random. Most important things in your life are decided by basically universe throwing a dice for you. Where you have born, to what kind of parents you have born, whether you were born with a serious defect/disease, whether you get a terrible disease later in life, your gender… list goes on.
One of the people I know, who had a good life and pretty successful, was sitting in her car waiting her husband, a tree near the road falls off on the car. Almost […]
“A Broken Jar”
So here goes,
One last letter now. One last attempt to make sense.
Who have I been writing to? I’m not sure anymore.
What have I been trying to accomplish?
It’s a mystery, I guess. Self-made secrecy.
Things get cloudy and now all these stories and
The struggle as an undercurrent, both get blurry by the minute both get blurrier.
So, which voice is this then that I’ve been writing in? Is it my own or his?
Has there ever been a difference between them at all?
I don’t know I don’t know.
One last desperate plea. One last verse to sing.
One last laugh […]
So I haven’t posted in a while. My auntie took me to a theme park with her and my nephew. It was good to be away from everyone and spend time with them as I don’t see them much, but I’m home now and I hate it.
Its seems as though a guy is interested in me?? Not completely sure how this is happening. Its probably just some sick joke or something but I’m enjoying it while it lasts I guess.
Its my Nana’s birthday today.. She passed in may. I miss her so much. Not a day goes by when I don’t think about her. I […]
A perfect weekend ruined by one conversation. After a wonderful 21 st birthday celebration. Now just sitting here with new bruises and scars all over me. I cant do this anymore. taking the pain out on my self from the stress, pain, every single little thing that goes wrong and attacking myself like some kind of animal. If I want to be able to live another 21 years this has to stop. I know I have a lot of bad things happened in my life and some good things. I am seriously considering on getting help like get counseling. I don’t believe in this method […]
No matter how hard I try to live on, I feel trapped. I don’t know what it is but I feel so trapped in life. I don’t want to live anymore. I don’t like it. I hate this. Nothing is okay and it never gets better. If it does ever get better, it just goes back to shit. I can’t do this anymore. I’m giving up for the last time.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-cD4oLk_D0
You are a day ahead in New Zealand, so today is the 9th there, it is your birthday. I already said happy birthday to you earlier, but what would be more fitting than a birthday post on SP, where we met almost two years ago. You have been my dearest and longest friend, my little brother. “Back then I was a lonesome rogue who stumbled across a little fox in the snow, wounded with nowhere to go.” There isn’t anything I can say here that I haven’t said to you before, or vice versa. Despite different aliases from time to time, we’ve moved on from […]
So I’ve been feeling a lot better lately than I have in years [Thank you my lovelies 🙂 ], however I still possess a strong urge to cut. And I really, really, really want to nip this habit in the bud. I am tired of leaving blood marks on my sheets and my jeans and my sweaters; I have tried replacing it with different activities (writing, jamming out to my favorite tunes) but my mind just goes back to it. Any suggestions? I am all ears.
I was reading the news and came across an article in the Huffington Post about leaving your tattoo to your loved ones after you die. Yes, you read that right. Quote: “NAPSA — the National Association for the Preservation of Skin Art — launched earlier this month with the aim of helping you pass down your tattoos to your kids, grandkids, and loved ones. It’s no longer a morbid dream. You can have your tattoos removed, preserved and turned into fine art.”
It goes on to say that after you die they need to be notified within 18 hours and a kit is sent out […]
Hello everyone! I’m a newbie to this website, and I figured I should post a little something about me- so here goes nothing. I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder when I was in seventh grade. Ever since I was small, I has hyperaware of everything around me, spooking at the drop of a hat. This really fried my nerves, and I became even more introverted than I already was. I was also very ill as a child. I was constantly sick to my stomach, my limbs constantly trembled, exhaustion clouded my every turn, and I was an insomniac. My parents knew little to nothing […]
I have a heart disease since 2012 my life changed since I went to doctor. I love foot ball but he told me that I mustn’t touch a ball anymore or do any sports that exhaust me because I will die so after that I watched my friends do every thing they want except me. I accept that but in 2014 days passes and I cant sleep it was painful my heart very hurting me until now. I completed my high school this year. but my friends hate me they don’t say but they don’t want me to go out with them and when I […]
i’ve tried. i really did. i gave everyone around me at least one chance to try and help me. but no one actually bothered. and i can’t tell anyone, because i feel fidgety whenever i tell anyone. because of all sorts of things. i’m detached from the world, i don’t have any true friends who will be there with me 24/7, even in front of my closer friends, i still have to pretend. why? because i’m scared they will all run away the moment they see all my flaws. i’m scared that once people see the real me, they won’t want to be […]
Today is my birthday. I never celebrate and rarely tell others that it’s today. Unfortunately, my family knows, so i have to deal with them coming over and bringing some food and blablabla.
I d like to spend it alone, thinking about how im still not moving forward. Thinking that its just another year of failures, disapointments and suffering.
If everything goes alright, 2016 august 28 will be a lot better. It will be my last anniverssary and my last day alive
No drama I promise. Just truth. First of all, I would like to give a shout out to all my friends in this group. Thank you for your love and support. If any of you would like to chat via email, my address is wndozh8er@aol.com.
I recently discovered that many of the posts I wrote broke the rules of this group and my status here is already hanging by a thread. Over the past few days we had a lot of fun, had deep and intelligent conversations, etc. the best of the best resides here.
I am a very outspoken person. Despite crossing the line with methods, […]
Okay so I’ve always been able to see futuristic events in my dreams. My great grandmother could, my mom could and now I can. Here lately my dreams have been very foggy.. I keep having the same dream just the time and place is switched around. I’m having dreams that my soon to be husband is cheating on me or just deciding to leave me. I’m always even in my concise mind afraid of this actually happening. I’d talk to him about it but I’m pretty sure he’s sick of hearing about it. He tells me every time he only loves me and […]
It’s been a while since I last logged in here. A long while. A few years. I don’t know what made me think of it now but I remembered it and how at the time, writing helped.
The depression is back. It never really left I guess, but after I was put on meds I was on those for about two years and became a semi functional member of society. Then I was taken back off them, and I had gotten myself to an okay place and kept trundling on living day by day doing anything to put a bit of sunshine into life. But it’s […]
My sadness never goes away it’s constantly grabbing at me in the slightest saying “you can’t forget me” as if I had a choice
it latches on to every ounce of my living, adding to my anxiety, my confidence and me questioning, if I’m good enough for myself?
not once have I lived a day like the other kids, not once have I spent a day with out this lingering darkness, not once has this thing loosened its grasp, constant doesn’t let go.
Constant stares me in the eyes when my family dinner didn’t involve the middle child,
constant pushes me away from any school events because constant won’t […]
Soooo this is my first post thingy so no hate unless its at least funny and please comment your own thoughts.
I wanna start out by saying how weird life is and how unbelievably random it could be, but also how planed it ends up being. Like if I make a good choice to hang out with my first friend which goes into a bad decision of doing drugs, which leads to a path with fake friends. Then of course ended up here at block one with no friends just to start all over.
But I cant help to say that I kinda liked that part of my […]
I don’t get it. My parents say that my depression is just and act, but when my sister boyfriend breaks up with her and she goes and cries they help her right away. But when I’m crying or just lock my self in my room all they say is oh stop acting like a child. When i told them that i have some scars, this is the thing that got me so mad all they did was laugh. They say im just acting. But I’m not they don’t know i tried to kill my self more then once and all they say is that I’m […]
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