Well… I fucked up my first year of college, so I’m cleaning up the mess. I panicked and stopped going to class. Failed almost all of them due to lack of attendance. BUT. I start CNA classes soon. It’ll only take a couple of weeks, so I won’t have time to flip shit before it’s over and there’s no pressure to be so vastly intelligent. As long as I can take care of these people, I’m good. I know I can. I’ve been helping the CNAs that work in the same building as me for quite some time.
I feel so stupid most of the […]
Alrighty loves, here is today’s positive post challenge. Post something that inspires you, whether it be a piece of art or a name of a loved one or a book, movie, piece of music, etc. I am hoping that with this post, those who lack inspiration and beauty in their lives will find something here. Good luck loves 🙂
why does society almost universally try to keep people alive against there will? Don’t they realize that we are all terminal and going to die someday anyway? Don’t they realize that denying someone’s natural right to chose to end there own lives no matter what is a total introchment on that persons individuals right to choose?
Thank about it….a depressed 21 year old person chooses N to end his own life. Let’s say in an alternate reality, he decided to live out the remainder of his life until he died of a massive heart attack at 70. He ended up spending most of his life happy […]
make a good, strong lemonade, pour some poison in it…drink it and peace the fuck out!
I challenge you, suicide project, to give me your best band references. Example: This is for all you rock and rollers, crash queens, and motor babies. Good luck!
Hello. How are you?
I have a bit of another social problem. See, I have self-harmed for a long time, and I know how to deal with in. i.e. hiding the scars, dealing with the problems on your own, making sure no body finds out. That kind of deal. I’ve sat on that side of the fence for a long, long time – then I just left the park entirely.
It seems I have entered into someone else’s park, but I’m sitting on the other side of the fence. Today I discovered the cuts on a friend’s wrists. I say friend, its a very loose term […]
I grew up in a psychologically and often physically abusive household with my biomom and an overbearing 6 foot 7 “step dad” who would make me work my fingers to the bone and pick on me etc. from a small child, I was close to my grandparents and begged and pleaded with my biomom and stephitler to let me live with my grandparents. They finally did to my suprize.
Problem was, my dad was there and at that time was very physically abusive when he was drinking. When my grandfather died in December 1995, the abuse got worse. My grandma tried to stand up to him […]
Do you guys also drive sometimes to be alone, and think. I found myself doing it alot in the last year sometimes I drove 2 hours, sometimes more sometimes less. It was quite expensive, but I had enough money to pay for it, so there wasnt a good reason for me to stop it. I always listen to music and my windows are always rolled down. I was just wonderin if a lot of people around here are doing it?
As a follow up to my last post…
I feel so alone. He’s out with some other friends and earlier today I had to tell him about 20 times I don’t want to hear it and he actually said he thinks it would be good for me to get over him if I knew he went and fucked a random girl. No I just feel like my heart and soul got ripped out and stomped all over. It’s like he thinks my feelings can just be shut off and end on command. It’s like I’m not human at all. I feel so alone and like I […]
Because today I felt like self praising myself and I felt really good about myself that I decided to share with you a picture of me.
hello !!
this is going to be a v quick entry mainly because i feel loads better !!
dont have time to dwell on sad feelings
sending good vibes to all of you & wishing you have good luck !!
thanks for all of your support
Over the last few years,I am becoming more and more bored and selective with people.I feel that the majority is of them is bunch of shallow,hollow and uninteresting individuals,most of the times corrupt and totally naive,not caring about anything else than money,possessions etc.My standards regarding the ”quality” of someone are extremely strict,and regarding relations,it’s even worse.All I wanted was to find a person that will be truly unique and twisted.A person that would make up for the emptiness of the world.A person,that I would love with all my might and sacrifice everything for.I wish I had never met her,for the person I described I actually […]
My hands are trembling. I really want to, but it is wrong. I should’nt feel like this. It is wrong. Which sane person gets pleasure from pain. Self inflicted pain. But it sets me free. It sets my soul free atleast for a while. And the scars lighten and disappear eventually. It’s not like i am murdering someone or even commiting suicide. It helps me put things in perspective. My mind isn’t clouded anymore. I forget my sorrow and pain. The emotional pain. It disappears. The sting takes over all that I am feeling. I can cope with it. Yes. I know I want to. […]
So I have always hated my birthday and it’s coming up next week. I see a lot of birthday posts on here and thought I’d add mine. For the first 15 years of my life I celebrated my birthday with the birthday of the man who was molesting me, we ate cake together, laughed, played and… other stuff. For the next 15 years I prayed for my own death and even attempted it with one serious attempt that left me with broken bones… BUT last year was good even though I struggled and this year even though I am struggling I think it will be […]
I don’t know how long it’s been since I posted something here, but it’s been some time…
I should probably start with ‘hi’. I felt the need to write something today. Not for any particular reason, I just want to write something.
Things are… Let’s go with okay. It’s been a lot of ups and downs recently. Let’s start with the ups:
I’ve moved on to a new area of education, left some friends behind, and made a few new ones. It’s all for the better, these new friends seem to be better people.
I ahould be starting counselling soon, which is good, because […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
I feel awkard, because I’m drunk. I can’t cope with the love I feel for you. I just can’t. BEcause you’re a good person. The kind of person I’d like to meet. The kind of person I’d like to know. But the kind of person I won’t know. The kind of person I can’t know. And I’m just feeling… I can’t stand it anymore. Loving people that can’t and won’t love me back. Loving people I see so much beautiful things, but who won’t see it too. I just can’t. I know my grammar’s not perfect, sorry dudes, I’m drunk. Tomorrow, I’ll see you and […]
Why?
Why am I so unhappy?
Why can’t I appreciate what I have right now?
My dad still gambles. My brother still has a “don’t care” attitude. My mom is still always stressed. But my family isn’t what upsets me anymore. I’ve given up on getting better with my family. My school is the issue. I have friends and they’re amazing people, but for some odd reason I feel like crap. Is it because I can’t trust them? Is it just me that’s being bratty? The school I go to is a good school. Nice people, good education, pretty decent teachers. But I hate it. […]
wishful thinking gets us nowhere.
there’s nothing spectacular about tomorrow. Â just another really fucking heavy piece of shit i’m pulling with me everywhere i go. Â everyone has fucking flaps on their eyes, where do they get them, i wish i had them but then i guess i wont be able to see the little moments that make this worth while. is this worth it, i duno. WE’RE IN THE FUCKING MATRIX.
one thing i must admit, not sure if it makes me feel good or subtly not good, the fact that i’m not forced to wear long sleeves. because of these people with the eye flaps. still […]
I’ve been close to the edge before, or at least felt it begin to close in on me.. At which point I would try to find some stronghold to pull myself back from. But right now, at this very second, I’m finding it hard to have any reason to stay. There is nothing left for me. There’s too much going on, but at the same time there’s nothing going on. Right now, a way out seems like the only viable option. The only good and reasonable option. The only option, really. I just can’t do it anymore, I simply can’t, and I don’t know if […]