Today as usual I woke up with anxiety barely letting me breathe, wanting to cry and going crazy in my head! I’ve been thinking for days now about overdosing but I’m such a stupid coward and I’m so scared of what comes after… I like to think in my head that once I kill myself I’ll go and be happy with my three babies, I’m 20 and yes, I’ve had 3 miscarriages, and I feel like that’s the biggest reason why I feel so depressed all the time, I miss them! I didn’t ever get to feed them, or hear them cry, they never got […]
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Howdy ,
I’m Gollum , male , 45 years old . Digital artist , broke , over-sensitive , tired , struggling with (“not-so-heavy-anymore”) depression since 2006 , when a very unexpected , painful & unhealthy divorce (after a decade and 1/2 of a very happy life) , put me in the deepest depths (ooo the pleonasm^^) of the well . I don’t have children btw .
Why Gollum as username ? (I could also have chosen Darth Vador , or Mr Hyde)
As an artist , I’ve always been into literature , imagery , music … Basically , I’m just fascinated by the evolution of these fictional characters […]
Reality is boring & LIMITED !!
Real life is boring & LIMITED !!
Real world is boring & LIMITED !!
I also hate this life, I hate people / humans (well.. MOST/90% of them), I hate reality, I hate this world.
its very BORING !! and especially nowadays become ONLY very materialistic, money / profits driven only, all about money, money, money, & image, image, image! ; it’s very superficial, shallow, and mundane boring!
Why movies, video games, comics, books, novels, anime/manga, creative Art, basically human’s IMAGINATION & fantasy is often/always a hundred times FAR much more interesting & better than this sad, mundane, boring, superficial, […]
It’s never-ending.
Don’t try and fucking tell me it’s just ‘a phase’, and please, PLEASE, just stop telling me it is going to be okay. I’m sick of your lies. I’m sick of you smiling when I’m covered in numbness. I’m sick of your ‘good morning’s and ‘good evening’s.
I hate you for not accepting me, as I try to do that myself. I hate you for being so naive and stupid. I hate you for believing I will be good again. Face it. Me, depression. It took over, can’t you see ma? can’t you see it’s not your son anymore? Can’t you see I’m someone else? […]
I made a bunch of amazing friends my freshman year, i finally felt loved and excepted by these amazing people. I was surrounded by love, art, understanding, and passion. School ended i said my goodbyes and had to go home knowing i would not return to them in the fall. Summer went on and i was alone in a new city with only my brother and mom to keep me company; but that wasnt so terrible; one of my friends lives 40 mins away so id see her maybe once a week or a few days every other week; plus my best friend frmo school […]
From what I’ve read the whole seven pounds scenario is nearly impossible to pull off. I’m looking for a volunteer to make me brain dead through strangulation. My goal is to save as many lives as I can. I want to die, but I want to try doing some good with my death. Obviously we can’t communicate via electronic means so finding alternate means I guess is the best method. I figure if I can pull this off I can save some lives by my death. The U.S should allow people who want to die and want to donate their organs to do so in […]
fuck Reality ! Reality sucks ! Real world sucks ! Real life sucks ! Reality boring ! Real life boring ! Real world boring ! movies, novels books, comics, games, manga/anime are better than Reality !!
by niki
written by niki
fuck Reality ! fuck real life ! fuck real world !
Reality sucks ! Real world sucks ! Real life sucks !
Reality boring ! Real life boring ! Real world boring !
movies, novels, comics, games, manga/anime are better than Reality !!
there is no MAGIC, no SUPERPOWER , no ‘cool, magical’ SUPERHERO / SUPERHEROES like in those movie , novel , comics , game / games , manga / anime , etc etc !
FUCKING BORING real world / real life / reality !!!
I also hate this life, I hate people / humans, I hate reality, I hate this world.
its very BORING […]
Thank you guys so much for welcoming me so soon. I came upon this website because I have anxiety OCD where I have reoccurring thoughts of killing myself and I usually find myself researching suicide late at night when I can’t sleep which has been very often lately. I came to this website as a source of relief but didn’t think id actually hear from anyone else especially not so soon. & so now I have a good feeling about this place . Thnks so much .
I made the decision Friday as I was leaving work.
I’ve been struggling with it since I came here. After years of trying, I finally got hired for my dream job. I moved to another state – something I’ve always wanted to do – to take it. The job is good. My coworkers are good. My boss is good, and the money is good.
The problem is me. I’m an utter failure. In the few weeks that I’ve been here, I’ve mishandled tickets, screwed up projects, behaved unprofessionally, and even lost data. My coworkers can’t stand me, and I can’t blame them. One guy is actually looking for another […]
I’m not sure where to express what I’m feeling. I don’t want to drag down my friends. I don’t want to announce it on Facebook.
I’m totally heartbroken. I miss my ex so much. He turned out to be not very nice in the end. I feel like I’ve lost part of myself. I can’t believe he could be so callous, so cold – to leave me when I was suicidal, two days after fleeing home because I couldn’t cope. He left me homeless and took advantage of me sexually. Like, what? How? This person told me he loved me more than anyone in the world […]
So, I don’t know from where to begin. I can’t bear the pain in my chest. I don’t know how much of this I can take before I end up in an asylum. I’m losing it, my mind..
It’s been always this way. Nothing I can do to make you stop. I tried, I tried, I tried, I tried and I… tried. Yet, nothing seems to be working. No matter how hard I try, I’ll never impress you. I’ve been strong but.. but really how much of this pain I can handle? I wonder.
I.. who have been always the good girl. Done everything you’ve asked but […]
My life is in chaos right now. I’m moving to a different state on Wednesday. I’m gonna be couch surfing with a guy who will let me stay in exchange for me being a chauffeur. I put an ad out on Craig’s List saying I needed a place to crash and I’d do chores and cook in trade. I’ve gotten so many responses of basically “sleep with me and you can stay as long as you like”.
I hate people. I’m not a whore. If I were, I would certainly go for a sugar daddy type instead of someone who will let me sleep on their […]
BIPOLA:
Life comes to standstill
Life is meaningless.
You don’t existed.
You are too tired to try.
Hope is DEAD
Feeling eludes you.
Some say you are good as dead.
You don’t feel you deserve anything.
You lost the sense of belonging
You feel detached
You don’t care.
There is no joy,
No sadness
No frustration.
You are just floating around……
Stop caring about yourself
Grow tired of the people around you
That includes people trying to help you or understand you.
You just want to sleep and sleep
and never wake up.
Waking up kills your dreams.
” I am not a good person, and I deserve to die ”
I’m new and like everyone here I have been suicidal and depressed. I feel like I have let a lot of people I care and love down. Seems like all I do is mess up and I feel so alone. I feel as no one cares if I’m around or not. Seems like only time they want me is when they need something or something needs done. I feel like I’m a burden to my family and friends.
I do have a story but I don’t want to get into right yet for I’m not sure if anyone would want to know or talk. It took […]
so i couldn’t really sleep so i was left all alone with my thoughts, and that’s not really a happy place for me. insert sigh here. heh i’m not used to spilling my problems out, but i thought this might help a little; that and i can think up horrible things for myself and this was a good way to distract myself. and right now any little bit is good. so i suppose i should start with the basics since this is my first actual post and non-comment. i’m 16, i’ve had a pretty good life so far, kind of distant parents, not that i […]
I want to be a Surgical PA. I’m currently a senior in HS and I know I may not be smart enough to carry out this task. I work very hard though and if I study and practice I do end up getting a good grade. Although in medicine you can study for hours and still not get a good result. If this is my fate I dont want to start just to quit. Those of you who have higher education, or are in medicine what is your opinion?
Since the end of my childhood I thought obsessively about my death. It became self termination, soon after. I tried to kill myself three times, one OD, going to a cliff to jump (I didn’t, and suffered no injury), and drowning. I wasn’t under long enough to pass out. I’ve held a knife in my hands thinking about burying it in my body multiple times. I think about suicide constantly, but over the years only attempted really once, I suppose. I feel as though I don’t have the right to call myself suicidal. If I’m not that, what am I? If I don’t feel this […]
Today, 09/05, I just turn 25. I am just so blessed for being able to complete another year of my life.
So very blessed.
Today was a day like all days, nothing out of the ordinary. Simple, normal, even monotonous I could say. But it’s ok; it makes me happy just being alive. I make sure my parents hear me saying that. I am so blessed. (help me). I am finishing my Production Engineering course at the end of the year and I am glad. (please help me) this is definitely what I want for my life. I make sure my friends hear me saying that. (somebody) […]
I hate counselling, I hate friendships, and people suck. I just want one person to know how it feels to not want to get out if bed in the morning, to wake up hating yourself and go to bed thinking about how shitty you are and how ugly you look. I am sick of my face and the people I’m surrounded by, I want someone to know what it’s like to feel completely lost and not know what’s wrong and to feel shitty and sad even when everything is going good in your life, I want someone to understand what it’s like to feel like […]