I know its a lie. why do i live it? at every moment of serenity i feel like now i have seen it and now i am gonna maintain it. but only end up in this same wretched state. I am full of confusion. I don’t believe in anything anymore. why? because i am aware of its opposite too…i am aware that opposite also exists and with same conviction. and since both exists, i believe in none. This life as i am living now, i never considered it my true state, my true nature. I always feel like i am living it “just out of […]
As if the time goes “tick tock, tick tock†as if the seconds turn to minutes and the minutes turn to hours and then day by day the sun effects the way you live your life as if now….. You start to rot away!
You begin to write and you turn blank as if you forget how to breathe. You turn pale and flustered as if you turn and a train comes by and your life flashes before one eye…. Opens and you are starring into darkness.
You have horrible nightmares that make you never want to be alone. The darkness takes over your mind and surrounds […]
What makes you want to end it all? That feeling that is sometimes so very hard to even put into words. Words that come to mind are unrelenting pain, lost, left with no sense of hope. It is like you are in a deep dark hole and there is no sign of light, no sign that you will ever get out. You don’t even see the top of the hole because you are so far down deep in the hole and you are all alone. As each day passes – it does just that – they pass you by. People pass by and no […]
“This fairy tale might be based on memories of the Great Famine of 1315 – 1322, which caused millions of deaths by starvation in Northern Europe. Catastrophic weather patterns produced greatly diminished yields in crops. The resulting calamity hit all echelons of society and many incidents of child abandonment and cannibalism have been documented by the chroniclers of the times.
Into this grim landscape come the innocent children, who are fully attuned to the gravity of their situation. Stripped of the protection and security offered by a properly functioning family, the children must make […]
i live with my parents (again) and i’m 28 years old, nearly 29. i work on computers for 40 hours a week. over the past year i have cleared up a lot of debt (largely in part because mom and dad have not charged me rent and put a dinner on the table for me). i’m coming up on a year at my current job; the end of May marks both my 1-year anniversary and my birthday.
about this time last year i was calling the police on some dumb ***** and her self-centered daughter when she threatened my life. i was such a wreck, racing […]
She fell apart over a small error
She lives her life, filled with terror.
She cuts her skin, like it’s paper.
People try, but no one can save her.
She can tie a noose.
She can get a gun.
She can find a knife.
And she’d be gone.
She could drown in a tub.
She could OD on drugs.
She could defy gravity.
But she’s no coward.
So she sits in her head.
Dreaming of dead.
wishing to go.
wanting it to be so.
And so she will wait.
And she will take the pain.
She will stay sane.
As the world goes insane.
Ever […]
flashing back into reality
stomped out by the gravity
every situation ways
more or less its all the same
days go by, time flys by
its a repeated cycle
cant never break the cycle
same shit different day
thats the way it always plays
whats one place from another
wheres the love my hateful brother?
i thought i could be made
if only i played the game
i played it to the end
where i learned you never can win
play to be played and stay to be stayed
who stills the hand and bares the water?
where the love in ever after?
what must be done to change the tide?
to turn back the clock and take the time
no one knows but everyone […]
I’m such a coward…
Everything’s in place for my death, and the only thing holding me back is my fear.
Fear of death, when it’s the only logical way to end all suffering.
Not just my suffering, but my family and friends’ as well.
Everyone’s better off without me, and that’s the truth.
So all I gotta do is jump…
and let gravity do the rest.
Fear is holding my feet to the ground.
You fucking coward…
My mom had at the time helped me to understand the gravity of what happened, what I’ve done, and what the future of my friendship to my friend looked like. My moms prediction- Not good (and if my mom felt something to be true, it was most likely true.) I had felt that I would get an answer like that , but at least I had an answer. (because I knew that my friend’s mouth wasn’t budging and neither was her mother’s.)
My mom had told me that I should let go of my friend, because as she put it was ” Tragically ended.” It pained […]
You see the heart symbolizes so much in both our society and various veins of creative writing. The human heart symbolizes; life, love, emotional anguish, and even endurance (e.g. the durability of the human heart is notoriously difficult to burn/destroy completely).
So an individual that has gone through a lot of emotional and or romantic pain would naturally choose to injure their chest/heart area of the body in order to send a message to the people they left behind, perhaps only one person in particular. […]
I have been alive for a little over 15 years  now.  I’ve laughed countless times, smiled the majority of my life, and cried when it seemed appropriate.  Yet I’ve rarely done any of these with emotion.  I’ve been alive for over a decade and a half but I can’t think of a single time when I was truly living.
I started to realize that I was empty, and that emptiness was suffocating.  It was a tangible force, crushing me to the ground like gravity.  I wanted to feel something…  maybe love or at even agony, just anything but this hollowness inside of me.  I want to be able to […]