Again, it’s me.
I figure I should do a re-cap just so no one gets lost.
My father abandoned my mother and I when I was five months old.
My mother met a new guy when I was four and I caught them having sex. Since that night, she made me watch and take part in sexual activities.
My mother moved me twelve hours away from my last piece of sanity and put me through hell with that new guy.
When I was eight my mother and I were out of a house so she shipped me off to my fathers.
While living with my […]
Tag:
Happiness
I am 25 years old. I have always had problems with depression, with self-harm; I’ve attempted suicide twice, and I promised myself that the third time would be the last; I won’t mess it up, next time. The third time will be the end.
The third time is all I can think about lately. I have lost everything, these past few months. Two years ago, I moved 1000 miles away from home; away from all my family, who spent my entire childhood abusing and neglecting me, and away from all my toxic friends that only dragged me down into their messes. I wanted a fresh start; […]
All of these years I’ve spent trying to make everyone happy. I believed that if I could make them happy, I too could be happy. So I stopped enjoying myself for the time and began focusing on the happiness of those around me. Turns out though, I only further ruin their happiness. My very existence makes people unhappy. No one ever wants to work with me in school groups, even though I do everything for them just to make them happy. I try to be nice to people and socialize, yet I still cannot make people happy. I try to keep a happy outlook and […]
Up there, the thick old album on the bookshelfÂÂ
Shards of our soulsÂ
Stuck under shining plastic
From the shutter that clicked so long ago
Faded memories are shredded
No longer recognized as the past
But merely a different era
Where happiness existed
I want to kill myself.
Awww why you have a perfectly… almost perfectly good life. You’re just going through a bit of a rough time hang in there, its going to get better.
Its not going to get better, I’ve been wanting and waiting for it get better for how many years now… I can’t say I can predict the future but I’ve been understanding my feelings, my death wish, and I want to dies more than ever. I say more than ever, but I cant clearly remember all the reasoning, the beliefs, the crap that led to this point but I can say with confidence that […]
No more, No more
Love the lost that will never be found
Feed our devils that we have created
Feed them until they want more
Never ends, it never ends
Until the day comes to bring us all down
Live the life of pain and despair
With a tint of happiness and reason to care
Expected to do well and make the most out of it
To make the most out something that cannot be dealt with
Only the “creator” as they say can move it all
All the myths and stories here to the call
What the shit are with these fucks?
What the fuck is with this shit.
I am fucking done.
So. Fucking. Done.
The devil is with […]
Depression is a burglar in more ways then one.
It steals all happiness and won’t let you have fun.
Your eyes start to water and your nose begins to run.
Your thoughts envelope you and you scream your done.
My dear your days of depression has soon begun.
You can’t take it anymore you give up,
Depression has won.
I told you I was scared and upset, that I didn’t think I’d be able to do this. I told you about my plans, chewing my lip, knowing you really didn’t care. I told you that too – you got mad, and said that you did. I don’t know how many times I asked you for advice, or for help. You said you’d be here for me, no matter what. But I realized you never were there for me.
I don’t know why I still stick around. You told me you knew. I asked you if things got better, if I even deserved to be […]
Hello! I’m writing this in order to get some help, and be sure that i’ve made the right decision.
I wrote this to another person on another website:Â <<<Â I feel the same as you do/did “Every day I wake up feeling terrible! I don’t want to die,i just don’t want to live like this.” and i felt it since i was your age 17/18 and then i was dreaming about killing myself but i talked to others and i was to weak to take my own life so i said that i’ll wait, that things will get better, two years have passed and i had a big […]
It’s just before 12pm. Â I have only just woken up and I wake up today looking at life like it’s a curse. Â What is the point of living life? Â (Not in a suicidal state of mine). Â I lay here thinking to myself how hard it is to get out of bed to get to the shower or to get downstairs to eat breakfast. Â So I just lay here for longer. Â It is now 1pm. Â I have decided to get up and start going on with my day to day jobs. Â I was meant to go out today but I don’t want to leave the house. […]
I’m bored with everything. I’ve snowboarded from helicopters, climbed many mountains, traveled and been to many places, and work as a molecular biologist. I should not feel the way I do. This should make me a fun and loving person, but instead I always feel empty and alone. I get a lot of attention from women, but nothing ever comes from it because I hate myself and the sadness pours from me. I can’t live like this. Happiness teases me and runs away. Nobody, not even joy wants to have anything to do with me.
I started taking drugs again to spice things up. 30 hits […]
does anybody know how to be happy because i havent put on a real smile since the winter. i want to know what happiness feels like again, im lost in my own depressed, suicidal world and i dont know how to get out. im about to reach my breaking point.
For those who don’t know, Meursault is a character from the famous literary jewel “L’etranger (The Stranger/Outsider), written by Albert Camus, and is pronounced Mur-Sew
The book is famous and controversial because of Meursault’s character (which I won’t explain here; all of you should read the book it’s amazing), which I strongly believe is EXACTLY like how I am becoming right now…
I don’t care anymore. Whether something is ethical or not, what the effects of my actions will be…I feel emotionless (ba-dum, tss), don’t feel pain or happiness, time passes and the only way I know that it does is by the colour of the […]
They ask me if I’m okay knowing that I know what they want me to say. I smile say I’m fine it’s like this everyday. Most of us don’t have a life because depression has literally taken over are life’s. I was so happy.. He made me happy he’s the only guy I will ever trust. I’m a bad girl friend it’s to much for me I can’t help it I was dependent on him for happiness. I told him he would have to leave and start his own life. He told me where ever that is he’d take me with him and now he’s […]
I’m 15 and sad. I know these dark thoughts are bad and I should get help but I honestly don’t want to depend on anyone for my weakness. I don’t know whether im depressed or just sad… all I know is that I feel empty and really dark all the time. I don’t remember when this all started and I don’t know when im getting better. I have self-harmed before and I still do. I remember the first time I took a blade to my wrist I was only 12. At an age like that I should have been happy and going out playing in the sun. […]
Don’t hold you’re breath, I’ve already taken enough of it. I can’t hold on much longer the ropes are killing my hands. I’ve already held on tight enough and I can feel the end. When will it ever be enough. I tried to be that princess, that bad girl, the girl you want. None of it ever worked out so why sit here and torture myself , pretending to be everything you want. Well here it is, the last bottle, the last chance it’s done. I’m done. Goodbye, it’ll never be enough
Someone saved me last week from hanging myself. The loneliness was driving me mad. Yet, here I am again contemplating death. It is my refuge from the emptiness of life.
Now, I want to die because I simply don’t enjoy it. The one person who brought me joy and color to my world is now dead. I’ve been trying to move on and find happiness in the connections of those still alive, but I don’t enjoy spending time with people. Nor do I have the energy to try and find a new close companion.
So, I just sit in my room, waiting. Waiting for something to happen. […]
The mood-enhancing properties of chocolate are well known in both the Muggle and wizard worlds. Chocolate is the perfect antidote for anyone who has been overcome in the presence of Dementors, which suck hope and happiness out of their surroundings. Chocolate can only be a short-term remedy, however. Finding ways to fight off Dementors – or depression – are essential if one is to become permanently happier. Excessive chocolate consumption cannot benefit either Muggle or wizard.
although most here are in the same boat as me… a daily struggle with life and happiness…. I wonder if there is any one here who has come to the point of saying they are glad they did not go through with suicide, and it all gets better.
My question is …Â as you are now in the point in your life where it is all better…. and you are glad you are still alive…. if you knew you had to suffer for another 5, 10, 15 years to get to this point of happiness…. would you still say it is worth it, sticking it out?
It’s […]
I dunno. Life man. I’m so burnt out on this shit. In the past I made a lot of mistakes and now they are finally catching up with me. I have never been happy, but I try. When I was younger I was the fat kid and everybody picked on me. So I had no friends. Then I went to college, did a bunch of drugs, and ended up in a psyche ward. I got my shit together after that and went back to the university. Then I met a girl. Well, I loved her, […]