Does anyone have an answer for being lonely . . . yet hating people?
Tag:
hating
I don’t want to be alive anymore.. I can’t stand feeling like I mean nothing to anyone, can’t bear the weight of meaning nothing to myself.. I can’t stop thinking about what it will feel like to be dead.. I don’t think anyone would miss me..
I have a boyfriend, but he makes me feel so insignificant, so inadequate.. I know he loves me, but I feel so worthless, and it’s only a matter of time until he sees that too.. And he leaves me too.. Dear reader, I love him, and he doesn’t say or do anything to make me feel that way, but he’s […]
I don’t wanna do this anymore I can’t handle it anymore everyone trying to change me into a person I don’t wanna be and it upsets me to be hating myself everyday. Everyone thinks yeah she’s happy she’s smiling but they never ask me if I’m alright or see if I’m upset, why are people judged on the outter look I hate it people thinking they know me and thinking it don’t upset when it does. I hate that people judge me through. I just feel like everyone is against me even though I know their not, I can’t do this anymore I just don’t […]
I can’t find a way to let go of the darkness, can’t find a way to stop hating, can’t find a way to forget. I can’t let go of the memories that have placed a mark upon my soul.
I’ve decided to accept you the way you are. Things you have lost, things you don’t have. I’ve decided to accept you, and continue to live on.
I can’t find someone to love.
God,
will I be able to get married?
I hate my life and everyone surrounding me,I hate everyday because I have to pretend to be happy while I was and still am depressed for the past 12/13 years.I tried to commit suicide once but failed that time I thought it was God’s way of telling me everything will be fine but it wasn’t in fact it got worse.my parents got divorce and I started to blame my mom because she was the one who cheated on my father who was a very committed husband and father as far as I know him.then i started to blame myself for everything.i considered myself as a […]
still sitting here hating everyone and everything…if its just a chemical imbalance then why is it not fixed? yeah things suck but they will not get any better either.
I’ve been struggling for so long. I don’t understand why I hate myself so much. Why I don’t want to live. I want to be done. I want to be peaceful. I hate hating myself. I feel alone. I feel left out. I hate breathing. I feel isolated and alone. I want to go to sleep and never wake up.
I love you.
My love for you is illogical like a person living two lives at the same point in time.
I go crazy thinking about you. Every minute of every day, from the moment I wake up until the moment I go to bed, you circle my mind over and over again.
I ache for you deeply but you know what they say ‘absense makes the heart grow fonder’.
And you know my heart yerns for you.
I hate you. I fucking hate you.
I hate you for tricking me into loving you.
Your social media commentary, the way you would pay extra attention to […]
Next friday is national coming out day and in my schools GSA we are sharing our stories… I don’t know what to do because I want to share for support but I don’t want my family to find out. After all my family is a bible thumping, gay hating, type of people.
I hate it so much. There is simply no space in the world for a giant man in a dress. That’s what I am. A giant man in a dress. I am tired of feeling jealous of women, tired of feeling like I can’t catch my breath. Anxiety constantly. It feels like there is no hope, nowhere for me to go. I feel like such a freak. I’m tired of hating the way I look, tired of hating that there’s nothing I can do about it, just tired. I’m exhausted from self loathing. I don’t know how much more pain I can take. There is […]
Isn’t it funny how I’m breaking to pieces, crying every night, cutting, puking, hating, dying, but no one notices. Not my parents, not my friends and not my siblings even though they ALL now how I feel, that I’m depressed, that I cut and that I have an eating disorder but, they all think I’m better and fine now. It’s like no one notices me. No one pays attention even though I can be so obvious. I’ve been depressed since I was 11. Wake up. I’m 15 now and no one has realized that I’m still the same. No wait that’s a lie. A teacher […]
I always knew how things were going to turn out. I didn’t quite know when but I knew how. I knew that if something didn’t happen that caused my death, It would happen by my hands. I honestly do not have the courage to do it and I admire the people who do. I just thought that if things got bad enough, I would find the courage. Though I have not yet found it, I feel that I am close.
I am convinced that I am loosing it. In the past couple of years, I have just become such an angry human being that I have […]
Almost a year, time is passing and I’m stuck here waiting for I-dunno-what to accomplish my plan.
Months , crying, hurting myself, blaming myself, feelin’ sorry for myself, suffering for the choices I’ve made, suffering for the things I’ve done and hating every fuckin’ part of me.
There are things in my life I can’t change, I refuse to deal with that.I’m NOT STRONG ENOUGH, and there’s nothing wrong with that, IT’S OK GIVING UP SOMETIMES!.
It’s ok.
I just gave up, just gave up.
Planned my suicide, everything is settled down, I’ve got what I needed, I’m supposed to kill myself last month, but […]
I’m positive that feeling alone is universal, but that seems to be the force behind my depression. Like being together with people yet being isolated. As if I purposely hold myself back from being alive or living metaphorically of course. To me life is punishment. ironically I am a hypocritical hypocrite. I say I hate stuff and then I do that stuff and hate myself for hating to do it will hating myself for thing my self. Did any of that make sense? Self loathing comes and goes a lot, but I sit here thinking of obscure ways to end it all….and I stare at my […]
I’m tired of it all. Tired of everything. im sickand tired of hoping, of trying, of fighting foranything anymore. I don’t see the point. I’mtired of people saying things get better, sayingthat xyz will happen just be patient. I’m tired of people not understanding-of just saying I’m overreacting to little things. I’m tired of notfitting in, I’m tired of hating myself, I’m tired ofhating people, I’m tired of hating life. I’m tired of everything in life being sugar coated, I’m tired of the lies, I’m tired of false hopes. I don’t want to do it anymore. im just so tired and done with everything. i don’t want to think anymore. i don’t want to be me, i dont want tolive life, i dont want to be in this life or this world. im tired of just trying to keep myself from reaching an actual point where im ready to follow through with suicide.
i dont want to be. i just want it all to stop. idon’t want to deal. i wish i could just putmyself in a self-induced coma. i dont want tobe stuck alone anymore in this body with mythoughts trapped in this world. i cant do itanymore…i dont even know why im not throughouly suicidal right now. i can’t do it anymore….i don’t want to do it. i don’t want to try or pretend to be okay for some period of time just to end up right back here again. i just deceive myself and latch on to false hopes and stupid fantasies to get by…im done
Now I sit alone at the library. The question keeps running through my head “Were is there to go when you can’t go home?”
 I had been getting better. The seroquel, miracle pills, had been working. Yeah I wasn’t normal, not even close, but they helped. While they do nothing in the way of suicidal fanticies they had helped my be less violent, less angry, less of bitchy me.
That time is gone. They stopped working. I’m not weak. I’m not the kind of person who sits and cries. I don’t feel the need to whine about it’s not fair. I’m just… pissed.
So I’m stuck here. Waiting and […]
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