The old me held on to hatred
The new me holds on to love
The old me would hurt others on a whim
The new me tries to help others whenever possible
The old me hated the world
The new me loves the world
The old me embraced the Darkness
The new me embraces the Light
The old me signed a contract with the Devil
The new me has given himself to Life
The old me thought that he was a god
The new me knows that he is a servant
The old me was a masochist
The new me is an optimistÂ
The old […]
Tag:
Hatred
With this hatred I stand
with a razor in hand
To see my final plan through
I wish I could see
The pain in which you’ll be
When you see that I’m through
The day has gone by
And now I will die
With your picture in my hand
But don’t think I’ll rest
It was not meant for us to last
But I’ll be sure to haunt you in your dreams
You’ll think of days that went by
Without a tear in your eye
And hope that theyll come back
But you know in your heart
That black hole of remorse
That you’ll never be […]
Middle of the night you wake up, sweaty, confused, afraid. That same old feeling of dread hits you. Why can’t you sleep? Every night it’s the same fuckin thing.
You wake up hating yourself and wishing you were dead, you start to think of Cutting, that always works.
But tonight Cutting doesn’t help, you are overwhelmed by a strong hatred for your life and a desperate need to kill yourself.
You remember the Plan
You dig around, it’s here somewhere, you wrote it yourself, you knew it would come in handy one of these days.
As you read your own hand writing you are drawn to a happier […]
I wrote2 posts, but the hatred and depression and stuff keep coming back.
written by RogueShadow1281
It’s been a few hours after my last post. I am tired of this shit. I’m tired of living, I hate life. No point in having one. God is a false deity. The idea that God is Satan is very thorough, but I still don’t believe in a god. Or else he’s past insane. He keeps repeating human’s course over billions and billions of people and never is there a right person. Everyone is evil. I wonder what was Jesus’ motives. He was probably filling his ego. Maybe he was brainwashed.Â
I hope to join the army in 1 1/2 years. That’s too far away, though. […]
Fly with me by Flyleaf is stuck in my head. It’s a good song, with a lovely voice.
written by RogueShadow1281
I sit here, reading stories and texting my beautiful cousin. She has begun to flirt with me, while everyone told me I should be asking for sex with my cousin as an ill-attempt for her to feel closer to me. I revealed my sexual fantasies and what-not to her, and she has begun to like me back. I feel high, for some odd reason. The term perma-fried is going through my mind meaning I’m always high, maybe it’s finally finding happiness.Â
I just hope that happiness lasts. I love her so much, I wish I could ask her to be my girlfriend. I would take her […]
i am lost. i feel like i have no home. im 13 years old and i dont want to be here anymore. ive lived in north america all my life, and 6 months ago i moved here, to europe. since then, i feel like i havent made any friends, while my pretty and skinny and sporty sisters have. im never included, and i feel like i have no place in this world. my sister that ive always been able to talk to has tured away, because she has gotten a boyfriend. he drinks . alot and gets drunk very often. shes turned away from me, […]
These thoughts are out of control,I’m going to my therapist later and i just don’t know how to describe these feeling,I’m a tell her i don’t wanna be on meds ne more, cause there not helping, i’ve tried and tried to push , but i losing strength, I feel hopeless these thoughts will always come back, cause i let them, but it only because the feel so raw and true. I believe what you say, i just don’t believe it forever, you lost it, you lost everything, my love is gone and the only thing i feel is hatred to myself and life,, I don’t […]
Maybe in heaven, there will be understanding.
Understanding of the motives of each and everyone.
Understanding why they feel the way they feel.
Maybe it will be more than understanding, maybe you will get a first person glimpse of what it is like to be someone else.
Connecting of each other to form a peaceful, heavenly bond.
Madness, disappointment, RAGE, hatred, disgust, FEAR, sadness, grief, humiliation, shyness, cowardliness, regret, sorrow, loneliness, Physical pain, emotional pain, stress, turmoil, suffering, HOPELESSNESS, nonsense, will be overcame.
Maybe in heaven, things will all make sense. It will all PUZZLE together.
Why there is pain.
Pain adds character. Pain breeds experience, wisdom, knowledge, meaning, bravery and resilience.
Pain makes […]
Something stands behind you
Blood comes dripping down
Blessings of the hatred
Falling to the ground
Looking for the demon
Chasing you it lurks
Bathing in the nonsenseÂ
It says it doesn’t hurt
Paths that lead to nowhere
Leave no tracks behind
Darkness folds beyond you
you struggle to survive
In the darkness binds you
A great and savage fear
No one else shall find you
As long as it is here
You grasp for you’re own sanity
In which you only see behind
A shadow of you’re enemy
A shape in which you recognize
It follows tracks endlessly
never tired from the chase
No matter what it keeps it’s […]
im done with everyone everthing no one gives a fuck anymore so take my things and burn them stab me in the heart with all ur rage show me ur hatred
so now my boyfriend thhe lvoe of my life hates me now cuz of u that one certain boy who was out to make my life a living hell you know what now its a dead hell
you sent him those pics i sent long ago but now im gone so raise ur glass to the death ull never miss….. nd to u my love im sorry <3
I feel like dealing with not being loved is so much harder than dealing with an act of hatred or violence. I was molested as a child and beaten for years, but the scars that remain aren’t from those acts (which came from my brother), but from the fact that I never felt loved as a child by my father and brother. That’s the hurt that I have to live with and that has wrecked my self-esteem.
My father never did any fatherly things with me, like kick a ball with me, come watch me play, do homework with me or anything like that… He always made […]
I’m sick and tired of putting on an act every day of my worthless life.. to my friends and family I am just a happy 20 year old guy.. inside im fucking dying, i can’t find any good in this world no matter how hard I try and I certainly wouldn’t dare express my opinions of this messed up world to my friends or family, as it would be alien.
Im living a lie and cheat myself time and time again, have fuck all motivation….I feel a hatred that nobody knows I feel… everything and everyone seems to get on my nerves. I want to leave […]
people ask me why im so angry, when theywant to know me, i tell them they cant know me,for one i dont even know myself,usualyy when i think i figured it out things go down hill, i turn my hurt into anger cause it feels better then pain to me,i dont trust anyone,i push people away cause i want to hurt them before they hurt me,cause i cant take the damage,i wear masks,i never act how i really feel,this is what life fucking did to me,if i ever become something great in life im gonna fuck everyone that has hurt me over,my rage is hidden […]
How should I start off? Well here it goes, hi I am a international student (18 years old) and I am to graduate this year in May. The thing is I have never had friends since I was in the 7th grade, which was when my so called friends decided that it was cool to bully and ignore me. The one moment that still lasts in my head was the field trip… and it still plays in my head like a recurring nightmare… going on the train with my ex-friends and getting bullied throughout the field trip. Not only that but sleeping a spare tent […]
I was sexually molested(hurt) the first time at 4 years old. This continued until the age of 15, when at last my mother died. MY life has been screwed up since I was a little child. Could’nt make it in school. Joined the Army, got a bad discharge. Started robbing people to survive, went to jail. Got married, had two children. I was sent overseas, when I returned home, my wife and daughters were gone, she had run away with our neighbor. I had been using drugs for a long time, I increased use dramatically. Went to rehab, found out I had bipol disorder. tried […]
This prayer really touched my heart.
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love.
Where there is injury, pardon.
Where there is doubt, faith.
Where there is despair, hope.
Where there is darkness, light.
Where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console;
to be understood, as to understand;
to be loved, as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive.
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.
Amen.
I thought I was nothing once…
It seemed I was a small, insignificant part of the world, and when I died everything would keep moving forward as if I didn’t ever existed in the first place. My hopelessness… my struggles… they were all too much for me. I was ready to die, not knowing what was on the other side, but hoping it was better than the hell I was living.
I was two years old when my parents divorced. I was the daughter of a 24 year old Sunday School Teacher and a beautiful 18 year old High School Graduate, but others in our community […]
I hAte my life. No one ever tries to listen and I feel worthless. I hVe nger problems and maybe depression and bi-polar. My mom tries to make it work between us but it always goes wrong. We fight everyday. She never Gets me help with my anger. Everyone gates me and can’t stand to be around me. I’m not trying to make them hate me I’m not saying mean things. I’m just being me. No one ever listens or even tries. The next gun I see im going to shoot myself in the heart or brAin! Which ones faster? My dad never wanted me. […]
I actually am quite unsure about what to do. My life seems so normal on the surface, and I don’t have any mental problems (at least I think so.)
But I lost my dad two years ago, he killed himself with the exhaust fumes of his car, not telling anyone what he was going to do before. All he left was a note saying ‘I’m sorry.’ and his flat keys.
And ever since that, I haven’t been the same. Sure, I guess I can still talk to people normally and am fairly intelligent, but everything inside me just feels so numb. Most of the time I […]
My thoughts of suicide started when I was 13 years old.
 I made a friend through a connection with another friend, and she was awesome (at first). I found out a month into our friendship that she did drugs. I encouraged her to stop, but since she was 5 years older than me she was too self- absorbed to listen. So, one night she slept over my house, and curiosity got the best of me, and I tried the drugs. It was… wonderful, to say the least. So more ‘sleepovers’ were planned afterwards. If I can recall correctly, it was about the third time she slept […]
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