I like to listen to what faces have to say, especially when their mouths are shut. The Man in Black has a face that makes you lean in closer and listen. I want to hear.
Life is the same. Depressing and shit. Blah blah blah. Nobody cares what I say, with or without words. No one leans in closer. No one asks questions even after I offer the answers. Because it’s the same old shit. People want a problem to solve, […]
she’s hopless
she lies to keep herself alive
no one bears to see her pain
breaking everyday
everything is broken before her eyes
she feels trapped and hidden
no ones out to hear her
shes gave up so many times
its a dream for her to never wake up again
God if your really up there help her disappear
what’s left of me here?
just a brighter world and less fear
she wishes all day she can suddenly die
hoping for a way out of this hell hole
hoping someone can understand her pain
your still with us 🙂
now it’s kind of creepy because I had a dream on Friday that someone did something to them self I think they stabbed them self with something I can’t remember what happened but now I know the dream was about Ylem weird
it was great to hear from u
my twin 🙂 it put a smile on my face
If you tuned in on THIS POST, you not only got to hear me sing 197 digits of Pi at three in the morning, but you also got to hear me explain that I am going to spend my Friday drinking vodka and becoming (hopefully) less coherent as the night progresses.
I’ll spend most of my time here, but might drop a comment on your posts too, if you’d like. I promise to try to be on my best behavior if I visit you, but here on this post I may well descend into the […]
been in the darkness so long so the darkness is what I became
my world is dark only one way to release the pain
i befriened the steel in the darkness she knows how to ease my pain
alone in the dark no one can hear you scream you can open your mouth but no sound comes out
physical pain is my only release
alone in the dark with the demons and me
The river runs red but it all in my head
I’m nobody’s child, I’m nobody’s child
I’m like a flower just growing wild
No mommy’s kisses and no daddy’s smiles
Nobody wants me, I’m nobody’s child
I just can’t seem to understand
Why the folks all pass me by
‘Cause I know that it’s true that God takes
Little blind children with him in the sky
And they tell me that I’m oh so pretty
And they seem to like my big curls of gold
But then they take some other little child
Its seems everyone is having a bad time right now, I now I am, nutty is out (I really hope not for long…) I and everyone else is worried for him, I feel so low right now and yet taking my life just doesn’t seem like the thing to do.
So I will endure for nut and everyone else and for myself (not sure why¿) …but I really dont know what else to do anymore…
How is everyone by the way, I can probably assume not very well but I do want to hear from you.
You finally messaged me back after a year of avoiding me. I’ve contacted you contless times in the last year’s span. To never hear back from you until now. I’m reading your message and I’m happy for you. I want to know about everything you’ve endoured. How you became the person you are now. What it took. Im glad that I got you there. I’m glad that I affected your life that positively. I’m happy for you Jordan. I’m happy that you replied back this time after so long. We are like each others drug. Relapsing in time.
Sincerely,
Brianna.
Do you ever hear a song from a happy time in your life and it almost kills you – because you’ve changed so much and the happiness you had is long long gone and IT AIN’T EVER COMING BACK.
The Count begins and ends at Zero.
They don’t see,
don’t hear,
don’t feel
don’t understand… US!
With gouged eyes,
crushed throats,
scarred hearts
and broken minds… Scream and Cuss!
High on their happy ignorance,
arrogance blinds them
to the reason.
Treated like lepers,
only we see the truth
falsified as lies.
In the name of progress,
they dance off the cliff called Advancement.
In the name of freedom,
we run to the embrace called Death.
They desire power.
We desire peace.
That’s what I’ve decided to give myself. I’ve got until the end of April to turn things around or I’m calling it quits.
I haven’t had any significant work in 8 months now and while I’m still waiting to hear back about a couple longer term contracts, I’m completely out of money so if I don’t get these, I can’t go on living. I can’t even just go get a regular Joe job either because of my physical disability.
So that’s it. End of this month I’m giving notice for my place and all of April is basically going to be an Everything Must Go Fire sale. […]
Of a lenghty e-mail reply. And the Wi-Fi connection to the lap top here decided to shit out. I’ve spent 3 hours trying to type. I’m unable to reset the internet until everyone is done using it. It’s just the lap top is having troubles troubleshooting.
I haven’t showered today. I ate however. Enjoying a beer, listening to clasical piano. My mother has been screaming and yelling all night. I told her something simple and she bit my head off pretty much. And has continued to bite my head of. Jesus woman calm down before I bite your head off. I would have so much to […]
I’m losing it. I’m breaking. I can’t sleep. The moments I do pass out I find myself suddenly awake. Like when you have a nightmare. Or hear a loud noise. I need to find somewhere else to go. I need to leave this place. I can’t go on like this. I want to die. I want it to end. As if being trapped in my head was bad enough. I’m reliving this nightmare. And I just want to dream.
Some one could plzzzzz tell me the name of the orchastration playing in Raja 2003’s background trailer with cello/violin, its a Film Movement movie (youtube it or google) and I just love the sound…
Which music calms the nerves PPL, ya kno like David played his harp to keep king Saul(?) from killing him, we can play/hear it to stop ourselves…especially with such gorgeous pieces as the one in RAJA plz someone name it…!
Loosely-gathered thoughts on this exhausting day:
I might not be able to post this, since the site has been wonky for me lately. Some days it doesn’t let me post. I emailed the admins about it but haven’t heard back.
I am glad beaubri is still here.
It’s 11:00 at night and I have not eaten anything all day long. I should probably have something.
Has anyone heard from ToTrees lately? I know his MRI was Monday, and I haven’t heard from him since Sunday, I think.
My own MRI is in about nine days, and I’m trying to distract myself by writing more music. I may post it here […]
I play piano and it really helps take my mind off of things. I’m always running out of things to play, or stuck at current pieces I’m working on. So I thought, to help practice and to distract my mind, maybe i should start uploading piano request videos.
So, name a song, any song you would like to hear. Hopefully i can put something together within 24 hours.
(I also do guitar)
hey folks…
Did anyone else ever have that (day-)dream by being adopted in an animal family?
I had that strange dream….running away from all of the human pain..finally a group of wolves adopted me. I could hear their thoughts in my mind, and vice versa. Wild animals took care of me. I was allowed to be part of the wolf pack…I was allowed to lean on to those amazing animals during the night, in a cave…safe and warm…and the animals (not just wolves) protected me from men, whenever they tried to get me. I felt warm. I felt safe. Like a little child, growing up […]
Does love really exist? I’ve wondered this many times. When I’ve dated guys and felt nice around them. When I’m with my grandma. When I think of dad. But then this feeling of emptiness comes along, and i hated it. Is that what love’s supposed to be? Emptiness? Why? Does mom feel like that when she thinks of me -if she ever does-? I hope not. I want her to only see the small good things I’ve done. they’re not so many but they’re something. Right? giving up my freedom wasn’t nothing, Right? God! If I had a dying wish it would be to hear […]
http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/B00ZBBHI1M_disc_1_12_-_Song_For_Josh.mp3
My favourite musician is a chap called Frank Turner. He wrote this – ‘A Song for Josh’ – after finding out that a good friend of his had committed suicide. Josh was a member of the security team at a venue in New York which Frank has played numerous times. It’s all the more poignant because this live recording was made at the same venue on the anniversary of his death and adds an additional layer of emotion which you’ll hear in his voice as he sings.
It’s not anti-suicide rant or anything like that, but more of an ‘I wish he’d just talked to […]
Sometimes when I close my eyes
I can hear a demon telling me lies
I know his words are not true
His words are only lies about you
Before he finishes what he wants to say
I ignore and order him to go away
He laughs and says his goodbyes
But I know those are also lies
No matter how many lies he weaves
I ignore them until he leaves
But one day I heard the closing of a door
Since then I could not hear him anymore
Finally the demon has given up
Finally the demon’s lies has stopped
But where and why did he go
That’s an answer I do wish to know
I do not see any reason […]
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