It seems as though things start out great then they just go down hill and I can’t seem to make things work. I know in my head that I’m not a bad person, but in my heart I feel like I’m the worst person in the world. Everything I touch just turns to shit and I’m tried of having everyone feel like they always have to be there to pick me up and I just keep falling. I feel like I’m bring them down with me and I just want them to be happy. Their lives would be so much better if I weren’t here […]
Tag:
Heart
Is it bad to say that you would rather be dead than to be without the love of your life your whole life?
I don’t think I’m going to be with the love of my life forever I just can’t handle thinking that cause I love her with all my heart
I still recall the taste of your tears
Echoing your voice just like the ringing in my ears
My favorite dreams of you still wash ashore
Scraping through my head ’till I don’t want to sleep
Anymore
You make this all go away
You make this all go away
I’m down to just one thing
And i’m starting to scare myself
You make this all go away
You make this all go way
I just want something
I just want something I can never have
You always were the one to show me how
Back then I couldn’t do the things that I can do now
This […]
I just wrote in here a few time before. I just recently was dealt a huge blow my husband asked for a divorce bc he didnt feel like our relationship was going anywhere positive. I packed all my stuff n he helped and moved back home. It’s been a week, today is my birthday. He didn’t even bother to call or text. I’m hurt. I am so upset. I’m trying to stay positive but the hurt the loneliness its killing me inside. I hate that I miss n want him but I can’t help my feelings. I also hate him for not reaching out to […]
It never gets better.
Maybe it does for others, but not for me.
When I was younger I heard a song that said “love heals the heart,” and I protested, saying that it only seems to heal the heart, and just brings more pain. The last year had changed my mind. My boyfriend is great. Finally felt safe. But now I’m realizing I was right. I love him. So much. Yet he still brings pain. I mean we all do, I guess. But it’s so unfair.
He hurt himself again tonight. 10 minutes after the promise not to expired. I was planning on renewing the […]
I wrote this song about bullying and suicide. I hope that you will like it and I hope that it will help to sooth and educate people on bullying and suicide. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kn9NaB43C8A
Regrets collect like old friends
Here to relive your darkest moments
I can see no way, I can see no way
And all of the ghouls come out to play
Every demon wants his pound of flesh
But I like to keep some things to myself
I like to keep my issues drawn
It’s always darkest before the dawn
And I’ve been a fool and I’ve been blind
I can never leave the past behind
I can see no way, I can see no way
I’m always dragging that horse around
All of these questions’ such a mournful sound
Tonight I’m gonna bury that horse in the ground
Male, 18, Black, 5’9, 265
Atlanta, Georgia
Tonight is the night. It was inevitable really. LOL i finally realized that i will die from stabbing myself repeatedly in the neck. Why? Who cares? I’m ugly and fat which will never get me women. I have a terrible evil personality that comes out when i hang out with people too much. I’m just going to wind up hurting myself even more or others if i just don’t get it over with. It’s really not the big of a deal, if God does exist he’ll be just send me to hell and I can move on with my life. […]
I get a bunch of crap from a lot of people. I have been hurt all my life… I never got used to it. My dad calls me crap, tells me I’m not worth a place on Earth. My mom shoves God down my throat 24/7. My brother makes jokes about suicide a lot. I have to lie to my family, act like everything is fine. I told my grandma about my friends cutting to see what she thinks about cutting before I told her that I do it. She responded ” Oh My God, why would anyone cut, Â Its so disgusting.” I ended up […]
I don’t need you advice! I don’t need you sympathy! I just want you to LISTEN!
I don’t do this ’cause I want attention, well not from the world, but from you.
I just want to hear you say “I LOVE YOU” and mean it with all your heart!
Did you know that every time we talk on the phone I can’t wait to hear you say “I LOVE YOU“.
Sometimes that is the only reason I call, but sometimes it never comes.
People say that “Love” is thrown around so much that it means less.
Not to me!
Every time I hear […]
I may have fallen once again for him. Maybe I’m stupid… actually I am. I’m not saying he will break my heart but from all he’s said and done, it’s going to take a long time to fix “us”. I don’t trust him but I love him. I have faith that we will be together for a long time, but I did think that last time. I honestly don’t know what to think, I guess I’m just going to go with it this time. At least if he does fuck me over, I’ll know what to expect this time.
Then again sometime the thought of him never coming into my […]
Yeah, because finding you dead, being shocked at what they see, calling your name, not hearing your voice, trying to wake you up, not feeling your warm skin or breath anymore, freaking out, shouting for help, crying, trying to get you to talk to them again, asking if you’re okay, wondering why you refuse to at least tell them to fuck off, calling the paramedics over, calling the cops, family friends and neighbors are now like WTF, the medics put their compassion to 300% for everyone’s sakes, the police give their part to determine malicious intent or otherwise, they try breathing life into you, they […]
Mitch Lucker’s death really hit me hard. I cried over his death like I should have a family members’. Â A lot of people say how can a band change your life, before one did…I thought the same. But when a band or maybe just a single song changes your life…you just know. Suicide Silence and Mitch Lucker in general are one of the bands that made me who I am. Changed my life really.
RIP Mitch we will miss you. You changed my life and so many others, thank you <3
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
The love of my life lives in Kansas….I live in North Carolina. We have been off and on for almost a year now. We got back together about 2 months ago then he broke up with me. I fell back into cutting and pills. He swore he didn’t like anyone else, it was just the distance. He asked out my best friend 2 days after he told me that. I want to fucking hate him so much….but I can’t. He doesn’t know I know. I promised him I wouldn’t cut or get high…..yet my arm is filled with new scars and my pill bottles are […]
I’ve kept this facade of being happy in school for so long, so when I was telling my friend about this (she’s kind of my best friend), she asked me is this how I really am?
Like happy( that’s how I come across in school) and can make people laugh because of my randomness.
But I told her at home I’m not happy because everything is tense and well… NOT happy…
I wish I could tell her EVERYTHING…but I literally CAN’T, like I get this cold felling that spreads from my finger tips everywhere. And I can’t always rely on people to listen to […]
There Is so much pressure on my heart I’m surprised I’m not dead cause of It…..sadly.
When the only thinq you have left Is pride and then when thats taken away from you what then?I keep thinkinq back In April (a few days before my birthday) my friend made a comment about his qirl and I and I told him *****’s just *****.He qot pissed and his qirl wanted to “fiqht” me.After that we started drivinq back to our side and It was dead silent.He went to my house to drop me off,Instead I qot out the car and he followed me.We talked.I’m tellinq him dude […]
I can’t help it. I just can’t stand it anymore. I’m so alone… There’s no one for me. No one to care, no one to help, no one to even just see.
My friends have been ignoring me, and I don’t know why. I know I’ve snapped a few times, but they have too. And now, one of them, one of the two who mean the most to me, hates me–at the very least. I want to say is was because he wouldn’t communicate with me. I feel like he’s blaming me for everything that happened, and I hate it. I get blamed for enough […]
everythings supposed to be perfect. i have the most amazing boyfriend ever but… i still want to cut and puke. i cant eat normal even though he begs me to. im still depressed. i still want to die. i still feel fucking empty like i dont exist…. WHY? this was supposed to fix everything having my best friend in the whole universe as my boyfriend but somethings wrong. i just wanna starve, cut and die but he wont let me.
i dont know how much longer i can last
I, like many other people, am a “lucky” person.
I have a great family, everything I could want and more, many friends who are supportive of me, and a good life in general.
Yet, all the while, I feel this emptiness inside me where emotions should be. Whenever I feel “happy”, it’s more close to feeling something close to happiness, almost like its shadow. If emotions were people, they would come knocking on the door of my heart, then before I can open the door and let it in, it leaves, making me feel something ALMOST like emotions.
Am I becoming heartless? Unable to feel any […]