I sit alone crying and afraid to be hurt in the next minute. Then, it hits me. No one likes me, no one helps me, NO ONE F***ING CARES NOR WANTS ME. WHY BOT JUST END IT! WHY WONT I DO IT! I WANT IT!
The only reason why I haven’t killed myself yet is my mother. She’d be crushed, and I don’t want to hurt anyone because of me killing myself.. I’m probably just going through a “phase”.. Well that’s what I hope… It sucks, I feel like I have a pretty bright future ahead of me: good grades, great Offensive Tackle, But I have basically 3 friends, and one of them is just done with me, and I don’t know how I fucked up so bad.. But some things are too much, my stepdad having stage 3 kidney cancer.. And earlier tonight, my “friend” had just said that […]
Hello everyone, I am trying to develop an app to help those who are suicidal on a regular basis (such as myself.) I wanted to ask you a few questions if that is okay, and from your help this app can actually happen one day. 🙂 (Some of these questions are appropriated from metanoia.org. Check it out if you have time.)
What makes it so hard for you to stay?
What do you view suicide as?
How would you commit suicide?
On average, 6 people are intimately affected by the suicide of a friend, family member, etc. Who do you think would miss you the most? (Can be […]
My depression gets worst everyday I cry every night I don’t cut myself everyday but I do every week I haven’t told anyone and I’m scared if I don’t get help that one day when I don’t want help and someone helps me I’ll ignore them everyday I want to kill myself I’m just scared to commit suicide I don’t think I could do that to everyone who loves and cares about me and if one day I can’t take it anymore I think I’ll actually kill myself I feel so lonely I just want someone to be there for me so I can know […]
So im still doing these personality/life readings. this is for anyone who is questioning a lot of things. doubting. I’ve been there and now see things a different way 🙂
I can tell most people are planning out how to commit. try this out before planning, which I hope you guys don’t succeed. know there are people who actually care, even though it may not seem like it.hope this helps you all.
So im still doing these personality/life readings. this is for anyone who is questioning a lot of things. doubting. I’ve been there and now see things a different way 🙂
I can tell most people are planning out how to commit. try this out before planning, which I hope you guys don’t succeed. know there are people who actually care, even though it may not seem like it.hope this helps you all.
Just thought I’d share my story, I’m not gonna be overly dramatic or emotional as I am very logical and rational for the most part, I am going to go off in a million directions and you will almost certainly think me bonkers before the end. I’m not asking for help or empathy, in fact I hope that what I put down on this webpage helps shed some light on others problems and the problems society faces on a whole, sounds a bit haughty I know.
Diving right in, myself, my eldest brother and sister engaged in some somewhat sexual activities at the ages of […]
so i started to cut myself. My sister found out and wanted to talk to me. She asked me why do i do it and i couldnt tell her…i couldnt tell her that the pain from cuts makes me forget about my mental pain, it also kind of feels good. i just told her “i dont know” and kept quiet. I promised her not to do it anymore, but i couldnt keep that promise. Instead, I now have scars on my legs. Much deeper scars. and it helps.
The slam poetry scene in my state has been a veritable haven when I can actually get myself to attend an open mic/slam feature night. I hope this poem can help at least one person like it did for me.
Kait Rokowski – “A Good Day”
http://youtu.be/TjjaIwVxfTw (to see her recite it)
Yesterday, I spent 60 dollars on groceries,
took the bus home,
carried both bags with two good arms back to my studio apartment
and cooked myself dinner.
You and I may have different definitions of a good day.
This week, I paid my rent and my credit card bill,
worked 60 hours between […]
and it’s so painful to see you in such despair.
That this must be our cross to bear, what brings us together as perfect strangers. The black dog on our shoulder. Wish it could be anything else for all of us.
I spent all night last night reading through posts and comments. When I came in I was crying for myself, hoping not to feel the end of my rope once more. I went to bed crying for others, hoping they can somehow find their way back up their rope, and if not, that they can find in death the peace they so crave and deserve. I […]
I’m still around. Figuring things out one day at a time. Engaging in things that while not the best for me help me get through the day. Harm reduction is important. If stupid flirting helps me get through or a cigarette or a drink then yes let’s do this. I’m not dependent on them but they help.
I make it to work, even make it on time some days. But I get my work done and there aren’t too many things that I am lagging in. I mean I know some things fall at the way side but I can’t figure out how to stop it.
Time […]
I was just going over some old stories I wrote (or wrote most of, at least) and I can’t figure out what changed. I used to be able to sit down and write a story that, I was told, was well written and intriguing. I don’t know what changed, but I can’t even sit down to write the final three chapters of a book I know the ending to. Well, it’s technically a graphic novel, one of two that I almost finished, and only because they were my only fantasy stories and sometimes painting the world works better than trying to describe it with words. […]
Been a long week at work. I don’t want to get into it and still have 39 days until I can see a doctor and start getting help. Who wants to play a game I made up to help me through the hard times?
It’s called “Have To/Get To” and you list one thing you will never HAVE to do again if you kill yourself, but then you list two things you will never GET to do again once you’re dead. I don’t know why, but it helps me so I figured I would share with you guys.
Here’s mine:
I will never have to be laughed at by […]
Amongst other things my doc has fed me a steady diet of benzos. Not sure if it helps or hurts. It helps with anxiety maybe makes depression worse. They are pretty safe but im sure they are harmful. Sometimes i stare at the bottle and wonder… so peaceful so obtainable so tempting…
Well, it’s been a while since I was last here. I think my last post was a video of me briefly rambling about dark shit. Some of you may also remember me as Buscetti or whatever, but I’m doing a name change.
I’d like to start a new YouTube channel to occasionally post mostly about the stuff you’re all probably familiar with…depression, anxiety, self harm, abuse, PTSD…bla bla bla. I apologize for not showing my face, but when I start talking about things more in depth, especially the abuse part…I’d like to stay as anonymous as possible. I’ll be honest I’ve been really struggling with suicidal thoughts again and […]
I think that the thing with this site is we all stand together. Personally I rarely see a post where someone doesn’t reply. All of us go through shit, and yet we always reply. And that I believe helps us. Responding to someone else helps us help oursleves. I don’t know if that makes any sense to anyone else…
Some days I’m ok, some I’m severely depressed and others I just want to die! Brain injury is a strange and vicious *****!!! Tattoos, music and spending time with the very few friends I have left helps me thru, no Dr’s, no drugs except weed:) and a few shots of JD!!!
I’m writing to you here because I wanted to be sure you got my message. Sorry I couldn’t respond earlier- no internet at home.
I’m sorry you are facing homelessness, depression, loneliness, hunger AND finding a place for you dog! This is a lot to deal with!! I can understand how terrible loneliness is- I am too. And the feeling of not knowing what to do, esp, when options are few? OH ! Not something I’d wish on an enemy.
So, what can you do? I’m glad you posted. Venting it, journaling about it can help.
When I read your words, two things that strike me. Finding a place for you to […]
I haven’t been coming to this site for long, but I see a lot of people posting that they’re about to kill themselves. And then they never post anything ever again. What am I supposed to think? Did they go through with it? Or was it all just a bunch of bullshit? I’m not naïve and I realize this is the internet, but it helps me in my own struggles when I know that others are still out there fighting their demons. Does this bother anyone else or is it just me? We really are all fighting this shit together, just different circumstances.
p.s. worthless_loser73 if […]
The world has been comming down on me for a long time now and i cannot keep up with it anymore, i hurt physically and emotionally and nothing helps, 15+ years of feeling terrable And i cannot keep going. Dose anyone have a reason to keep going? Probably not. So if anyone would like to help me do myself in that would a big help. I have tried but i guess not hard enough.