he doesn’t want me anymore.. no one wants me.. I’m not kidding if I can’t have him no one will want me. he was the only one willing to accept my flaws in life.. to accept my physical flaws. in fact he loved them! he fucking loved them.. he loved me but I fucked him over. I didn’t even want to. and now because of that I chose to leave the only one who would accept me for who I was and actually find me attractive. I fucked myself so I guess I can’t complain. I couldn’t even get anyone else.. plus he was my […]
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Honey
I know the feeling
Of finding yourself stuck out on the ledge
And there ain’t no healing
From cuttin’ yourself with the jagged edge
I’m tellin’ you that it’s never that bad
And take it from someone who’s been where your at
You’re laid out on the floor and you’re not sure
You can take this anymore
So just give it one more try
With a lullaby
And turn this up on the radio
If you can hear me now
I’m reachin’ out to let you know
That you’re not alone
And you can’t tell, I’m scared as hell
‘Cause I can’t get you on the telephone
I’ve always gone back, to the place where I once sat and cried. I can remember the pain, watching all the little kids play and me just sitting there and wanting one to come over and ask if I would like to play with them. I remember when I sat on the swing and watch the girls play jump-rope and the boys played one their game-boys. I remember being alone. It hurt everyday, and everyday even more rage would full me up inside because I wouldn’t eat anything. I remember hating myself and wishing I could start over or die. It didn’t help that […]
Quit Worrying About How You Look, it’s About Whats On The Inside!
i don’t care who you are. your beautiful and amazing in your own unique and special way, please don’t let what he/she says make you stop believing that. the people who hurt you most are the ones who usually are the closest to you…but don’t beat yourself up, and depress yourself with it, because they may have called you ugly. stupid. fat. etc..but only you can believe them..only you can take it to heart. only you can take it as far as it gets. You, are Your Biggest Enemy. free yourself from mental slavery, […]
‘Well, I know the feeling,
Of finding yourself stuck out on the ledge,
And there ain’t no healing,
From cutting yourself with the jagged edge,
I’m telling you that, it’s never that bad,
Take it from someone who’s been where you’re at.’
Damn, I love Nickelback.
Anyways. Feeling depressed :I and obviously suicidal.
Did i tell you guys about the day before my birthday? Well, I didn’t really know much about Daniel then, I just knew that I had a voice in my head that was driving me crazy. For some reason I thought I could release the voice inside my head by scratching at my hand until […]
MY LIFE IS WICKED ALL MY LIFE I’VE NEVER HAD NOBODY TO TALK TO I ALWAYS KEEPED MY STUFF TO ME. ”I ALWAYS SAID ME MY SELFÂ AND I” SO SOMETIMES I THINK ABOUT KILLING MY SELF WHY? BECAUSE AM SELFCONSIOUS AM ALWAYS THINKING AM UGLY I HATE MY BODY AM 21 YEARS OLD AM 5’FEET I WEIGHÂ 85 POUNDS I CANT GET OVER THE IDEA I WEIGH THE MUCH THE FACT THAT I C GIRLS MY AGE AND THEY LOOK LIKE WOMAN I LOOK LIKE A DAMMN 14 YEAR LD GIRL PPL DONT TAKE ME SERIOUS. I MEAN COME ON SOMETIMES THEY SAY TOÂ MEÂ ‘HONEY IS YOUR […]
and here we are again. Back to old self-defeating habits. Hope?
What is hope? Is it believing that there could POSSIBLY be something better? Is it waking up and looking forward to the following day?
Happiness?… We use this word as if it’s nothing. As if in a split second everything could go from complete shit, to being honky dory and you could be happy for the rest of your life. When someone asks me why I can’t “Put on a smile! Get out of the house!” I honestly don’t even know what to say. Yes, I know how to smile. But I don’t know how to mean it. All […]
Tear after the other, I failed to finish crying….
Keeping this mask on is draining my last bit of sanity..
Why is it when your sad you are always alone? Why is it that only I find pleasure in being there among those  who pretend to care?
Where is everyone now, when I am the one in need?
Been strong for so long, but loneliness has taken its toll on me, I dared to seek care… I dared to ask for tenderness.. I dared to imagine being loved.. But time after time, the nightmare kicked me in the guts, with phantoms of beings which never gave any of such …
Until..
I met […]
yeah thanks mom and dad for screwing my dream of being a model. yeah i knew it was unlikely anyway but u criticize me for taking pictures of myself thinking im doing all of it for attention FUCK NO! yes i know i may be beautiful but im no size 4 u still have no right to flat out say “honey, your just not skinny enough they will destroy u put u on a diet to lose weight i dont want u to become obsessed with size look at me dear im fat and can careless u should do the same” u have gotta […]