We avoid risks in life so we can make it safely to death.

and here we are again. Back to old self-defeating habits. Hope?
What is hope? Is it believing that there could POSSIBLY be something better? Is it waking up and looking forward to the following day?
Happiness?… We use this word as if it’s nothing. As if in a split second everything could go from complete shit, to being honky dory and you could be happy for the rest of your life. When someone asks me why I can’t “Put on a smile! Get out of the house!” I honestly don’t even know what to say. Yes, I know how to smile. But I don’t know how to mean it. All the expectations, wants, needs, hopes, dreams.. What good are they? What purpose do they serve when in no time, everything could crumble and turn to complete shit? What is there to believe in anymore?
Love? Is that it? Am I supposed to wake up next to someone, lean over and kiss them on the cheek, say “Good morning honey” and be happy?
Life? What’s the fucking point. We all sit here wasting away to shit, wondering when something interesting is going to happen, or waiting on “happiness” or “recovery”.

Death. The only true guarantee in life, is it? The only thing you have to look forward too?  The thing that suddenly becomes the only thing you’re afraid of- if you’re “mentally stable” that is. Mentally stable… what does that even mean? Does it mean being able to love yourself, and be happy, and want to live? Does it mean waking up in the morning and smiling and saying “I look forward to today!”

What ever. Tired of playing this pointless little game with everything and everyone.