Today is Friday. Mom’s night out for my granddaughters’ Mom – my daughter-in-law. At least that was true a couple of years ago. Now, Friday is the day that my wife of 36+ years gets to see my granddaughters while she is at work, but i am not allowed to see or talk to my granddaughters.
I am almost 60 years old and spent most of my life trying to keep up with the bills, but decided after being laid off after almost 22 years with the same company that I would rather spend more time with my son and his family than to try […]
Tag:
Hopelessness
I don’t really know why I try, if I’m honest. Before, I thought maybe my creative work wasn’t too bad – but now I think it’s all horrible, right as I’m about to finish a big project. I keep thinking it’s not good enough to show to anyone despite all my work. I’ve told people about how I’m about to finish it, I can’t just pretend that never happened – but I don’t want them to judge it once they see it. It’s all over the place… A mess of work.
Creative work is really all I have. I can’t stand long enough to get hired […]
Euthanasia in Belgium and the Netherlands (and the debate surrounding it)
by Taf Taf
written by Taf Taf
I must apologize in advance, because I’m going to put a lot of videos and articles in this post and it will probably occupy a lot of space on the starting page of this site (needless to say, feel free to write your opinions about euthanasia in the comment section).
https://theconversation.com/separating-fact-from-fiction-about-euthanasia-in-belgium-58203
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3748787/Euthanasia-tourists-rush-Belgium-free-lethal-injections-staggering-2-023-medically-killed-year.html
https://newsmavens.com/news/aha-moments/2088/belgium-fears-euthanasia-tourism
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2018/12/24/brussels-denies-eu-rules-encourage-euthanasia-tourism/
And a PDF about euthanasia in Belgium:
(poème de Baudelaire en Anglais et en Français)
The Desire for Annihilation (translated by William Aggeler)
Dejected soul, once anxious for the strife,
Hope, whose spur fanned your ardor into flame,
No longer wishes to mount you! Lie down shamelessly,
Old horse who stumbles over every rut.
Resign yourself, my heart; sleep your brutish sleep.
Conquered, foundered spirit! For you, old jade,
Love has no more relish, no more than war;
Farewell then, songs of the brass and sighs of the flute!
Pleasure, tempt no more a dark, sullen heart!
Adorable spring has lost […]
Lyrics:
So many feelings
Pent up in here
Left all alone, I’m with
The one I most fear
I’m sick and I’m tired
Of reasoning
Just want to break out
Shake off this skin
–
I can’t escape myself
–
All my problems
Loom larger than life
I can’t swallow
Another slice
Seems like my shadow
Mocks every stride
Can I learn to live with
What’s trapped inside?
–
I can’t escape myself
–
So many feelings
Pent up in here
Left all alone, I’m with
The one I most fear
I’m sick and I’m tired
Of reasoning
Just wanna break out
Shake off this skin
–
I can’t escape myself
I can’t escape […]
Lyrics:
Ah, look at all the lonely people…
Ah, look at all the lonely people…
–
Eleanor Rigby picks up the rice
In the church where a wedding has been,
Lives in a dream…
Waits at the window, wearing the face
That she keeps in a jar by the door,
Who is it for…
–
All the lonely people,
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely people,
Where do they all belong?
–
Father McKenzie writing the words
Of a sermon that no one will hear,
No one comes near…
Look at him working, darning his socks
In the night when there’s nobody there,
What does he care…
–
All the lonely […]
You said: ”I’ll go to another country, go to another shore,
find another city better than this one.
Whatever I try to do is fated to turn out wrong
and my heart lies buried as though it were something dead.
How long can I let my mind moulder in this place?
Wherever I turn, wherever I happen to look,
I see the black ruins of my life, here,
where I’ve spent so many years, wasted them, destroyed them totally.”
–
You won’t find a new country, won’t find another shore.
This city will […]
(Maybe it was because you hadn’t
mastered Geometry)
–
The lad was going blank.
It was ten in the morning.
–
His heart was growing full
of broken wings and rag flowers.
–
He noticed there remained
just one word on his lips.
–
And when he took off his gloves
a soft ash fell from his hands.
–
A tower showed through the balcony door.
He felt he was balcony and tower.
–
No doubt he saw how the clock,
stopped in its […]
Have you ever tried or even thought about committing suicide to any of these places? And do you have a place in which you would like to commit (or attempt) suicide?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=284&v=9M-LRw1mYYo
As for me, I went to the Corinth Canal several times (for those who don’t know, I live in Athens, Greece), but I never thought to jump from the Acropolis of Athens… And I keep wondering why…
Our efforts are those of men prone to disaster;
our efforts are like those of the Trojans.
We just begin to get somewhere,
gain a little confidence,
grow almost bold and hopeful,
–
when something always comes up to stop us:
Achilles leaps out of the trench in front of us
and terrifies us with his violent shouting.
–
Our efforts are like those of the Trojans.
We think we’ll change our luck
by being resolute and daring,
so we move outside ready to fight.
–
But when the great crisis comes,
our boldness and resolution vanish;
our spirit falters, paralyzed,
and we scurry around the walls
trying to save ourselves by running away.
–
Yet we’re sure to fail. Up there,
high on the walls, the […]
Lyrics:
Four o’clock in the afternoon and I didn’t feel like very much
I said to myself, ”Where are you golden boy? Where is your famous golden touch?”
I thought you knew where all of the elephants lie down
I thought you were the crown prince of all the wheels in Ivory town
Just take a look at your body now, there’s nothing much to save
And a bitter voice in the mirror cries, ”Hey, prince, you need a shave”
Now if you can manage to get your trembling fingers to behave
Why don’t you try unwrapping a stainless steel razor blade?
That’s right, it’s come to this… Yes, it’s come to this…
And wasn’t […]
Here we are
Stuck by this river,
You and I
Underneath a sky that’s ever falling down, down, down
Ever falling down
Through the day
As if on an ocean
Waiting here,
Always failing to remember why we came, came, came:
I wonder why we came
You talk to me
as if from a distance
And I reply
With impressions chosen from another time, time, time,
From another time
I just have no idea what to do anymore. I don’t want to be alive anymore but I can’t kill myself because anytime I think about doing it and how much I just don’t want to be forced to live on this rock, I see my parents and friends faces and how sad they’d be. This always brings a sense of hopelessness, I can’t die, I don’t wanna be here but I have to be so fuck what do I do. I’ve never felt like I belong anywhere on this whole world and constantly feel homesick for a place that I’m losing hope I could […]
So i dont know how this works so i am gonna start off by saying why i wanna get run over by a bus. You see i fucked up my life big time by my own hands last year and also this year. even when i could see that i was ruining my life i didnt stopped. its like i was enjoying watching myself get rekt. i am so fuking stupid! my dad finally decided its better off that i leave college cuz becoming a graduate is not for me. then coming to MY ABUSIVE JERK OF A BOYFRIEND. yea it would require another […]
I have no idea what to write here…. This is my first post, but I’ve been here reading all of your stories from time to time. It actually helps me and I’m so glad that I found this place.
I have no one to talk to. Or more correctly, no one I want to talk to because no one I know would actually understand me. And honestly, I would probably scare everyone away and I would end up lonelier than I am now.
I have months left to wait for my therapy treatment. What the f*ck am I going to do in the meantime?
My suicidal thoughts are back, and […]
Last night I lay awake in my bed thinking about my vacant, failure of a life. I think I have accepted the fact that I have lived longer than I should have. The first time I thought about suicide was when I was 20 years old.I’m 30 now. I think the only things that kept me alive and bothering to go on was that I was able to achieve some success financially in my now dissolved businesses, my family and the very smallest of things in life. But now things are becoming very dark. I think to myself that I really should have pulled the […]
Hi everyone.
Why is nighttime so much more difficult than during the day? Is it punishment, for powering through and doing your best and suppression and smiling during the day?
I thought I was doing and feeling a bit better, at least; Sunday evening on the way home from the office, I felt like crying, but then I pulled onto the highway and halfway home I felt this strange…euphoria? type of feeling, and I felt like everything was going to be okay! I felt I had finally accepted my lot in life, that I would not make enough to have independence, I would not have an employer […]
I have no hope for anything anymore, why should I keep living? I just want a reason to still be alive.
I struggle in school. After I messed up kept failing classes and failing a whole semester, it’s going to take forever for me to graduate.
Interpersonal relationships always seem to fail in some way or another, most people seem to want to take advantage of me, and leave eventually. Not to mention that I’m ugly and unlovable, so no one cares about me. I just let everyone down and disappoint them.
My father hates me so much, he changed his will to replace me with my cousins […]
Ive been struggling, struggling so much. Having no one to turn to is becoming a routine. Im almost accustomed to it really. I don’t even expect people to text/call me anymore. I don’t expect anything from anyone, and i never will honestly. Once you make a few mistakes, you’re labeled at “attention seeking”, crazy, bipolar, depressed. Ive only been home for a few months now, I was locked up for eight months, going through hell and then some. I guess you can say things fell apart completely after my sister committed suicide almost five years ago. I guess the problem was I was so young, […]
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