Imprisoned with no accusation

Today is Friday. Mom’s night out for my granddaughters’ Mom – my daughter-in-law. At least that was true a couple of years ago. Now, Friday is the day that my wife of 36+ years gets to see my granddaughters while she is at work, but i am not allowed to see or talk to my granddaughters.
I am almost 60 years old and spent most of my life trying to keep up with the bills, but decided after being laid off after almost 22 years with the same company that I would rather spend more time with my son and his family than to try to continue with my $85K annual salary. The weekly visits on Friday continued for a while, but COVID brought those to a halt after over five years of sheer Friday night bliss for me.
COVID slowed down the visits but they didn’t stop. After all of our vaccines were complete, visits finally seemed to return to some sense of normalcy at every 2-3 weeks. But I sensed a difference. Since the girls were now 7 and 9 years old, I assumed the girls had found more enjoyable forms of entertainment over their grandparents, which I could understand.
But everything crashed two days before my birthday in June. My birthday plans that had been made by the girls were canceled. No explanation except that my son was sick. I was OK with that explanation until my wife passed on birthday wishes from the girls after being told that the girls could not call me.
My best guess for this “punishment” was some pro-LGBTQ and anti-racist comments I had made on Facebook at the exact same time my son became “sick.” I assumed my daughter-in-law took offense to my attacks on hypocritical Christians that accompanied these comments. This wouldn’t be the first time that she had objected to my Facebook posts.  Her reasoning is that my posts should be G-rated so my granddaughters can see them and not ask any questions that she would be uncomfortable answering. Understandable,  but Facebook provides a mechanism for muting friends, a tool I have used on several friends who are sometimes profane.
Now, over a month later, I still am not allowed to call my son or his wife to get an explanation. I feel like I have been thrown in jail and I have no confirmation as to why I am not allowed to see or speak with the girls. So now, every Friday, I spend my day walking to the ledge and try to figure out reasons why I shouldn’t jump, since I am pretty sure that my wife knows and she is keeping a promise to my son to not share the reason with me.  I think she would if I pressed, but I really need to know the reason from my son.

My granddaughters are the only people I know that say ” I love you” to me, with the exception of my Mom.  I have a handful of others that will reply “I love you, too,” but that just seems more like a response than an actual emotion.  Without this affirmation from the girls, my existence at this point seems rather inconsequential.