I’m not thinking rationally right now…the thing about being bi polar is it all hits you so hard so fast and you cant get away from whatever emotion is running you over and all i want to do is breathe help me please im drowning in me… I want to die please tell me no please tell me no its buring a hole in me i dont want this anymore please please please
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Im 30 years old and have realized my mental problems started at a young age. Now being married for almost 10 years with 2 kids i feel like i cant go on anymore. Im socially irresponsable. Cant hold a job down. Have no savings and just down right a sorry excuse for a human in every aspect of the phrase. Ive cut off pretty much every relationship ive ever had with anyone because i got tired of letting people down. Ive been a manipulator since being malested by a neighbor at age 7 and never speaking up about it. Ive contiplated this for some time […]
Idk, i dont know how to really feel anything anymore, im not exactly sad, im not happy either though,
I lack alot of empathy or sympathy or whatever- to humans.
I dont like people. They can defend and lie and kill, they stab you in the back and do anything to save themselves or make sure theyre on top.
Humans are a disgusting race.
Destroying eachother with war and calling it
“defending our country”
“Honorable heros”
Bullfuckingshit.
There is nothing honorable about killing your own species.
We are here to advance and flourish
But we kill and murder the earth while we do it.
I HAD. a […]
i just have to remember ill be gone soon enough. i dont have any money so they wont care, just one more person they dont have to worry about. im so fucking stupid i should have done this sooner but i was to scared. when im alone i feel ok, but when im around other people im constantly being reminded that in im a piece of shit. im not worth anything to any one even if i did have a job and alot of money they still wouldnt care about me, its to late. its time to give up now. im still scared but […]
I try, ….
I try to love and find the reason to stay, but every day that I woke up I feel this fucking pain,
theres something wrong with me….
since I was a child I felt that I dont belong to anyone or anything…
I got a lot of feeling on me, and i cant control them
I know you may feel the same…
Im so fucking tired to try, try to live, try to die, try to do something else, always trying to get over this situation, but there no way out,
I need words of wisdom help anything before it becomes a murder suicide in this *****. Im so mad im calm my right arm is gettn numb anyone please help
from the perspective of the proverbial ‘watcher’ my life is pretty perfect, i suppose. I live in a beautiful house with a beautiful man who tells me i’m beautiful. we’re engaged and getting married. . the natural progression of this version of life, to settle down and squirt out children… for the last five years, no for ever, i have thought that i wanted that. to settle and breed… and everything would just make sense when my life was no longer my own. but i am literally in the process of realising that i DONT actually want this, i have but one life and im […]
I always have to ask myself are you crazy ? Whats wrong with you ? i wish i was able to answer myself but im so ashamed . sometimes i dont even wanna loook at myself in the mirror & my family is worried because im isolating myself but its just something thats pushing me away . They tell me to talk and express myself but when i do they correct me & tell me thats not how i feel ! i mean wouldnt you be tired of life , especially after you lost everything & basically your soul to !
I have matured in many ways and lived a good life but it seems im back in that useless hole again… no one can get me out only myself and i need to start searching for my motivation its a jourmey that will be painful but it has to be done or else i will keep feeling like this; this sorrow this uselessness and without hope. I starting a journey again and i want to be able to break out of this again.
I really feel like im out of touch lately. Kinda droning on by..just on auto-pilot most of the times. My visions been getting weird and im having bouts of dizziness every now and then. I feel like im in pain both physically and emotionally that its just been one drug after another. Hell, just the other night i wrapped up ‘life is strange’ with a cocktail of rum two painkillers, a muscle relaxer and my sereoquel to top it off. And i was still awake and in pain into odd hours of the morning…feel like im growing a little dependant on popping pills just to […]
14 year old girl. Anxiety makes up my life. Can’t do anything, can’t see anyone, can’t be anyone. I get sick to my stomach with anxiety every morning before school. Someone help with these attacks. They are killing me.
I just feel so shit all the time, everything I do always turns out wrong. My anxiety stops me from doing everything and I hate the fact I can’t do anything about it. I’m so scared to even speak to someone. I feel so useless now, no point doing anything if it never turns out right. I just generally just can’t do this, not fitting in anywhere. […]
i want to yell scream at the top of my lungs let them know how im really doing give them a chance to save me a chance to reach out and offer another option just one reason to stay a chance to show me someone out there still cares but i cant find the words dont know how to get it all off my mind without seeming like im just fishing for attention but maybe i need a little attention maybe i need the people in my life to let me know i still matter
how does one ask for help? how do i tell the people that love me that theyre killing me? all i want to do is scream for help but my mouth is sewed shut with embarrassment. other people have problems to, why burden them with mine? keeping it all in is whats been letting me survive but now i feel like im going to explode. saying that i want to die is an understatement.
Yeah, thats just all im gonna say too lazy too late to type properly sorry just thoughts flowing. This is my first post although i visited this site for like about 2 years never felt the urge to post only to read stories of other people but i saw many nice people around here and i figured i want to help people too but at the moment im just feeling so damn hopeless im sorry for bugging…. i guess i post from now on regulary if you dont mind suicide Community.
Im new here, and already after reading some of these posts I feel like I have found my people . haha. I dont know where to begin. Isnt that ironic? Since I dont know how to end it either? Man, Im funny.
Im a lonely, cowardice, self loathing 22 year old mother and wife who lives in a repetitive world that she oh so badly wants out of. Im very exhausted from living a lie.. Living to make sure to not step on my husbands toes.. I long for connection. I wont get it from him. When he attepmts, which is rare, it is forced.. I […]
taco bell bitches!!!! sorry im just really drunk and that makes me hungry.. and i dont have food here…and you guys are my friends now! this place needs an instant chat thing…okay goodnight! sweet dreams!
i dont have much time left. so i think im going to try and enjoy the time i have left, try and drown out all the bad stuff, talk to my friends, whatever. ill still keep trying to look for a job, but i doubt ill get one at this point. its almost over just 2 more weeks. i hope something good will happen, but i know it wont. thats ok ill be ok ijust have to pretend like its not happening for a while and then it will be over.
idk why nothing gets better
it doesn’t
i feel so much pain in being alive so alone such a struggle so hard now every day it’s like trying to breathe can’t breathe literally sometimes
the list of bad things is too long, the past always knocking me in the eye
i know im going to die soon b/c i cant bear sexual abuse and it’s horrors all alone anymore the fb’s the depression the noise terrorism the paranoia the past running into people i dont want to see the stigma
and at this point im really looking forward to it
it would be nice if there had been god at all […]
hey guys i havent posted in a while i thought i was getting my depression under control but this morning it hit me again like a ton of bricks if anyone remembers a while ago i posted a long post and in it i chose a date to hold off until to see if i was feeling better and i was for a month or so but now im not so sure im starting to think all the recent changes in my life just kept my mind to busy to focus on the pain but now that im settling back into a routine my fucked […]
I may have finally figured everything out. Im at a point where i cant get better. I just need to stay where I am in this state in which I need to be alone and rot. My Parents sometimes care and throw me away especially my father. But, They care more about my drug addict brother. They treat him more better than me. He curses them out and threatens them yet they keep letting him in the house. He is fucking 21 for christs sake! Im leaving to the Marine Corps. on janurary 11 and Im ready for the day to come. Im Obviously too […]