im lonely and im desperate for any kind of affection or attention
I just feel stuck and disconnected from everything and I just want to talk to someone but there’s nobody here for me to talk to
it feels like I’m just a bother to people
I wish I was loved like those perfect girls
Tag:
imperfect
Imperfection
What is perfect to me?
I always thought that being a perfect person was to one, just be skinny. That was the main point, to be skinny. Everyone loves skinny girls, right? No one loves fat, but apparently that’s all I have. That’s my blanket around my bones.
I look at my reflection every single day and just examined myself, and my flaws. I stare at how my hips are wide and how fat covers every inch, also on how my shoulders are wide and broad. I look at my small breast and my fat thighs. […]
I decided a while ago that self-hate is completely and utterly pointless. I don’t have any real reason to hate myself; neither does anyone else. You didn’t ask to come into this world. You were born, and you lived the life you did, and as much as you have free will, you are imperfect, and you will inevitably do stupid things. That’s not your fault. Your existence, no matter how good or bad you think it is, is not your fault. So try to redirect your self-hate. I, for example, choose instead to hate my life, not myself.
In hating my life instead, I often think […]
I just watched a Let’s Play of Nevermind and it was interesting. It’s a game that uses biofeedback and the developer(s) want to expand it so it can help people with stress and anxiety-related illness. The game got me thinking about “perfect worlds” but I know there is no such thing as a “perfect world.”Instead, I want to pose a different question to everyone… What is your definition of an imperfect, perfect utopia? My utopia is one where mental illness and disease didn’t exist. Granted people will die in it but it won’t be by one’s own hands or by a fatal disease… It would […]
He is imperfect. Short, freckled, quiet. Intelligent with stunning blue eyes. Depressed and anxious. Heart broken and ostracized.
To me he is perfect. But he has been gone for quite some time now, locked away in a mental hospital I know he abhors. I didn’t know how much he meant to me until he wasn’t there. My days became more dull, I stopped smiling as much. I became sensitive, I holed up in my room, dreaming impossible dreams of a life with him.
I began to forget his voice. His beautiful face. His small stature compared to my tall one. The notes we would write each other […]
I don’t understand why some people are so comfortable in their own skin and others (like me) would give just about anything to climb out of my body and beat it to death with a stick? I mean right now, if I had the most gorgeous and intelligent female on the planet hitting on me or begging me for attention I would cower away because as lonely and touch-starved as I am I creep myself out.
The thing that makes this all so illogical is that when we are comfortable and confident with ourselves we actually attract other people regardless of how imperfect our physical presence […]
With every step forward I use to think it was a step away, and in a way it was. A step into the future, not a better future but a future none the less. It’s funny but when the past is dark and you start to make moves into the future, you can believe the future to be brighter, or that the darkness is the past. It’s amazing how easy it is to make yourself believe something, all you need is the desire to believe it, belief in something doesn’t make it true but it offers comfort to believe that the future holds more than […]
i may spell your name wrong and other words… i may lose fath think you will never come back i may some times think wtf am i doing but you know what fuck it all when i get that emaile my belly flips and we met on this sight just over a year ago now and i love you more than evre are frends who we knew here are probaly dead or thay got better (better what is better) were still roleing on well not realy roleing iv tryed to kill my self agine twice now… iv had the thoughts even when im dancing with […]
Well, the way I see it, at this point in my life the depression has the biggest chance of winning… But I’ll be damned if I’ll sit by and let it take me down without a fight.
I know my chances of surviving until the next year are very slim. I’ve accepted that. Death does not haunt me, but neither does it call my name as intently as it did several days ago.
After reading over everyone’s encouragement and advice, I’ve made up my mind. I can either succumb to the darkness right now or I can try as hard as I can to escape it. Granted, […]
I know I may not have the perfect ski slope nose…the perfectly proportioned body. My feet are far too big for my body. I lack hips. I have a big nose. I have braces. I have creepishly long fingers. I have no waist line. I’m short. I KNOW THIS. And I just..I know, okay? I don’t need anyone to point out my flaws. I know what they are. I hate when people point them out. I hate when people complain about something that I know is a flaw of mine. It makes me feel embarrassed. I just want to curl up and die because while […]