I feel stupid. Maybe this whole being intelligent thing isn’t for me. Everyone in my family is smart, so that means there is a chance I am just stupid right? Maybe if parents understood how depressed I feel than they wouldn’t say these things to me, like “don’t you understand college will be 10x harder, or why are you taking those classes you’re never going to do well in them”. I think the real problem is I carry more on my shoulders than they think, so they should just back of. If they weren’t so on top of me, and making me feel like sh*t […]
Tag:
important
tust thinking… Yesterday I had a big conversation with two friends about all what’s going on in my life. It really felt so comforting to talk honestly about my feelings. And I thought about coming out to them, but I just couldn’t.
They’re two of my newest friends. In fact, I still find hard to call them friends, not because of how I feel to them, but because I think they may not see me as one. But they act like really good friends, so maybe I should just stop over thinking things.
It should be easy. They’re open-minded people, I’m too. My old friends know it. […]
It’s a funny question.
I question myself if I am suicidal … I’m diagnosed with major depression impulse control disorder and anxiety. But when I got discharged from the hospital again my second time I was okay… But after a couple of weeks so many people weren’t there for me.. I feel no need to live, because I’m not important… I also don’t want to go back to the hospital again and I don’t want attention I’m just tired
Never rely on other people. They will only let you down.
I can’t tell you what it really is, I can only tell you what it feels like.
by ToastIsMe
written by ToastIsMe
Ironically, I can’t actually describe what it feels like anymore. In September and October all I wanted was to forget and stop feeling- I was so certain that would solve my problems. Now I’ve forgotten so much I’m not even the same person. I have no idea what to say to people anymore. Writing is easier because you only see the finished product, you don’t see me daydreaming or imagining, or pausing; you just read this and that’s it. Face to face I find myself just sitting there staring. The only people I talk to are my roommate who is a self absorbed moron and […]
After reading some of the replies to my post “What if its God’s plan?”, I’m no longer quite sure if it is His plan. However, my plan included buying a burial plot and headstone without my wife’s knowledge. I paid cash for the plot in the cemetery where my father is buried, and put a deposit on a tombstone that matches his. Whether or not I complete my plan, it is still important for me to see my headstone placed in the cemetery My plan involved getting a credit card (again w/o my wife’s knowledge) to pay for the stone. I do have a pre-approved […]
That’s what people said to me after I broke up with my boyfriend.. I’ve posted about my story a few weeks ago (I was engaged with a good and loving man who promised me he would be there forever.. But it didn’t work. My bad character and my childhood (like hell in fact) made that he wasn’t able to love me anymore). Since then I was depressed, couldn’t sleep anymore, feel like nothing, empty. And I don’t know how or why I began to hang out with friends, to meet people, to laugh. I remember saying myself: life isn’t so hard! Go on like this! […]
I read the posts here and I feel so sad. So many people, so much sadness. I wish I could give each and every person a hug.
Let me say this… YOU are the most important person in your life. Please provide yourself with loving words, loving actions and hold on.
Take great care of you.
For the longest time, I have felt like someone who just “doesn’t matter” to hardly anyone. I am generally someone who is forgotten about and it seems like I’m simply not worth most people’s time or friendship. I will admit to not being very outgoing and am certainly socially awkward much of the time – hell, you could even make a case for describing me as “creepy,” I suppose – and I used to feel that these things had a lot to do with it. Quite honestly, though, I do wonder if there is something about me that is actually not related to those characteristics […]
Be strong and be the best person you can be. No one can ask any more of you. It’s alot easier to place blame than it is to forgive. Learning to forgive others is what takes true strength. Also, and most important of all, learn to be able to forgive yourself. Im such a preachy douche, lol.
hey folks, wow, what a crazy, emotional day.sun has gone down,the ex has left, and the anxiety has eased somewhat. we were able to get the big stuff out, and now can cocentrate on the little stuff. the important stuff is safe. how sweet the quiet. how sad the heart.it was good. my son and his girlfriend came and helped. the ex did not bother to tell me that they were coming. totally lost it when i saw him. he was great and really enjoyed having them here. embarrased of course.no self confidence or esteem. basically feeling pretty low. but also relieved. some of the […]
we decide whether to be happy in our lives or to take everything in a negative way. I learnt a very important lesson in life which is to make people all my friends and laugh with them and have fun, but never tell your secret to anyone keep your secrets for you because some people will listen to you but then they will make fun of you. if you feel you need to talk just write o a paper what is annoying you . just be happy and don’t over think and try to be positive ..
All my life it as always been like “Yarah why won’t you be kind” “why are you not respectful” “Yarah why aren’t you doing shit in your life” And its annoying because, i’m always helping everybody, whenever someone need something i’m there, and respect is an important thing to me i will always respect everybody, anyone and yes i’m always doing things from right to left i’m always trying to make things better and fuck just no nobody sees they’re always here to judge but won’t even see the things that i do and now i’m just sooo done, why give when you don’t receive, […]
Hey my classmates made this video, if we get enough people to watch it we get extra credit plus it sends out an important message to people everywhere. Watch it and tell me what you think -No, I am not featured in this film 🙁
My name is not important.
My story begins at a young age. I have always hated myself. At first, it was the little things. I hated my boring brown hair and yearned to be the beautiful blonde or the vivacious red head. I wished I could be shorter, I despised being a sky scraper among my peers. I wished my legs weren’t so hairy, I wished my hair wouldn’t curl at the ends. But these were minor things. I spent my time as an only child traipsing through the halls of my home while my neglectful parents tended to other things, more important than I. And […]
If you sit in a room … a dark room . No technology … nothing but black painted walls and you by yourself . You have time to think , to reflect on every little thing . As you listen to music ( for those music lovers ) it takes you to a totally different world . As if all that matters is you and what you are thinking about . It lets you escape into your own world . Everyone says you should try to nove forward … to move forward from those who hurt you , from the things that has happened in […]
Believe what you see from heroes and cons.
Hello again, SP. In my entire time having been depressed, I have only written here once before. This was when I was upset over a trivial problem concerning someone (read: no one-hee hee!) loving me. Boo hoo. Bleeding fucking heart for myself back then. (Please note that I mean no disrespect whatsoever to those of you having relationship problems-I’ve never been good enough for anyone, so you guys are cooler than me! Not that being cooler than me is hard or anything, but I digress terribly.) This time, I write for a completely different reason. A much more […]
Only one thing. Only one person matters so much to me. Well that’s not entirely true but what if THE most important person you can think of is long gone?
I have this friend who has been clinically diagnosed with severe depression. I have only known her for a little over a year but within that time period we have become so close that now I can call her my best friend and my rock. I have not told her about my depression though, but I think it is better this way. I am afraid to tell her how bad I am because then I am afraid that she will think that I am only making it up to be like her. I am not a conformist nor do I ever plan to be, but […]
I just want to begin with that I am an atheist, science is my only faith. So DO NOT GIVE ME ANY RELIGIOUS BULLSH*T. But to get down to it, I can’t deal with this existence anymore. I am weak. I am not capable of being, I am nowhere near strong enough. I hate this world, I hate myself and who I have become. I don’t want to be a part of this bullsh*t anymore. I have had a wonderful upbringing. Every opportunity has been afforded to me. I have no reason to feel this way. I have a bright outlook, academically and professionally. I’ve […]