I feel like a nobody, and like a burden to the others who do care. I have no health insurance, and a wisdom tooth that needs to come out. Daily I am reminded by excruciating pain, that I need to have it removed. No dental surgeons in the area and even out of my area, are willing to do payment plans for me. My husband even offered to sell his play station to put a down payment onto the bill, and no go! I feel like […]
Tag:
in pain
my life’s shit right now. i lost my gf she broke up with me and my dad constantly fight. i told her i would change but she dident care if i killed myself. she never cared i just wana be happy and she was the only thing that makes me happy i try to act like im ok to to all my friends but im really in pain. i think shes talking to somone. i cant fight this pain . im on my knees begging god to take my life away.i cant live this life im living i wish i was stronger i wish i […]
Well I had some medical issues that had been occurring over the past two weeks. I noticed some symptoms and panicked and got a full blood std test last friday. I was flipping out in so much pain and couldn’t wait till tuesday for the blood results. So I saw a Doctor on Monday and was given a clinical diagnoses and told I had genital herpes. I was devastated and cried but I accepted it, I was going to wait for my blood test to confirm what I had already been told before I spoke to the person I was currently seeing. I get my […]
You in my life will live eternally but a heartbreak lasts forever so I stand here alone holding my heart in pain…
Three months ago I lost my partner of 6 years (he dumped me because he “didn’t know what he wanted”), job & home all in the one day. I was broke, homeless & in a state of severe shock that caused me to lose 10kg in a week. I’ve only just gotten over the panic attacks, heart-attack-like chest pain & anxiety induced shaking.
What I want to know is this: does life actually get any better, or are we just fooling ourselves?
I’ve been working on myself, getting a new job & trying to lose more weight but I’m still miserable & my chest physically hurts, like […]
I am so lost in this world, I have been alone for a lot of my life, and it has made me shy and quiet when it comes to meeting women. I have dated here and there but things never go well, and yet I hate being alone. I fell in love about a year ago with a woman, I dated a long time ago. We had a strong connection, and have hadd some really nice times together. She is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen, and now that things are falling apart between us, I am more depressed than ever. I will […]
Hey guys I decided I would just share my story before coming to a final close. I am a nineteen year old male living in Austin who has become disgustingly depressed. I grew up what you would call a “perfect child,” as school work became my entire life. My parents are high class, high expectation type of people who get on my ass about every little negative detail about me. I feel like I have grown up a robot, and now I am waking up to see how tragic my life is like. I have been to wilderness program and a therapeutic boardinig school just […]
“What now?” The first thought in mind was the last thing I thought about while waiting to die. I woke up and it was cold, dark, and dirty from not cleaning the house while in my state of misery. I got up, stumbled to get to the bathroom, and sat on the pot. I didn’t use it, just as a chair. I examined myself thoroughly through the mirror and found that my eyes were bloodshot, hair was a slight grey, and my lips were cracked. I’m an average looking guy on most days and look younger than my age presents. I’m 21 and already the […]
i’m in pain now -_- is really painful
i suffered from social anxiety and major depression since i was a about 14 years old i was too afraid of people so i drop out of school and all i used to do is stay at home all day playing video games i was to afraid to go out my house i felt like people were always watching me, talking about me and making fun of me. also with my depression i was always in pain, so i had no friends, no girlfriends after so many years of pain i tried drugs, i started smoking weed for about 6 months but it only made […]
I want to be strong for my husband and my kids, but I don’t know how I can go on much longer. I have been sick for 2 years now, and no one knows what’s wrong with me. I’ve been in pain every day, and it’s making me a worse and worse person. When my husband and I first met he was so in love with me, and now he can’t stand me. He tells me that it’s not my fault and he loves me, but I can tell that he doesn’t. I’m just a burden to him. He won’t admit it but I can […]
“Do You Really Want to Leave Your Family With That Kind of Pain?”
by Lovebug4142
written by Lovebug4142
My mentor told me something a few days ago, that stuck with me. She said: “You really want to leave your family with that kind of pain?” Hmm, no. But I’m tired of ME being in pain. I’m tired of waking up everyday, and hating that I have woken up. Im tired of faking a smile and making people think I’m ok. I’m tired of never being good enough for anyone. I’m tired of hurting people. Yes I know that if I kill myself that people will be sad and hurt. But they will get over it. Its not like Im something valuable to this […]
Tired of disintegrating under the weight of my own fear of disintegration. Tired of watching everything I suffered so hard to build, crumble away, to slide back into the trauma I desperately want to distance myself from. Tired of the fear of disintegration, only to have it happen in actuality, and have all of my worst fears come true, for the x-teenth time: To relieve my worst experiences, those that caused me to be like this, over and over and over, in the context of current work relationships as I try to make my money and pay my rent, barely scraping by, wondering what I’m […]
My birthday is always a difficult one for me to swallow. I’m always alone, depressed, thinking of what it would be like to be released from such a hell.
I see people my age hand in hand, laughing hanging out having a good time, enjoying life. I’m alone and in pain that has become so familiar it’s like an adopted friend I can always count on to be there. The familiar sting, burning sensation I almost swear is right under my skin as the pain wraps it’s arms around me in a loving embrace.
I had a girlfriend who recently broke it off and told me, she […]
Its days like this I feel almost human, almost visible, almost a part of life. Days like this, although its too early & I’m on a crowded bus, I don’t want to die. I want to live & enjoy life. But I have to remind myself that this is only a fleeting glance. I am cursed, in pain, unlovable, poor & soon to be homeless. & that is not gonna change.
what’s righter: to suicide for your own good or to exist in pain for possibility of relatives feeling guilty and hurt the rest of their lives if you suicide?
I met a boy. He asked me out. And I was excited. Until I remembered.
I come from a different world than him. I come from a world that preys on the innocent and the ignorant and rots them from the inside out. I come from a world that takes pleasure in pain, in blood, in tears. My world is the worst kind of war, the worst kind of pain, the worst kind of silence.
And I have a responsibility to never let him into that world. I cannot introduce another innocent, beautiful soul into this darkness. I cannot let the pain take away his laugh and […]
Have you ever wanted to die, like, it’s all I really have ever wanted. Hell the first time I tried to kill myself I was 8. But no matter what I can’t because of my family, because I’m scared to death of hurting them. Even though they’re the ones who kicked me out because I called them out on stealing hundreds from me, the people who abused me and beat me no matter how much I cried, the people who screamed how useless, lazy and worthless I was in front of Everyone I knew when I was in 4th grade because I got a D. […]
I think I’m depressed, maybe even suicidal. It all started when I was 8. On the day before my 9th birthday, my mum committed suicide….I remember my reaction, I ran into my room, ripped down all my posters, punched the wall (it made a crack) and I broke the class on my bench, then I just ran outside into the rain and cried.
my mum had been depressed for a while, she had no money and struggled to get a job. She was even homeless so she stayed with with her friend (my parents split up). Yeah so most of the time I stayed with my […]
Will you use your final act to help others in suffering? I am thinking of writing a concise message for the news to pick up on if they cover my death.
Depression and anxiety are real. Hug your friends. Learn to notice signs of depression (they can be hard to detect). Offer your own experiences with pain, and don’t give up on friends going through a rough time. You are likely much more important to them than you think you are.
Am I rambling?
The method must be drastic. I don’t know how specific I am allowed to be here, but I am inspired by the monks in […]