Waking Up From Antifreeze

“What now?” The first thought in mind was the last thing I thought about while waiting to die. I woke up and it was cold, dark, and dirty from not cleaning the house while in my state of misery. I got up, stumbled to get to the bathroom, and sat on the pot. I didn’t use it, just as a chair. I examined myself thoroughly through the mirror and found that my eyes were bloodshot, hair was a slight grey, and my lips were cracked. I’m an average looking guy on most days and look younger than my age presents. I’m 21 and already the gloom of existence is evident and harsh. I got in the shower and cleaned my house. I was not tired, I was not in pain, I was just here. I was awake and I felt every breath, all the blood flowing through my body. Talk about wanting to die, I’ve never felt more alive. I don’t mean that in the jubilant sense either. I was alive and viciously hungry. Too bad, I spent all of my money on pizza, soda, and cookies. I was giving myself a last meal, never knew I’d be hungry again. If I can’t die now, I could write a book but who’d want to read about the misery?