I messed up. I messed up big time. I’m ready to end it. My girlfriend is freaking out and I’ve already said my goodbyes. All I have left to do is get my last few smokes in and then do it either by knife or taking as many pills as I can. I’ve lived way too long already. My grandfather died because I didnt call fast enough. I did something horrible to my cousin. I’ve hurt everyone around me. It would be better if I was gone. But I’m scared. I’m scared of pain. I was looking up ways of how to do it and […]
Tag:
in the end
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=66GHz-H4k6M
I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that’s real
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything
What have I become?
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end
You could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
I wear this crown of shit
Upon my liar’s chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappear
You are someone else
I am still […]
I’m sitting here in the living room, next to my mom and listening to her struggle to breathe. She has ALS, and for those who do not know, it is always fatal. Always. In the end, people who have it usually have to be on a respirator if they want to live. She won’t do it. So she just sits here and can’t breathe.
I can’t take any fucking more of this. I know damn good and well she will not be here next year at this time. At the rate she is going, she will likely not make it to xmas.
I am broken, aching, exhausted […]
it’s never ending .
I feel my self getting worse and worse every day.
I woke up sort of feeling good today . I wanted to kill my self this weekend but I didn’t. I feel selfish for wanting to give up my life , but I don’t know how to turn the pain off.
I went to my dental a class today and I feel like I’ve lost interest . I loose interest in everything. I’m not good at anything and I don’t really mean much to anyone . I haven’t made a impact . Everyone eventually fades out of my life .
Everyday I wake up with […]
We’re all going to die anyway. Why talk about our problems. They mean nothing in the end. There’s no point in trying to connect with or help others. There’s no point in doing any of this meaningless crap. We’ll all just cease to exist one day and our bodies will either be burned or put in a box and then put in the ground. We’re all going to disappear one day and nothing that any of us do will matter. There is no point to any of this.
I think the great majority of us on this site has realized that life is pure and […]
We wake up each morning- alive. We live, struggle, suffer, fall in love (if we’re lucky), have a bit of fun, suffer a bit more and then die. What’s the point of it all? What’s the point of going through all of this, actually putting in the effort to do all of this when in the end you will die? Why not just kill yourself now? Yes, life might actually get better, but what difference does it make when in the end everything will be taken away from you ? And what happens if life happens to get worse? You stay alive and suffer even […]
The guy I like asked me to be his.
I said yes.
I don’t know what I’ve gotten myself into though.
What if hes like most other guys? If he doesn’t really like me and just wants a fling?
Ill just end up hurt in the end, but for now hes making me smile even when I’m in the worst of moods.
I was with him yesterday. I saw scars on his arms. I wasn’t going to mention it to him, that would be insensitive of me, but maybe if he sees my scars he will understand? I’m not openly going to show him though, I don’t know if I […]
Sooo… hi. I posted on here for the first time a couple of days ago, and I got so much support and positivity. If anyone who read my previous post is reading this, thank you so much for your kindness. š
And also, if you’re reading this, be prepared for a rant.
In my previous post, I essentially said how my ex has affected my life more than I thought possible. And not in a positive way. To sum it up: I still love him after over a month of being seperated, and I’m pretty sure he hates me. Because of that, I’ve started doing things in […]
This world has gone to shit
large cracks emerge breaking apart cities and towns
spewing fire from the very depths of hell
there is no stopping the chaos it brings forth
cities burn, families die
he is merciless and will not stop
pain everlasting, brings nothing but sorrow
merciless combat breaks out between the ones
with the strength and the will to survive
friends turned to foes
as they fight to survive
he sits on his throne
laughing maniacally (laughing)
but in the end, he will kill them all anyway
entrapped in psychosis, is this a dreamworld?
ENTRAPPED IN PSYCHOSIS, IS THIS A DREAMWORLD?
WHAT THE […]
Life feels like this. When you were born it wasĀ like someone pushed you into the water. Maybe it would end up good, and you would enjoy the swim. Some might struggle to float or wouldn’tĀ like being in the water. And for some other like me, there’s a hand pushing me down under the water, desperately wanting me to drown, but life went on and on without end, the hand keeps pushing down, and here I am just struggling to survive. But we all know, death will win in the end. Why not end it sooner?
well something interesting happened to me today. I still feel depressed for having to reject a situation but I think its worth it in the end š maybe im the one choosing to be lonely now but im not sure.i don’t think so. just as long as I attracted positive energy, I viewed life differently and got what I asked for, which I later regretted. but once you do become positive, things will turn around. just had to vent I still feel like an idiot. I don’t know I don’t want to be alone but I want to.someone feel this way? or just lonely.? im […]
I have the worst life story ever ,All of my life I was alone and depressed I used to cry a lot and I have cut my self in the age of 13 ,I am now 20 but still feeling so alone and worthless ,My life changed when I’ve finished High school and it became better .. but after the first semester of university so many problems came to me at once ,and I’ve met bad people that made my life a living hell ,Felt in love with the wrong person .. and he broke my heart in the worst ways .. and in the […]
One of my personal heros, Jack Kevokrian, was held as a political prisoner for 8 years for helping a man choose to die who was so sick he was about to choke to death on his own throat. Just for comparison – thatĀ former prison guard in upstate NY who helped those two murderers escape is gonna get 5 years in prison.
In 2011, the Catholic Church excommunicated 2 people in Brazil – a 9 year old girl and her mother. Why? Because the 9 year old girl got raped and impregnated. The only way to save her life was to get an abortion. The Catholic Church […]
Ah, the beginning of the school year. Makes you want to tear up a little, doesn’t it? I mean, anxiety attacks are no stranger to me, so tearing up comes naturally. But hearing that first bell in the hallowed halls of Woodford High School made me cringe in my Vera Bradley backpack. Don’t get me wrong, getting to see the little freshman cower in fear was SSOO much fun, but seeing all the couples and relationships makes me want to smack my head on a wall. It’s fine though. The first day isn’t always as horrible as people make it out to be. I mean, […]
Hello all,
This is my first post on here, and I’m hoping to get some feedback about my situation and if I should be taking some sort of action towards it. A little background to the life that led me to this site. I have cystic fibrosis, a degenerative disease that currently holds the life expectancy at 37. I am also pre-diabetic and if this carries it’s course then my life expectancy will drop to a whopping 24. I am currently 19 and these two numbers have haunted the majority of my thoughts for quite some time now. I have not had an easy run at […]
Hi, Iām a visual novelist… well that what I was aiming to be.
People often tell you: āWith time you will get better.ā
Well, I wonder and anyway… I don’t have the luxury to take my time. But before I tell you about my current situation let me give you a slice of my past.
At the age of 15 I moved away from my country and started to travel with my parents in a country where I couldnāt reach my friends.
Internet you say? Well there were 8 to 9hours of time difference between them and me and I didnāt have a computer so I could only go […]
I look back over my life, such as one does, and can now understand the difficulties that I’ve had. Notwithstanding that I grew up in semi-severe isolation (refer other posts) I know now that I have a mental illness of some sort. I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety but these, I believe, are side issues to a greater matter not yet diagnosed. Ā I wonder if I am on the autistic spectrum? Maybe something else? Ā I know that I do not have schizophrenia for example Ā (no offense to those who have it) …. I just know that there is something more.
I live […]
Where do I go from here? How do I even start to write this? It will be long and painful but I hope to give some light to my life….to help you understand where I have been and the footsteps that have brought me here.
I’ve been abused all my life. At the age of 1 my mother pour Mr. Clean down both my ears and caused my eardrums to rupture, causing me to lose my hearing. When I was 8 I received an at the time experimental surgery to give me back what they hoped would be some hearing. It worked and for the first […]
Give me a reason, I see no hope I see no point in existence. We are doomed to wander this plane. Without purpose Without a cause All I know is that…
by Rotted_Flesh
written by Rotted_Flesh
Give me a reason
I see no hope
I see no point in existence
We are doomed to wander this plane
Without purpose
Without a cause
All I know is that…
We are the salt of the Earth
In that we salt this Earth with our bodies
Conceived as a curse
Condemned as a child of waste
We are born hanged
And we die in peace
Lay our bodies to rest
We do not fear death
Usurp our legacy
Spare us an eternity
In Hell
We are nothing but a jilted existence
Conscience in a prison of flesh
Forsaken life
Conceived as a curse
Condemned as a […]
It feels so empty without him around. My friend, that I met and fell for from day 1, my feelings have just been growing stronger even though I know I don’t have a chance in hell. If I were just half way normal looking and almost a normal size, I might have a chance at the love of my life. Yeah Iām afraid itās to that point. He has stolen my heart and soul. There are times I get a little aggravated and plenty of times I get hurt in how he can want every girl on the planet but I still donāt have the […]