Tag:

in the end

Midnight train

by AfflictedSmile 5/14/2015

written by AfflictedSmile

It comes to rob in the pale moon light.
resistance is futile no need to fight.

All it seeks is your life to steal.
Bringing with it unbearable pain to feel.

Darkness creeps out of the corners of your mind.
Escaping its grasp is impossible you will find.

It starts out innocent, telling you things you once knew were lies.
Unable to see truth in darkness through your own eyes.
It begins to convince you the lies are really the truth in disguise.

Your life is meaningless, how could anyone like or love you.
You attempt to deny it, but you know it’s all true.

You find yourself alone again […]

5/14/2015 3 comments

It’s all just a game.

by justanothergirl09 5/13/2015

written by justanothergirl09

When you feel alone.

Those are the moments when your demons take over your mind.

In those moments suicidal thoughts start circling around your head.

Trying to trick you into playing the game.

A game that once you start playing you won’t be able to quit.

And the only way you’ll get out is being dead.

Because in the end that’s what the demons want from you.

To die and never come back.

Because if we come back they will haunt us again and again nonstop.

Because they want to get rid of us.

After all, that’s what demons do for a living.

5/13/2015 3 comments

Fight For Me

by Sammi6xoxo 5/1/2015

written by Sammi6xoxo

When trust is just out of reach
And the soles of your shoes have worn from your feet
When you begin to accept defeat

I Will fight for you.

When day transcends to night
And the darkness has extinguished all light
When nothing ever feels right

I will fight for you.

If you decide to hate me
If you find that I’m disgusting
If you’re scared of what I’m thinking

I will fight for you

Because Trust still illudes me
Vulnerability is terrifying
And I know it hurts to breathe

I will fight […]

5/1/2015 12 comments

Just Venting Out

by unluckystranger 4/19/2015

written by unluckystranger

Does anyone feel like that people who say that “talent has nothing to do with success if you keep practicing” or “don’t give up your dream! :3” or something to that effect are only people who have been so far successful therefore wouldn’t know what the fuck they are talking about? The notion that everything can be that easy if you have the passion for it or the drive and you work diligently? ANYONE can have those things! but is what gives other people the edge is something genetic? sure someone can study techniques and maybe learn to use a new tool. but guess what?! someone […]

4/19/2015 2 comments

she called me daddy

by worthless_loser 73 4/19/2015

written by worthless_loser 73

Those familiar with my posts know that my fiancée and her three kids abandoned me and erased me from their lives completely. And that was after 5 1/2 years of complete and utter devotion to them.

The oldest and youngest knew their biological fathers. The middle child did not know hers. I first met her when she was 7 years old. Her mom and I started our relationship when she was 9.

At first she didn’t know anything about it, but when she found out, she couldn’t have been happier. Even though her younger sister’s dad had adopted her when she was 6, she never felt like […]

4/19/2015 4 comments

one choice

by worthless_loser 73 4/18/2015

written by worthless_loser 73

Sometimes I wonder what I would do if I was given a choice: go back and make one change in the most critical moment, or just do nothing and be in the same position I am now?

For me that critical moment was actually a series of tiny interconnected moments. Our friendship escalated to flirtation. At first just innocent, then mischievous, then naughty, and in the end serious.

What if I could go to that exact moment when we decided to cross the line? Would I back out now, knowing what I know? Knowing that I have lost everything, including my will to live?

But if […]

4/18/2015 1 comment

the other kind of war

by SkippingSchizophrenia 4/18/2015

written by SkippingSchizophrenia

i war with myself constantly, going from extreme highs to lowly lows. I don’t know what to do, I always over react and I always make mistakes, I’m like a sporadic pendulumI swing from doing what’s right and what’s wrong so quickly. my life’s a mess.in the long run I think I’m going to get a truck and I’m going to do some traveling probably go from one corner of the Americas to the other. and in the end of find a nice quiet and beautiful place then I will remove my stained from humanity. in the end I guess nothing was worth it, we […]

4/18/2015 7 comments

Screaming

by RoseHarper 4/9/2015

written by RoseHarper

What’s the point of shouting when there is no one to hear? I can scream my pain all day and night but everyone has lives. Everyone has their own pain. They can’t hear mine. It’s just a whimper. A passing phrase. A “How are you.” and “I am fine.” False. Unheard.
I had so many dreams. The only way to make them come true is to leave everything I’ve built; walk away from all that I know. Start over. Lose. I can only win if I lose. And everyone is blaming me for their suffering…and that’s not fair because I suffered so frigging long in […]

4/9/2015 1 comment

Lost

by morgo 3/29/2015

written by morgo

Im so young and so unhappy. Lost in a world of pain. I wake up everyday with hopes that it would all just disappear. I want to be better, to feel better to be happy but I can’t. I’m struggling, ive reached in every possible direction for support and help and some sort of guidance but in the end im left with myself and the fury of thoughts that run through my mind and veins controlling me. I love my family and I love my friends but theirs only so much I can take before I break and damn it I think im breaking..

3/29/2015 2 comments

Roman candles

by LifelessAnatomy 3/26/2015

written by LifelessAnatomy

I realized that life is comprised of snapshots Which our children will look at one day and reflect upon with wonder.Never knowing, never seeing the internal chaos and outward rioting craziness that filled the days and nights, trying to suppress the void and make sense of the senseless emptiness that is living. They will never know, because by the time they have enter this world we have already moved on from our unsure footing to more stable ground, It will in turn be our job to try and teach them the rights and wrongs, and do our best to prevent them from making our same […]

3/26/2015 4 comments

Psychiatry is going to kill me , but that’s ok I was suicidal for several years.

by Patrick Anarchy 3/22/2015

written by Patrick Anarchy

Psychiatry is going to kill me but that’s ok because I was suicidal for several years anyway.

I am fully aware the psychiatry is a very pseudoscientific with toxic drugs for treatment of so called mental illness. But I was born from two seriously disturbed mental patients in a NY state mental hospital. I was totally the product of psychiatric treatment. My entire existence is because of psychiatry. I wouldn’t have been born without it. I have been on almost every single psychiatric drug that is available. I have been mostly diagnosed with mood disorders and I am currently on disability for them. I have been […]

3/22/2015 0 comment

Buried (almost) alive

by DownNout22 3/21/2015

written by DownNout22

My life is a constant struggle for mediocrity. I feel like Sisyphus in a way. I constantly struggle to achieve anything in my life… but it never amounts to anything.

No matter how hard I try and scrabble out from under the rubble, it’s like my fingers get smacked down by a shovel, or run over by a mower… I can never dig my way out, never get free.

But at the same time, I can’t just do nothing either… if I just don’t try, I get burred down, covered more and more. Suffocating me until I have no choice but to suffocate or to lash out […]

3/21/2015 2 comments

worthless

by mbaerr 3/16/2015

written by mbaerr

So, I have just confessed to my boyfriend of almost 5 months that I have come to the conclusion that I’m gay. It was possibly one of the most awful things I have had to do. He cried. He loves me. I love him. But I cannot make myself feel sexually attracted to him. I have always thought that I am probably gay but I since I had only dated one guy before him I thought maybe I just wasn’t attracted to that guy in particular. I was going through the same motions as I was in the previous relationship. Except this time I was […]

3/16/2015 6 comments

fuck everything

by depressed_chick101 3/14/2015

written by depressed_chick101

you kno what .. you wanna know what really fuckn sucks is when you think you can trust someone but they backstab you .. are you fuckn serious right now .. i guess this is gods way of showing me who i need in my life and who i dont ..
fuck friendship fuck love bc i get hurt in the end anyways

3/14/2015 6 comments

Blips

by Skeleton100 3/13/2015

written by Skeleton100

We’re all little dust particles, none of us really matter in the end, but we can enjoy floating in the sunlight

Until the sky clamps shut and we fall to the floor in dark water

Shit, I didn’t take my pill today, what the fuck am I thinking

3/13/2015 1 comment

Oh Boy…

by Matt 3/12/2015

written by Matt

It’ll probably be some time next week. If all goes to plan.

I’m kind of excited, in a dark and twisted kind of way. It makes me feel more at ease knowing it’ll all be over soon.

I remember the last time I did this.

All the planning, all the secrecy. And in the end it came to nothing.

Bought a 300 pill tub of painkillers, took 2 because I had a headache part way through.

Bought 12 pints worth of beer and had one can, which was warm.

Bought a nice strong hemp rope and the beam above me wasn’t strong enough.

In the end I just fished out a razor […]

3/12/2015 6 comments

#1

by scartopia 3/7/2015

written by scartopia

Why do I have this sudden urge to take a blade to my wrist? It’s as if I just need to see the trickle of blood flowing from my wound. Why do I have the need to feel the burn as the blade pierces my skin? This isn’t a new feeling, but every time I want to fulfil my desire, the feeling just goes away. Why do I feel this way anyway? As soon as I build up the courage, the minute the blade touches my skin, a pleasurable sensation is sent down my spine. As I arch my back to take in the sudden […]

3/7/2015 0 comment

Pre-Suicide Notes

by kinai 2/22/2015

written by kinai

Dear Mom,

No, I am not yet trying to commit suicide. Just not yet. Not here. Not in this winter. If I do it, I’ll do it right. I’ll do it at home. Our home. Our real home. Not here. So, chill, I’m still alive. Isn’t that explained why this post is called pre-suicide notes? Hah. I’m sorry mom. I’m sorry for being a failure. I’m sorry to disappoint you. I’m sorry I’ve been so wasted in this world. I’m sorry that I’m being like this. No, you did nothing wrong, mom. You’ve been a great mom. Yes you are. It is just me. I’m thinking […]

2/22/2015 2 comments

Thoughts….

by alina_01 2/19/2015

written by alina_01

Read a children’s book called “The giving tree” and I realized how cynical I am. But honestly am I cynical?? The worst is reality is it not? Of course there are brief moments of selflessness and kindness in the world but those are hard to come by. The book angered me, it made me feel pity because I saw myself as the tree. This tree that gave absolutely everything it had to a person who could careless. Yet even in the end, after everything the tree was still stupidly happy. I’m fucked up in so many ways that sometimes I don’t know if I can […]

2/19/2015 1 comment

BPD etc

by lifeispeachy98 2/17/2015

written by lifeispeachy98

I was just wondering is there anybody else who has experience/ has BPD I was recently diagnosed with it, even though in my chart in the hospital it was recorded 5 years ago but to my knowledge I was never made aware of it. about a month ago my stress levels were through the roof leading to a lot of self harm and suicidal thoughts, I was also abused as a child both sexually and physically so my intrusive thoughts were quite graphic and vivid. this lead to my dissociating and basically i lost my emotions or any i did have were warped i left […]

2/17/2015 2 comments

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